Wasn't sure where to post this but anyways, I finally want to quit smoking but I'm having a hard time telling myself no when I want one.

I had my first cigarette when I was 12. I've been smoking off and on since I was... 14 and I am 22 now. The longest I've gone without smoking at all was probably about 6-8 months. I went a year where I only smoked when we went to the bar or a party which was about every 3-4 months and I would have maybe 1 or 2 smokes that night and then that was it. Last time I really tried to quit I went about 4 months I think. What I did was place little notes around the house (bathroom mirror, by the phone, on the fridge etc) and every time I came across the note I had to read it outloud 3 times. It would say things like "I am a non-smoker" "I don't want to smoke" etc etc. I did this for about 2 weeks and it did seem to make it a bit easier. I also drank lots of water and chewed lots of gum! But then I started again for whatever reason. Our cat died, stress in the family, stress at work, depression, my husband has a hard time when he's trying to quit so then it puts a bit of a strain on his mood which then affects the way we communicate etc.

This time around I keep telling myself that I don't want to smoke, but I keep doing it. I smoke the most at work or in social situations. At home sometimes I wont even smoke at all, or maybe just 1 or 2. It's hard at work because everyone else smokes there and it's hard to get away from that. It's such a habit to just go outside on my breaks. I know I could just stay in the staffroom and read or something, but I don't.

My husband and I are moving again June 1st and he said he wants to quit after we move, and I want to quit before we move. We know from in the past that we cannot quit together. It's just not easy to deal with when you're irritated by everything and when someone else is irritated by everything at the same time then we just end up caving in together. So I figure if I can quit first, then I can get over that first part on my own and by the time he's ready to quit then my moods wont be so off, and then I can be a little more supportive.

I just keep thinking that I know I can NOT smoke, it's just soo incredibly hard to think that I will NEVER smoke again. Once I get that thought in my head then I just stop trying... It's really hard to explain and I wish I could change this. I know the benefits of quitting, I know the consequences of smoking, I can think of alternatives to try and take my mind off of it (reading, walking, drinking water, etc) But I just seem to lose my motivation to really give it a good try! Anyone have any advice?

I have heard that people are a LOT more successful at quitting if they get support, and i've heard to that the gov't and the American Lung Association have found out what methods are the most successful. Some people find that hypnosis really helps them to quit more easily. Here are some resources for you:

The American Lung Association
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Yes. Support is important when you quit smoking.

das, did you ever smoke, or know someone who quit?

I smoked for almost 30 years. I smoked a lot--up to 2 packs a day. I quit once for a week and once for a day that whole time. I just celebrated one year without a cigarette on May 5.

So, here's the truth as I know it about quitting: (Your mileage may vary)!

1--It's easier than you think.
2--Smoking is an addiction and all the relapses are just that--relapses to an addiction. It's the nicotine talking. Any addiction is the same really, just different substances.
3--The withdrawal from nicotine physically is 3 days of feeling like [censored]. (Small amounts of cranberry juice every hour or so will help stabilize your blood sugar.) Then, there's two weeks of feeling withdrawal "pangs" and really wanting to smoke. Ignore them. They go away in like two minutes.
4--After two weeks smoke-free, all that's left is breaking the "habit" of reaching for smokes when you drive or finish eating or get [censored] at someone--whatever your own triggers are.
5--You will think "I want a cigarette" many times--when you are having a drink, for example, long after you break the addiction. Don't fall for it.

Never smoke again and you will never have to worry about any of it again. NOPE stands for "Not one puff ever". Even after a year, if I smoke a cigarette, I will be re-addicted. You cannot play with addictive substances and expect you will not be subject to them.

And, finally, watch "Intefvention" on A & E. I used to watch the show and think how stupid those people are -- destroying their lives and the lives of their loved ones because they can't break an addiction. One night, I was smoking and watching and as I put out the cigarette, I realized I was preaching to my addicted self--it's no different really. Addiction is addiction.

You can certainly break the addiction. My sweetie quit one week before I quit and that worked for us. It was a grouchy couple of weeks, but we understood it was the addiction talking and not really us.

Once you put out that last cigarette, don't even entertain the notion of smoking again. You will be so proud of yourself, too--quitting is freedom!

Good Luck!

WOW BellaDeb! Congratulations!!!!!

I have a question for you... what do you think of people trying to cut back before they quit entirely... does it help?

Thank you, Holly. I am still rather amazed. I never thought I would be able to kick it.

Before I answer, I would never discount anything anyone tried and especially anything that worked!

But I didn't cut back. The research I'd done indicated that cutting back really just prolonged the "agony" of withdrawal. It is kind of like the bandaid approach--do you rip it off quickly or ease it off slowly? I guess in this case, I preferred to rip. For the same reason, I didn't use nicotine replacement patches, gum or anything. I totally support anyone who chooses to go that route, and I do believe anything is better than nothing, but I tried them before and while they lessen withdrawal symptoms, they also keep you addicted longer.

So, all in all, whatever works is fabulous and whatever doesn't work is just one more step on the road to finally quitting! It's all good!

Wow that's incredible!

I find that getting to the 2 week point is alright - it's tough but I can do it. I can even last a month or 2... but it's when I get to the third month that I break. I'm not sure why. My husband is the same way. Last time I attempted to quit I last 6 months and I gave in. He only lasted 3. I think it's harder for him to quit than me, but for whatever reason after 3 months I give in. Or I used to use the excuse of when I drink I can smoke. Then of course I end up smoking regularly again. For one year I went without smoking regularly, and only when I went to the bar which was maybe 3-4 times a year. I don't seem to have the will power. We both give in when we go on vacations, or when we drink or when life is extra stressful (death in the family etc). Those are the times we cave in after going 3 months, 6 months, a year. My husband gives in a little easier than me because it affects his mood alot more than it does with me. He gets really [censored], where I just get emotional. And when he gets [censored] he doesnt like being in that mood all the time so then he gives in.

Thank you, Lala!

You can do it too! According to my research, all the [censored]-ness and emotions are the addiction talking to you--telling you you will feel much better if you just smoke. And you will, for a minute, then you're right back to it.

Truth is, everyone gets [censored] and emotional sometimes. Even people who never smoked. It's just part of life. Find other solutions--exercise is great, chewing gum might work, or how about a hobby such as knitting or painting? (I did make a list of "Things to do Besides Smoke" when I quit so I could refer to it when I really wanted to smoke. It helped take my mind of the craving. They do go away. And, if you don't buy cigarettes, and stay away from smokers (or tell them not to offer or give them to you) when you are quitting, then you won't smoke.

Just remind yourself you are a smoke-free zone!

But then, what do you do if your spouse smokes? I've had friends where one quit and the other kept smoking. If you both quit at the same time, wouldn't it be risking WWIII?

