I consider myself to be quite kind, and sometimes like to do nice things for others, and I never expect anything in return. But often I find that people take advantage of me, and I am do not know how to say no. Anyone have any suggestions on how to handle these situation? Thanks

I used have this problem too. I can be too empathetic and hate to say no. this ends up with people expecting me to pick up the slack, getting taken advantage of, and me agreeing to things I dont want to do.

one trick that has helped me is to come up with phrases to the most common asked requests so I can prepare. "sorry, I can't help with that report, I am just swamped today." "Sorry I have to take care of something else after work." "sorry, my husband and I have can't lend money out right now"

Sometimes someone will sneak something in that you weren't expecting. I always tell people I need to think about it, talk about with my husband, check the calendar at home, I'll get back to you on that.

saying no isn't easy and it is usually the same people coming back with their hand out again and again. I try to be as polite as possible, but I have started to set boundries.

what is the most common occurance that is happening to you?

Yes, I too suffered a lot because of the same problem which made me so depressed. Later I found a good solution through hypnosis and hypnotherapy techniques from thoughtsbecomereality.co.uk which increase my self development and self confidence.

Awesome topic bella989! Good boundaries really help with problems like this, as do "action plans." I use both. I know, on pretty much a constant basis, what my financial and time limit boundaries are, as I'm careful to keep up on my budget and calendar. This way I know in advance what I can and can't agree to. I've found that most people won't get upset when you say no when they know that you genuinely care. By this I mean, they sense that you're not trying to sidestep them but simply can't help. When someone asks me for help and I can't give it, I'm careful not to avoid them, or say yes and keep putting it off with excuses. Instead, I make it clear that I can't help, but then I stay engaged in the conversation and help them find ways to help themselves. I help them think through all the other resources (people, organizations, etc) available to them, as well as creative ways they can come up with money or whatever else they need. That way, I still care and am still helping- without overextending myself. Keep in mind, too, you do NOT have to explain your reasons why you can't help. Explanations give them room to argue. If you say you have inlaws visiting this weekend, they'll suggest next weekend. And so on. Simply say "life is too crazy right now." If they question that, say "I'd rather not get into it. Let's focus on your problem and see if you can find some other way to fix it." It takes you right out of the spotlight and helps them help themselves! Good luck!

Most people hate saying "no" as they fear the repercussions! Thankfully there are now many books and articles on the net on the subject.

In a nutshell, just say "I'm not able to" confidently. Don't raise your voice or become upset. As Nyya says above, never feel you have to explain. You have your reasons and they may not be ones you wish to discuss. If you feel all right explaining, keep it simple.

Funnily enough, people doing the requesting very often fear how you will react, and they�re usually quite relieved to just get a 'yes' or 'no' answer from you.