I love keeping a journal or diary, but once when I was 16 my mom found my diary and read through it - and of course was really upset with me about some things I'd written.
I was very upset with her because SHE keeps a diary and always encouraged me to record my private thoughts in mine. She bought me many of my diaries. So for her to encourage me - and then read it and use it against me - seemed outrageous.
That (obviously) still haunts me now, many decades later
Luckily even though I keep my journal right on the headboard my boyfriend has never even shown an inkling of wanting to read it.
My mother thinks it is her right to pry into everyone's privacy, so my sisters and I never could keep a diary that was anything other than a boring daily list of activities. Personal ideas and thoughts never made it into our journals, because we knew we would be punished if we dared to have a thought of our own.
After I moved out, I was SO glad to finally be able to write what I actually thought and felt...until I was dating someone that also thought it was his right to know everything about me. I got rid of him pretty quick.
My fiance has never once pried into my journal, although both my paper journal and online journal are easy to access. I have willingly showed a few entries to him when we have had a shared experience, but other than that, my journals is for my eyes only!
Interesting post. I pretty much have my life made public between these forums, my blog, facebook and Twitter.
For really private stuff - and there is not much of that - I just keep it to myself.
When I was 15 or 16, my cousin slipped into my room (she and her mother were always snooping) and I walked in to find her sitting on my bed reading my diary. Ichased her out, but I know she told her mother things she had read because a few days later, my mother started asking where I was all the time.
My ex husband read my diary one time, just a small portion of it, and got all bent out of shape because what he read is whan I was pretty upset with him. Had he read more he would have had the full story.
I stopped writing a joural/idary for a long time, but started up again and don't worry about my new husband reading it, but I do hide it when visitors are in the partment.
I wonder if kids have it easier nowadays because they have access to computers so they can keep a "private diary" that really is private - they can password protect it and such so parents can't get to it. i think that's really important for a person, to be able to record their private thoughts. I do understands a parent wants to know things. However, I also a feel a child (or anyone really) should have a right to private thoughts however they want to keep them.
Jill - I do also put a lot of my life up on the web, but I also like having a private journal for my own private musings.
I am not entirely sure whether or not my mother read my diary, but I suspect that she did. She was always really nosy when I was growing up, and it made me be secretive, even though I didn't have anything to hide. I started keeping a new diary my freshman year of high school, and I kept it up for the first two years. I started my junior year and had started in my third notebook. I had a wooden box that was a few inches taller than my knees; it sat underneath one of the windows in my bedroom. I stuck my current diary between the box and the wall and left it there except for when I was writing in it.
One day I came home and got it out to write in it, and I noticed that several of the pages were wrinkled. No animals could have done it because the door to my room was always shut, my sister had moved out years before, and my father wasn't the type to dig around my room looking for a diary, so I figured my mom did it.
I took all three of those diaries and ripped the pages into small pieces, then dumped them into a large plastic bag and poured some Elmer's glue in on top. Eventually, I took the bag to a park about half an hour away and stuck it in a trash can there.
So, I'm not 100% certain that she read my diary, but I still suspect that she did. I don't have any other explanations for what might have happened. She didn't work and I was at school all day, so she had hours and hours home alone to prowl through my room if she wanted to.
I wish that I still had those diaries. I have ones from 6-8th grade, and from college on, but nothing from high school, and I really wish I did. But I still can't exactly say that I regret destroying them, because I didn't want her to read them. Still, I guess if she'd already read them, it was a little late to get rid of them at that point...
It was about a year and a half before I was able to write again. I still have some paranoia about my diary being read even though I live alone, so I keep them in a box with a Masterlock padlock and have both keys to it hidden...
Glassquatch - is she still alive to ask her? That might be something interesting to know - maybe she never did read them and it was just random chance. That's a shame that you "lost" all of those thoughts of yours.
It might be worth it to sit down and write down all your memories of those years now. I know it's later - but still, if you wait another 10 years it'll be even further away. Things you remember now, you might not remember then. And as time goes on, you might remember other things. It's a way to preserve parts of your past. You might enjoy reading those memories in 10-20 years.
I think people who read other people's journals without permission deserve what they get!
I agree with you, Yarnplay.
In my younger days I knew my brother read my journal every chance he got, the stinker, so I made sure he read exactly what I wanted him to read!
This is something my mom has done to me (encouraging me then use that against me or/and complain that i did it) numerous time. If I would of kept a journal she for sure would of read it because she used (only stopped recently - she probably goes through my things still when im not in the house and she is) to go through all my things including garbage.
Had I kept a diary or journal when I was a teen I would probably not wanted anyone to read it - however, as an adult/parent I am always sharing excerpts from my journal with my children. I remind them of things they did as young children and places we went and experiences we all endured.