Yeah last time we both tried to quit we almost killed eachother! lol.. not literally! But it was tooooo intense. And when I said I get emotional and he gets [censored] - I know that that's part of life and everyone experiences those things, but with us it's to the extreme and it gets to be too much to deal with that we both cave in.

I know I can do it but it's gonna be tough. It mostly gets to me at work and in social situations. All my friends and family are smokers. The only non smokers in our lives are hubby's parents!

You can do it! I can tell you are strong.

And you have lots of reasons to quit, and not just for yourself. Think of how your quitting might help your parents and other family to quit. When you quit, you'll be inspiring them. Most smokers want to quit, but i guess it helps us all to know someone who has done it.

Thank you

I know I can do it too... I just have to wake up one day and not smoke. It will happen.

A couple other suggestions:

My boyfriend swears by Wellbutrin (Zyban) and it's worth a shot--it lessens the nicotine cravings in the brain. It's covered by most insurance and sometimes docs have samples. You start taking it a week before you plan to quit. Not for people with seizure disorders, but most others can take it.

Having a "quit date" also helps mentally prepare you!

Also, I read Allen Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking book and it really helped me understand the addiction thing and probably made it easier to quit. It's at Amazon & most bookstores--costs way less than a carton of cigs!

Good luck!

Your boyfriend succeeded?

Congradulations BellaDeb for the one year mark is truly a milestone! I too had smoked for over 30 years. Today I am 76 days smoke free and everyday I celebrate this accomplishment because I am truly free and taking back the control that cigarettes once had on me. I think in order to be sucessful, everyone has to want to quit. If your not ready or you are quitting for the wrong reasons or because someone else wants you to quit then the chances of failing are greater because this truly is an addiction.

I used the new drug out called Chantix. I had in the past tried most everything on the market from Zyban, nicotine patches, hypnosis and the gum and nothing ever worked for me until I discovered Chantix. Prior to now the longest I had ever gone smoke free was 14 days. When we smoke nicotine attaches itself to certain receptors in our brain that release dopamine which is what gives us that pleasurable sensation when we smoke. What Chantix does is block the nicotine from attaching. You set a target date to quit usually one week from the day you start taking the medication and then you put your cigarettes down.

Many people are having great results using this medication so if anyone is ready to quit and they think they need help see your doctor and as them if Chantix is right for you. It was a lifesaver for me. You can obtain information on this medication by going to their website. They have some great information to help you decide if this may work for you. Good Luck to those of you trying to quit.

Zyban is not good?

I've heard many different things about Zyban. I know some people who always felt sick from it, while others it worked like a charm. I think it just depends on the person. Not everything is going to work for everything, and everyone will have different reactions to different quitting techniques. For me, I've never tried the patch or any other medication. Always cold turkey for me!!! I may be wrong, but I always think that using the patch or anything else just keeps you addicted longer and isn't really going to help you quit, it's just going to take the edge off which I suppose does make it much easier, but I'd rather just choose not to smoke and then don't. lol

I quit smoking in 2002 after reading Alan Carr's book and joining quitnet.com's support site. I did the "weaning" method, cutting back on my "trigger" times one by one (such as no longer smoking just before going to sleep, or smoking when I was on the phone, or smoking while I was driving, or smoking during breaks at work, or smoking after meals, etc.) until I was only smoking one cigarette a day first thing in the morning. I kept up that one-cig-a-day thing for months before I finally finished Carr's book and set a solid quit date (Thanksgiving weekend), and when that day came, I didn't have my morning cigarette. I think it's the hardest thing I've ever done, but I don't miss smoking like I feared I would.

My husband quit in 2000, so my smoking became something I didn't want to do around him. I started smoking outside, making myself as uncomfortable as I possibly could, and that helped me to want to quit. Doing it gradually the way I did helped me deal with the withdrawal in small doses, so it didn't hit me hard all at once (the main cause of my previous quit attempt failures), and I had to learn a new coping method, as smoking was the one thing I had always turned to in emotional-upset times. Now, instead of going off to smoke and sooth myself, I call my sister or a friend and talk it out, and I think I'm much more mentally healthy, too, as a result.

But if you're trying to quit, my hat is off to you. It's a tough challenge, and you're very brave to face it

Thanks Barbara... I think that's a great way to quit! Eliminating each trigger one by one. I think that is something that would work for me, and possibly my husband.

I wonder if starting with the most common/hardest trigger first would be helpful. My biggest triggers are on my breaks at work and in social situations. It is soo hard not to smoke at work because that is where I smoke the most. And then of course the social situations (parties etc), and then boredom and stress. If I can keep myself busy then I don't think about it much, but then if I'm too busy then I'll get stressed and want a smoke lol.

My plan to quit by June 2nd. We are moving June 1st and I'm going to use this opportunity not only to move from house to house, but to make some lifestyle changes ex: quit smoking, start exercising, get back into drawing, painting, crafts etc, eating healthier, going back to church etc.

Wow, those are a lot of changes you have planned! But moving is a good time to "clean house" and go for a fresh start. That's the best time to establish new habits, new routines, too.

Yes, that trigger-elimination method came to me when I thought about how tied my smoking was to certain times of the day and activities, so I tried it, and it worked. Everybody has different attachments to their trigger behaviors. For me, the hardest ones to eliminate were smoking at work breaks and smoking in the car. But I just kept setting dates for myself to go for the next elimination, and they weren't nearly as difficult to stop as I had expected.

By the way, I did practically stop socializing for a bit--it helped to not be around people while I was quitting, and I didn't resume my social life until I'd gotten a few eliminations successfully under my belt and knew I could go to a party without being tempted to go outside with the smokers.

At work, I started stretching out the frequency of my smoke breaks, taking them less and less often, and walking instead while sucking on a mint (and breathing it in :)) so I wouldn't gain weight.

Yes, das, my boyfriend succeeded, too--he quit one week before me and has also been smoke-free for over a year now.

Step number one starts tomorrow:

Eliminating 1 of 3 of my smoke breaks.

Quit smoking date: June 2, 2007. Wish me luck lol

Good Job, Lala! You'll do great!

Wonderful, Lala!

Each hour free is success! Good luck!!!!!!!!!

Today at work I thought of a great way to quit smoking!

Basically, for every month that I am smoke free, however much money I would have spent on cigarettes I donate to a charity of some sort. That way if I break and start smoking again then that means I don't have that money to help out those in need, which isn't a very good feeling because I don't get to help people all because I wanted to smoke!

Instead of looking at it as "quitting" Im choosing to do something better with my money.

I don't know how many people would go for it, but I had a brief thought of starting one of those things that are like the "bike to work weeks" where whoever wants to participate donates the money that they would have spent on their bad habit (whether it be smoking, gambling etc) for one week a year. And call it something like "Quit for the kids week" or something along those lines and donate the money to a Childrens Hospital or a Cancer research fund. And who knows, it may help people break their bad habit because alot of people have a hard time even getting through a couple of days, so if they could make it a whole week, then that could be a start to the end of their bad habit. Alot of the time it's hard to quit for yourself (even though that should be why you are quitting) but sometimes it takes some sort of incentive and reward, and to me there's nothing more rewarding than helping others in need.

Lala, that is a great idea! I have a friend that works at a place that makes a "Biggest Loser" pool each month. Those who wish to participate, put in $5 at the beginning of the month and they weigh in. At the end of the month, they weigh again. Each person who gains weight has to chip in an extra $2 per pound gained, and whoever is the biggest loser wins the pot.

But i like your idea of giving the money you would have spent to charity. For me, i find if i "diet" then i'm only thinking of what i can't have. Instead if i think of adding more healthy food into my diet (like if i set a goal for how many vegetables i eat in a day), then i'm thinking of what i gain, and it feels better and works better. I think your idea is like that, too. You can focus now on what you are now able to offer and how you can help others! I think that's awesome!

You are very sweet, Lala. I'm glad to have met you.

Thank you Holly!! I'm glad I met you too!

I quit a couple a years ago after smoking for 17 years. Everything all the ex-smokers said is right on. All I will add is this......try not to tell yourself that you will "never smoke again." When you are trying to quit and you tell yourself that, it just makes you want to smoke one last cig because it makes you sad to think that you " will never smoke again."

When I quit, I focused on one day at time. Sometimes I had to focus on 1 hour at a time. But I never told myself that dreaded phrase because it will defeat you. Instead I told myself, "I CAN SMOKE A CIG ANYTIME I WANT, BUT I CHOOSE NOT TO."

I agree, FiddleDeeDee--I never gave myself any kind of ultimatum either. I always felt free to have a cigarette if I wanted to, but oddly enough, I never have. It's been five years. Wow.

I do dream about smoking sometimes--odd dreams in which the first few times I was given a cigarette that I kept carrying around and trying to light but couldn't, then I'd be after a cigarette and kept getting stymied from actually getting ahold of it, and in the most recent ones, I actually get ahold of a pack of cigarettes and then forget I have it and realize later in the dream I forgot to smoke! So I guess even though my body quit smoking five years ago, my brain is still processing the whole thing?

Hey, Lala! Today was your quit day and I just wanted to send good thoughts your way! Hope all is going well!

Thanks Deb!

Today was ok... I had my last smoke last night at 10pm. I had one left over from my pack, which my husband gladly took for himself lol. He's planning on quitting too, just not yet.

There was a few times today where I went to grab smokes out of my purse and of course then realized I have none lol I was a bit disappointed, but I moved on! This morning I woke up a bit grumpy too because my first thought was "I have to work today....with no smokes" eek... but I got up had a shower and felt better after that. It was a bit of a struggle, but it's not so hard for me to go 1 or 2 days without smoking, it's when it becomes 3 weeks that really gets me. Or when something really stressful happens (death in the family - that sort of thing) I have a hard time not giving in.

Well, for the next while I'll be posting my daily thoughts and feelings.

Thanks for all your support!

Very grumpy today....

Lala, over the next few days, drink lots of water, breath deeply for a few minutes every half hour or so, take a hot shower or two or three

Some people say eating foods high in niacin helps, as nicotine "mimics" it.

I'm thinking of you! YOu're doing great!!

You ARE Lala!!! You rock!

Day 3 - Nothing but irritated. And for some reason it's worse around my husband. My tone is off with out meaning to be, Im snappy and come off sounding harsh, and then he seems upset with me. This is why people give in to smoking again, because it actually phycially hurts when all you are is irritated and annoyed by everyone around you. It hurts me because it hurts them. And of course Im now extremely emotional and can't stop crying right now. My husband understands what it's like, but I think he keeps forgetting that I'm trying to quit, so then he just thinks I'm being snappy for no reason and then he gets irritated. It's hard to even talk to him because I get so irritated. I've avoided talking to people for the last couple days too because they'll just annoy me that sounds awful! And as I recall last time I tried to quit it's always day 3 and for the rest of that week that I cry like a baby. I hate this.

Crying is probably good... it's a way your body sheds excess stress chemicals. Tears you cry when you're feeling emotional are chemically different than tears you cry when you've been physically hurt. But i can imagine it's no fun!

You're doing this for yourself, and you're doing it for your husband, too... so you can both have long and happy lives.

What can we tell you that will help at all?

Would you like to hear success stories?

Or be distracted with jokes?

How about letting you know how much we care about you and admire you for each day you've quit so far!

Thanks Holly

It's always nice to hear others success stories... kinda encourages those who want to quit and shows us that it IS possible. I just don't know how long I will feel like this, and I can't stand being like this for very long, and that's why I always gave in before. Does the extreme irritation and emotions last for days, weeks, months? Im sorry but if Im nothing but angry, irritated, and emotional for 3 months that's very draining. Not that smoking is any better for my health, but it's like going through a depression when you quit smoking, and we all know that those feelings go away if we smoke again. It's an awful vicious cycle.

Well, my husband and I just had a very good heart to heart. It all started from me just being emotional from not smoking, but we basically discussed each aspect of our relationship and how to improve things. And what my personal goals are and what he can do to help, and what doesn't help. That was quite the tear fest for about 1/2 an hour but I do feel a bit better now. Just taking it one day at a time....

Congratulations, Lala! Nicotine will (as most other addictive substances) try to convince you that you have to have it to survive! Don't believe it--think of your addiction as a two-year-old throwing a tantrum. Just ignore that it's making you feel so bad and it will eventually go away.

Smoking is also sometimes an emotional crutch we use to avoid conflict and without the smoking, we don't have a crutch. You are in withdrawal right now and for other drugs, they lock you away for awhile so you can be awful all by yourself. But, with smoking, you have to do it and keep on with your daily life. We don't get a rehab.

Just don't make any rash or important decisions for the next couple of weeks. Treat yourself like you are in rehab. Be kind to you and ask your husband to be especially kind to you, too.

Remember to keep your blood sugar up--try diluted juice or fruit every hour or two. Crashing blood sugar is a big reason for the tears and irritation.

I promise this awful time goes away. You are actually over the worst part already! Most of the nicotine has left your body by now. From here on out, it gets easier and easier and by two weeks, the withdrawal will be over. After that, you might mentally want to smoke (your triggers will still say "hey, time for a smoke"), but you will not physically feel the "need" anymore.


I've been smoke free for one year and one month as of tomorrow. I smoked for 28 years and if I can quit, you certainly can!

We're all so proud of you! Keep it up!

haha... i love that image you gave, BellaDeb!

Lala, i have not smoked, but i can tell you about J, whom i used to be related to by marriage. She had to quit a few times before she was finally able to do it for good, but i have always greatly admired her for quitting, and have often thought of her because of her accomplishment! I think quitting shows strength of character. It showed that she wouldn't give up! Even a setback, and she wouldn't give up!

My friend C... i saw her today, actually! ... i forgot she used to smoke, too. When she was my neighbor years ago she smoked and i'd go over to her porch some mornings and we'd have coffee, but i'd have to sit "up wind" of her, and we were always switching our seats! She succeeded for good when she quit the second time. She wanted to get healthier all around... had polyps on her liver that was quite a scare for a while, so she began eating lots of vegetables, losing weight, and quit smoking and drinking, too. No polyps now, either. I'm glad i'll have her around for a long while!

Deb, that two year old tantrum thing is soo true though!! lol... I want something (just like a 2 year old) and I dont get to have it so that pisses me off! But I'll get over it.

It's funny when I go through those little crying spells and it feels like I can't take it any more, and then when it's all over, I don't even know why I was upset. And how I felt just seemed so irrational and pointless. I feel perfectly fine now. This is quite the rollercoaster!

Holly, you said you have not smoked, does that mean 'ever' like you've never even had one your entire life? or just not been addicted to it?

My brother was never a smoker, infact he hates it so much. He would give my parents hell for it. But every once in awhile, when he was drinking, he would have one. It was so weird to see him smoke. And this was like once every couple of years for him!

I had my first smoke when I was 12. And I didn't do it because I thought it was cool or anything, I wanted to know why people smoke.... And I found out. It's also very true about using it as a crutch. My husband and I did that the last couple times we tried to quit. We'd deal with it on a daily basis, but we always knew that at parties, the bar, and vacations we allowed ourselves and eachother to smoke. That was our crutch. We knew that we would smoke again, so not smoking on a daily basis wasn't that difficult, because we just looked forward to that vacation, or party.

Lala, remember to breathe! Lack of oxygen is also a cause of your crying and feeling so irritated, believe it or not. Take a few minutes to breathe in and hold it, just as if you were smoking, and do this breathing for about three to five minutes. It really will help

So far so good today.... although it's not even 1pm yet!

Right now even the thought of smoking is kind of a turn off. I remember starting again after not smoking for awhile, and that first one is always awful! And then when you quit again you have to go through the emotional rollercoaster again... and that is no fun!

I'm okay through out the day for the most part, but I'm worried about when things go wrong because my first thought is "SMOKE!" I don't know how else to deal with lots of stress, or anger or sadness, normally I would just go have a smoke or two. And the other worry I have is when I'm around my friends or we are at a party - any time alcohol is involved. I know that for the time being I should avoid such situations, which I have so far, but eventually I will be in a situation here Im drinking and others are smoking, how do I not let myself give in when that's my weakness?

It's very hard to think that I will never have another smoke again. I almost can't wrap my mind around that. Never?! Ever? Not that I want to smoke right now, because I don't, but really, never?! that's seems unbelieveable.

Lala, "never" is just like right now. You don't want to smoke "right now" and before long, all those "nows" will add up to years. I promise. Really. You don't need to think of it as you will "never" have another smoke but that you will always be happy "right now" for not wanting to smoke "right now".

I quit when my husband and I bought our first house in 1979. He quit first, which made it easier for me to follow. We were so busy with all the packing and everything. pshhhew.. I never thought about having "just one" because I knew I would be hooked again. I tried that ONCE when I had quit smoking earlier, so I knew that I couldn't do that again. You are right about how BAD the first one tastes after you quit! ;( Just keep THAT in mind and keep a little pack of tic-tacs so you can have a fresh taste instead!

When you feel stressed, angry or sad, I suggest trying what I do when I feel some of those things. I have a couple of puzzle books that I take everywhere I go and play for a few minutes or a few hours, depending on my mood (or my boredoom). My latest book is Sudoku. It is so addictive! My girlfriend carries a paperback with her, but I can't just read a few paragraphs and then put it down like I can a puzzle.

Continued good luck to you, Lala, on your fight to quit the habit! It might be harder while you are moving and I know how busy you must be with all the stuff involved with that. Try to just get a cool drink of water each time your mind thinks of a 'smoke' & maybe that will help alleviate the "urge, need or temptation" for at least one "thought" or urge at a time.

Trish

I am also about to give up what I have considered to be my best friend. I started smoking at 12 and am now 46 years old. I know I will die of a smokong related cause if it isn't already too late. My dad died from lung cancer at 62 (i miss him terribly to this day and that was in 2000) and my aunt at 56, also from lung cancer. Until now, none of that has mattered. Atleast not enough to get me to quit. I am optimistic this time. I'm doing it strictly for me, not cuz someone else wants me to. I started taking Chantix 6 days ago and Thursday is my quit day. I've noticed an increase in my anxiety as time gets closer. I even had a full blown panic attack early. I don't get it. I've been through so much worse, but this has the ability to knock me to my knees. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I'm afraid if I don't succeed this time, I never will.

Sorry to hear about your dad. I know how you must still miss him. My father died in 1998 and I still miss him, too! He smoked alot growing up and then off and on the last 10 years of his life. He died of congestive heart failure, so smoking was not a good thing for him, either. Having lung cancer in your family is real reason to quit, too. Doctors say that each month, then year after you quit, your lungs begin to heal themselves, so at least you have something to look at with hope!

I tried to quit once but wasn't very successful because I was so cranky, etc. The next time I tried, I was determined so I used nicorete gum, thinking I might be "addicted" to the nicotine. I found that everytime I had a "craving" that first few weeks, I would have a piece of gum. It gave my hands something to do, as well as my mouth and I figured it was also giving ME the nicotine. The gum was so strong (and gross) that I could only chew it about 6-10 times and then I'd have to take it out. The gum really helped me break the smoking habit by giving me the pure nicotine in "gum" form and letting me see how "great" it tasted and felt. BUT...the urge to smoke was gone for that moment. I then learned to do other things like puzzles, chew regular gum, finger drum in the car when driving. It gets easier after the first week or two, but you have to learn to substitute other behaviors in place of your "habit". Drinking water each time you think of smoking is a great habit to switch to, for example.

Good Luck! It seems there are more and more people giving up smoking and health concerns are the main reason! SO...best wishes and keep us posted!

Trish

I'm sorry to hear about you father too. That must be very difficult.

Both of my parents are heavy smokers themselves. My dad cannot go an hour with out smoking it seems. He smokes about 2 or more packs a day. My mom is at about 1 sometimes more, sometimes less.

Hubby and I were invited to go to a friends place tonight, and my husband really wants to go, but they are all smokers including hubby(and they smoke inside at their house) so I don't think I'm gonna go over there tonight...

Good luck to you nadaurz, these people here have been very supportive!

alright, so hubby asked me to come along tonight and he said that even if they don't smoke outside, he will. So I went over there this evening, and to my surprise each time they wanted a smoke, they stepped outside. They didn't even talk about smoking or even use the word 'smoke' or 'cigarette'... every time they went for one they said "oh time to go watch the sun set" lol

Then I found out that hubby called them before we went over there and explained that Im on day 4 of not smoking and they all agreed to smoke outside, even though it's their house.

I had a good night. And was not tempted once (although I came prepared with lots of munchies! lol)

Lala, what a big step! Congratulations!

You know, you have plenty of people to be a good example for, too. One of our friends who had smoked for years and years quit about six months before we quit. He was an inspiration and a good role model for us. And, a good cheerleader when we quit.

Keep up the good work--that was quite an accomplishment! I was with some people about two months after I quit and they smoked inside and I did have a couple urges to smoke (to be sociable, you know!), but I was not about to start back smoking. But, the smell really got on my nerves! LOL--it even gave me a headache!

Now, I can sit right beside smokers and not want to smoke. I will think about it, but I never want to go through the withdrawal again. Or, spend all that money--LOL--I don't think I could afford to smoke now!

It's funny that you mentioned how your friend was an inspiration to you, because last night at our friends place, they told me that I inspired them to quit smoking for 4 days (because that's the day I was on!) They have a hard time going even 1 day, so 4 would be amazing for them! and they said they would make that a regular thing like every couple of months or so, stop smoking for 5 days, then the next time 6 days... and so on and so forth...


I wonder if 'thinking' about smoking, or urges to smoke will EVER go away?! Is it something that we go through for the rest of our lives, or does there come a point where we truly don't even think about it.

Anyways, today is day 5! Today was the best and easiest day of all. I wasn't cranky or even craving anything. There was only once that I felt like smoking. Im sure there will still be ups and downs with this though...

I think you will conquer.

Thank you Das.

I've made it through my first day, but still face the night. I don't sleep well on an average night and am a little leary of what's to come, but I'm determined. I've failed at so many things in my life. I really don't want this to be another. I feel sorry for my daughter. Poor thing doesn't know what to expect each time I come into a room she's in. So far "the screamon' me-me's" haven't hit but just about every other emotion has. I've been crying for no reason on the drop of a dime. It's gotten so bad, I've locked myself in my room so others don't have to deal with me. My mind is trying to convince me it's not worth all the struggle, but I refuse to give in. Well meaning friends tell me I better buck up because it's gonna get worse before it gets better. I decided I'd better stay away from them for awhile. They all smoke and I wonder if they don't atleast a little bit hope I don't quit. I'm grateful for all of you. Thanks for listening! Sue

Hey Sue! I know exactly how you are feeling. Im now on day 6 on all I can say is "UGH!" But Im gonna keep going! And I hope you do too! chew gum! it helps me lots drink water, BREATHE! Oh my goodness does that ever help! just breathing!

Yesterday was wonderful! Today... I was fine most of the day, but certain people are really getting on my nerves today.... It's funny, you don't realize you are addicted to something until you try to stop.

Isn't that the truth, Lala!

Nadaurz, good to see you! Let us know how we can help support you.

When you said you've failed at many things and don't want to fail at this... i could really relate to that. I find it helps to break a goal down into little bits and just look at the part right before you... set a goal to not smoke for the next hour. Try to get your mind off of it and congratulate yourself when you do. Lala's suggestions are good ones... they have been helping her. Each hour you go without a cigarette is a wonderful accomplishment! You are stronger than you know, and we're all pulling for you!

Nadaurz, it's true what Holly said about breaking down goals into "bite size pieces" (if that's how you wanna say it :P) I mentioned before that it's hard for me to think that I will NEVER have a smoke again for the rest of my life. I just simply cannot comprehend that for some reason, but when I sit back and say, ok Im just not having one right now and Im putting it off for another hour, another day, another week etc.. that makes it easier than thinking of it as "never smoking again"

These people here have been very helpful and all the support and suggestions have been wonderful, and I think you too will benefit from this little support group. Everyday I write my progress. I find that if Im home, and Im getting upset or angry or craving one, I will come online and write until it passes and then Im fine again.

I know you can do it!
laura

Day 7 - it's 3pm and haven't even thought about smoking. Yay me!

I hope you're doing well Nadaurez!

Hi Lala!

I find with changing some of my own habits... i'm working on eating better... that i also have to keep in mind that if I don't do what i set out to do, that I can't let that stop me from getting right back onto the program.

Dieting is different than quitting smoking in that we have to eat... I don't know if that's good or bad! But talking with people i know who quit smoking for good, many of them didn't succeed the first time they tried, and i can relate to that, because that's how it is with trying to eat better. I learned if I make a slip, it's better not to "let things go" but just get right back to eating healthier with the very next meal, and not to beat myself up about it, either. Do you think that would be the same with quitting smoking or not?

Absolutely! I was actually thinking about posting to Nadaurez about how she doesn't want quitting smoking to be another failure. I was going to tell her that even if she does slip and has a puff, or even a whole smoke, that doesn't mean she failed. She can always start over. Most everyone is going to slip at alot of things in life before they accomplish it. That's why it's a goal or whatever you want to call it. If it was so simple to eat better, or stop smoking, or anything else, then we wouldn't learn anything from it. It's very important to not beat ourselves up over our "slips". And it took me a long time to realize that myself! But, it happens. We are human. And we can always try again.

If at first you don't succeed, try try again....

Lala, I'm so proud of you!

You have almost all the nicotine out of your system by now and that's a big deal. You'll start to feel more and more free as time goes by and you realize you've beat an addiction--one of the hardest ones to beat, too. Congratulations!

You should reward yourself for making it a week-- spend the cigarette money on something cool just for you. Something relaxing would be good--manicure, massage, facial, new shoes! LOL! You deserve it.

Nadaurz, how goes it for you? If this one doesn't work, set another quit day. And another. I tried five times before the "one that took". I wish I'd tried more often though, and not waited years in between attempts.

Good Luck!

Or...

It's not how many times you fall down that matters, but how many times you pick yourself up.



Yeah, in fact i recently had a slip... a friend of mine brought a Big Mac to my door when he came over night before last, and well, i was hungry because i hadn't been making sure i ate on time (for this eating plan, you eat healthy mini-meals every three hours).. and well, i indulged by eating it... and then also i had made pizza from scratch which wasn't too bad but wasn't exactly health food either and i simply ate too much of it in a short period of time. But today i am doing better so that is good.

Beating myself up over the slip doesn't help, it just makes me feel bad, and when i feel bad, it's harder to get back up on the horse.

Day 8! It was a good day. I'm no longer feeling the physical craving for it at all. Although, the last few nights I haven't been sleeping well, not sure if quitting smoking has anything to do with it though...

There was a couple times today though while talking with a friend about her upcoming birthday where I caught myself enjoying the thought of having some drinks while smoking! eek... It's such a casual thing and I don't think I've EVER gone drinking without smoking...ever. It's just so normal to light up a smoke while you have a drink! What can I do instead of that? This is definitely the hardest thing to overcome with quitting smoking... Anyone have any suggestions?!

I went on a roadtrip to MN (about 5 hrs). Driving was hard-really hard! It ended up taking me almost 7 hours from all the times I stopped to get away from obsessing about not being able to smoke. I'm really starting to recognize my triggers. The trip home was a bit better. I accidently lit up one of my boyfriends cigarettes Friday night. A few of us were just sitting on the deck, watching the sun set across the lake. I didn't even realize it. He did and asked me what I was doing. Now I'm scared that if I don't keep it in my mind all the time, I'll do it again. I don't get it. I really want to quit, but I'm angry by the fact I want to. Does that make any sense or am I truly losing it? Other than the two drag slip, I'm beating the nicotine withdrawl. I'm worried once that's out of my system, my mind's desire to smokewill be very strong. More than once in my life, I've cut off my nose to spite my face. I'm gonna beat this! Just gotta take one day at a time and stop stressing myself over something that may never happen. I've actually been doing a lot of walking. It helps. I'm amazed at all the things I'm seeing that I never noticed before although I've seen it tons of times. Thanks for being there you guys!!!! By the way, LaLa, you're doing awesome! I really get what you're saying about the two going together. Quite possibly, that could be your strongest trigger. I wish I could help you, but I don't think at this point I could have a drink without, so I'm sticking to coffe and Dew for abit.

Hi Nadaurz, you are doing just as great as Lala! You just started a few days later, that's all.

I think sometimes you don't see how strong you are!!! Maybe you can try thinking of times in your life when you've accomplished something before, and try not to dwell on failures. We all have them, but it doesn't mean it will stop us in the end or that we aren't strong! For instance, do you know the group that has the most numbers of bankrupcies in their history, are the Fortune 500 top executives? Isn't THAT interesting! I guess it means, "If at once you don't succeed, try, try, again!"

You've already accomplished a lot, just by going this many days!!! Hang in there.

You too, Lala!!! Not sure what to tell you about the drinking... maybe Nadaurz suggestion of giving it a little longer before trying to drink without the smoking?

Congratulations Lala and Nadaurz! Every instance is a great learning experience and truly, you do get to a point where smoking is just something you used to do.

Drinking is a bit dangerous--you know, alcohol does make us less inhibited! Try my trick of cutting a drinking straw into about 4 inch pieces and chew on them, or take lollipops with you. Something like that will help with the urge to do the hand/mouth thing. Carrot sticks and celery sticks will work, too.

Nadaurz, your anger is natural. Addictions get furious when we choose to give them up. Even when we truly want to and are determined to, they are like little devils in your ear. Ignore the anger. It will go away, too.

Lala, insomnia was a problem for me during withdrawal. I used melatonin or benadryl for awhile to help me sleep. After a few weeks, I started sleeping better than I had slept in almost 30 years, and now, I rarely have trouble sleeping.

Congratulations, ladies! Keep up the good work. It's really so much easier now and soon, you'll realize you don't want to smoke at all. Such freedom! You can fly without worrying about nicotine fits, go to the library & read for hours, go to any restaurant and sit anywhere, ride in nonsmokers' cars and be comfortable--you'll be noticing so many cool things you can do!

Another thing is to tell people you have quit smoking--neither of you are "quitting" anymore, you have quit! Yeah! And ask them to help keep you from relapsing by not offering or giving you cigarettes.

Keep repeating to yourself things like "I'm a non-smoker." It might be hard to believe, but soon, it will be second nature!

I'm sure I will still have times where I think about having a smoke and times where I really want one, but when it comes down to it, I'm a non smoker! YAY!! All of you have been extremely helpful and I am ever so grateful for all of you!

*hugs*

Laura

And you heard it first here, folks!!!

Come to think of it... on average how many people who try to quit smoking get as much support and encouragement as I have here?! Honestly, I think that's what made it easier. Most people don't get that. I know that any other time I tried to quit smoking, some people would say good for you, but other than that I didn't get much support. It makes a huge difference for anyone who is serious about quitting. Surround yourself with loving, caring, supportive people and you will do just fine

I cannot thank you guys enough. Especially Holly, Deb, Barbara, Trish... everyone.. thank you.

Today I saw the dawn after the dark! I am a non-smoker. It's a bit surreal, actually! Without all of your support and encouragement this day wouldn't be happening. Being around my family this past weekend made me realize my real support system is here and my family (unfortunately) are one of my major triggers. Smokefree and enlightened, yah! Thanks, guys!!!!!!
Tomorrow is unknown, but today is a good day!

Good for you nadaurz!! We knew you'd do it! Hurrah for us!

Nadaurz, how have you been doing?!

It's been 14 days since I've had a smoke and to be honest even thinking about smoking kinda gives me a headache.

When I get frustrated I still don't know what to do, I kinda get figity when Im annoyed or upset. I haven't found something to do in place of smoking when Im upset, annoyed, frustrated etc

But generally it doesn't even enter my mind to have a smoke. Sometimes though I do feel a little out of the social loop because every one of my friends, husband, and parents all smoke so when they all go out for one, Im left by myself and that's kinda lonely. I mean, I can always go outside and talk with them and be okay not smoking, but at the same time, I just don't feel apart of the group following them when they go out for a smoke. They all say, "good for you Laura I wish I could do that but it's hard enough going an hour with out smoking so I just can't stop" Anytime Ive given them advice on how to quit and talked about the things Ive tried that have been working and give them encouragement, they just say "ya that wont work, I need to smoke" So obviously they don't have the motivation or even want to stop, so now I feel like Im just out of the loop now.

Once in awhile it pops into my head, but generally it's not even a thought.

I've screwed up the past two days and I'm really not liking myself much! I haven't started back, but I've smoked a few and want more. My boyfriend was home (works on the road) and he smokes. When he's home, his friends are around and they smoke. If they have to go outside, they'll just go to someone else's house. When my boyfriends on the road, I have very few visitors, which at this point until I move from here is fine with me. It's like a catch22 and it really sucks. I know he should be more supportive, his friends,tto, but they aren't and that's out of my control. When I decided to quit, I didn't plan to give up a five year, primarily good relationship, too. But now, I feel like I'm back at step 1 and my selfworth is about a zero! Never have I been so controlled by something. I thought getting away from an abusive relationship was hard, but this makes it feel like a cakewalk. Atleast today it does. Any suggestions for me? I'm not giving up!! I will beat this!

lala21-I was so busy feeling sorry for myself, I forgot to tell you how great you're doing!! I'm so proud of you! I look up to your strength, determination, and willpower!! You give me hope. How long did you smoke? Did you make your house smokefree or did they volunteer? Either way, you're doing great! Do you journal? Maybe when they all go out, you could jot down how it makes you feel and show them if you're comfortable doing so or everytime they go out you get to put a quarter in a secret jug for mad money. Remind yourself, it thei loss all the way around. Smoking is killing them and they cheat themselves of your company. I think it would be easier if a person had a quit buddy! Maybe we could figure something out. Keep up the good work!

Way to go, Laura. I'm sorry your family seems to be rejecting you--it's their addiction talking, you know. Same for you and your boyfriend, Nadaurz. Remember, most of us started smoking to fit in and be cool--addiction loves company, just like misery! LOL!

Nadaurz, remember that every time you smoke, you feed the addiction--the nicotine monster, so he just keeps wanting more. He only dies if you starve him. Naturally, you want to smoke when others do. I can be around smokers now and not even notice it, but when I was quitting, I would have karate chopped them and stolen their cigarette!

Just joking, but I had to isolate myself from smokers for awhile (even from ordinary people for a few days while I killed the monster) so smoking wasn't an option. I'm telling you, I was probably worse than anyone you know--I liked smoking and wasn't about to quit. I just didn't appreciate how much of that was addiction controlling me! I thought it was me!

Anyway, you both are to be commended. Nadaurz, just get back on track. Silly putty, knitting or crochet, crossword puzzles, putting cream on your cuticles can all keep your hands occuppied.

When you are upset, instead of smoking away the bad feelings, talk to them--why do you feel frustrated and what healthy things can you do to deal with the frustration? (Or whatever emotion you are dealing with.) Maybe it is journaling as Nadaurz suggested. Maybe you want to make pottery. Or garden or take up karate. Maybe you want to talk to pre-teens about not starting to smoke in the first place.

Continued good luck and mega congratulations, ladies! Quit buddies is a great idea, too, Nadaurz! You can talk to each other in the moment about finding new ways to handle things!

Hello everyone!

I know it's very hard when we "slip up" and we start beating ourselves up for it. I try to shift my focus instead to the next challenge. For me, rather than smoking the issue is being healthy and losing a little weight, so, if i gain a couple pounds now i try only to just note it, and then think of getting through the day with healthy habits. I can't afford to look back to much, it would discourage me and make me think i can't do this. It's by looking forward that i can make it work, even on those challenging days! (hm... mental note: maybe i should try to apply that to my other issues ).

You are smoking LESS, Sue. That's NOT FAILURE!!! That's a tremendous gain! You have what the young women say now, "You've got O's!!" (Short for ovaries... the female equivalent of men saying they have b_ _ _ _ s! hahahha).

Hey!!!! BOTH of you women are the FIRST in your groups to quit!!! You know what that says to me? It says you're STRONG! You're the real leaders here! You're the pioneers! So blaze your trail, ladies... OOOPS!!! HAHHAHAHA... wrong thing to say.

What i find so interesting about what the two of you are saying, is what you each are coming to understand of your challenges. You start out thinking the challenge is all about the cigarettes and the nicotine... but then other issues are uncovered. It's the same with me... food to help me sleep, food to feel special when i don't feel others make me feel special. These are some of my issues. But isn't it a good thing to discover this? It is another layer of our growth, another opportunity to learn how to be our true selves!

Let's see if we can come up with some brainstorming for each other....

Laura, what could you do each time they go out to smoke for a few minutes, that you would enjoy doing? What about meditation, yoga, knitting, um.... drawing, .... in other words, rather than looking at their smoking breaks as you are left out, what can you put in the time that will make you feel great and give you something more/

Sue... is it possible for part of your house to be smoke free? Can you find a haven within your house and ask your boyfriend not to smoke in that area? Then, perhaps, when he or his friends smoke, you could retreat to a pleasant, smoke free space? The trick, i think, would be like with Lala, not feeling like you've been left out. Perhaps you have more control and we just haven't figured out the right approach yet... if your boyfriend knows you will remove yourself from his presence when he smokes and until the room clears... do you think he might be more considerate?

One main reason why I haven't given in to smoking when I really want one, is because I don't want to feel bad about slipping up. Now I just say to myself "Ive come this far already, and if I have even one puff, I know Im going to be mad at myself and regret it"

It's amazing how much I've learned about myself during the last 2 weeks. I never thought I had problems with expressing my anger/frustration etc, but it turns out I do. I used to just go smoke, and then I'd forget about it. But now I don't smoke, so I have to deal with the situation and my feelings, and to be honest it really does feel good to deal with the problem at hand rather than lighting up a smoke and still having the issue there. I've been able to think a little more clearly about my emotions and why Im getting upset. I've also had more control the last few days with my frustration. I've been able to think it out and come to a solution without freaking out lol. It's incredible how quitting smoking is not JUST cutting out an addiction/habit, it's a lifestyle change. That's what I'm finding - that when you make one change like quitting smoking, generally you have to change other aspects of your life in order to keep the non-smoking going. You can't keep partying or be around smokers all the time if you are tryin to cut that out, so therefore you change your environment, and your habits, and you find other interests to keep you occupied. It really is a lifestyle change.

Sue, I smoked since I was 12, Im 22 now. For the first couple years it was only a few a day. And by the time I was 14 I was smoking half a pack a day. I never smoked more than a pack a day though. Usually it was between 8-12 a day, unless I was drinking and then I could EASILY smoke a full pack. Hubby and I have a smokefree house. It always has been that way. (I didn't like smoking inside and neither does he) Our friends smoke in their house though, most of them anyways.

Don't beat yourself up about having a smoke here and there... it happens, and it doesn't mean you have failed. Just because you had one or even 2 or 3 doesn't mean you can't start over again. You can do it. How long were you smoking for?

I know how it is with friends who choose convenience over spending time together. As I said before hubby and I have always had a smoke free house and our friends generally dont come to our house because they prefer to smoke inside. It's too inconvenient for them to get up and stand outside for 5 minutes. So alot of the time we go to them instead of them visiting us. They do come over, but not as much as when we were dating and hubby and his roommate smoked inside. That place they had together was party central. People were ALWAYS over there because anyone could show up, smoke, drink etc and no one cared, but now they choose to hangout at the house of those who allow smoking inside. It's a shame that people choose that over friendship.

All your suggestions are great and I will keep them all in mind

OH and hubby is now down from 10+ smokes a day to about 6 smokes a day so he is slowly making progress, and he plans on using the patch sometime in the nearish future.

This is for anyone who is trying to quit and becomes discouraged when they slip a couple times...

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That's too bad about the sleeping situation. I hope you can get some peaceful rest. Feeling depressed may also just be that you are very tired right now! I don't think you need to "fix" yourself, just be kind to yourself.

Laura, when butterflies emerge from their chrysalis, after all that work of change they've just gone through... i bet they feel a bit blah, too. They let themselves rest a bit while their wings unfold and dry, before they choose where to fly.

I have a great deal of admiration for you.

Holly, you always know the right things to say. Everytime you respond I always feel ten times better!

Finally, today and tomorrow are my days off and the only thing I HAVE to do is go to the dentist at 2. So these two days are just for me. Because I could finally sleep in today I had a better sleep. Still not perfect, but much better than the past week. I think I only woke once during the night and briefly when hubby went to work, and I got to sleep a few hours later. I think two days of relaxation and doing what I want to do, what ever that may be, will really help.

Nadaurz, how have you been doing?!

Ciao for now

Thank you Lala, i feel the same about you!

Yeah, i've been wondering where Nadaurz is, too. I hope she comes back soon... she's fun!

I'm here and starting over. I cheated so much I decided I'd better start from the beginning again or I'd never succeed. You don't fail until you quit trying right? How are you two? I'll be scarce while we paint a house, but checking in just in case. I appreciate you guys!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!

Way to rock, nadaurz!

The other night i was watching a program on the Fit channel. They often do shows where someone is trying to lose weight and they show the process of their changing their habits. This time it was a woman who worked in television, and she made a proposal to her producers that she would lose 40 pounds in 8 weeks, using the guidance of a nutritionist and a personal fitness trainer. At the end of 8 weeks, it was discovered she had gained 3 pounds!

So they, together, went over what went wrong. She was not following what was proscribed... no surprise there... but what the trainer in particular said struck me. First, he said that she had made some good gains, it just wasn't reflected on the scale. She was more fit... she had more muscles and greater endurance... and that was good and was going to help her in the future (point being, sometimes even when you don't have the visible results you were hoping for, there still are gains).

Secondly, he said, "If she had only shared with us her struggle (of binge eating at night), she could have had more support all along." He saw that as the key point in her not succeeding in 8 weeks... not speaking up... keeping her challenges secret and going without support because she was embarrassed. She did learn from this... and planned not to quit after the 8 weeks.

I thought that was a very good lesson. I can think of times when i didn't ask for help or didn't share what i was going with me because i was embarrassed! But human beings need eachother, you know? That's what we're there for... to help each other... to be a community. I help you, you help me.

When you get done painting your house, you want to come over and paint mine?

Hey,ladies, I was just checking on you and am so happy for you both!

Laura, you rock! As to the sleeping, it is your body re-learning how to function. Without the nicotine stimulating you, it's kind of confused. But, you will soon find you sleep better than ever. In the meantime, you can try melatonin. It's cheap and it works and it doesn't make you groggy like benadryl. It's also non-addictive. It was first used as a remedy for jetlag! Exercise also helps tire you out physically and so can help you sleep. (Just not too close to bedtime.)

Sue, you are awesome for getting back on the wagon! It's such an accomplishment that you are continuing now and not just giving up and forgetting about it! I so wish I'd been smart enough to do that. You will be quit before you know it.

My neighbor is going to call his doctor for Chantix. Anyone else tried it?

That is a great lesson Holly!

The last few nights I have been sleeping better. And I just realized today - even though I've kept track of the days - but it JUST HIT ME that tomorrow will be 3 weeks. 3 weeks in a blink of an eye. It really doesn't seem like it's been that long already.

hi Lala!

How are you doing, Sue? You're not hiding again, are you?

A few days ago was the first time I had an urge to smoke, but it was the social thing getting to me for a minute or two. So I just told myself, what good will having a smoke do? None. So I didn't. lol

Yeah Sue! How are things goin with you?

Anyone else trying to quit? Or have quit recently?

That was very good Lala.

I'm glad you didn't smoke, Lala. I'm still struggling along. I've been painting a house this past week. After the first day, it hurt to lift my arms, making the thought of smoking less pleasurable. I've the addiction to nicotine beat. It's the games my mind keeps playing with me that I'm having to fight constantly. I keep telling myself it'll get easier and it's worth it.

hahaha you can come paint my house!!!

I shouldn't be laughing, but you see... i'm sore too!!!! hahahah I've started doing my Total Gym again and doing super crunches... i have a little belly but doing my best. Anyway it hurts to raise my arms too and my tummy and butt hurt! Just call us the cripple sisters!

I wish i had a painted house to show for it, though... that's sweet... if i'd been smart i would have done yard work or painting, and get double-results for the effort! But noooooooooooooo, i had to be SMART... let the weeds grow and use my gym. hahahhahaha.

Well you're doing great, Sue. It will get easier... i liked that one image... can't remember who said it, was it Barbara or Laura?... about the spoiled baby crying it's demands inside your head.

What are some things you like to think about? movies? fashion? home decorating? books? travel? Let's find some things to think about.

I wish it was my house, but it's the boyfriend's mom's house. That doesn't make me feel much better. I keep thinking Karma. It's gotta pay off sooner or later.

As far as what I like to think about, I'm pretty open-minded. I like to think about things that help me make sense of and tolerate the unfairness of this world.

Well, i guess i feel there are some things i can't make sense of... but i can find things that help me tolerate unfairness.

My cat likes lying on uncomfortable things. I know that's not what you meant... but it's something that doesn't make sense to me, and he just this minute gave me an example. He jumped up on the bed to lay on top of a small book and a notebook... why? He doesn't like the pillows or duvet completely, he always likes edges of things, the more uncomfortable the better, it seems. Sometimes, for instance, he'll sleep with his front paws and head on the coffee table, and his rear end on the couch, with nothing under his middle. Or once i caught him wedged in a five inch space between a glass topped weight scale and the bathtub, and he was sleeping upside down. There are just some things in this world that are not going to make sense!

oh, to be a cat! My cat is spoiled beyond belief. A cat's life....I'd take it.

I agree. Dogs for the most part, have always been willing to work for their keep. Cats on the other hand, hahahahhahahaha! And yet... we still do things for them! How do they DO that??!!!

My boyfriend isn't too fond of cats. He doesn't trust them. Says they're up to something always, just like women. Personally, I prefer cats. They have attitude, just like women!
Ha, ha, ha!!

Yes, they make good role models for how we should treat ourselves!

How are you doing, Sue? What's new?

Not real sure how I am right now. I know I'm at a changing point in my life and I need to make some decisions if I want a part in selecting my future. Yet I keep putting the actual decisions off, even knowing they will be decided for me and not necessarily to my benefit. As a single mom the past 26 years, I had no problem making decisions and doing what had to be done. I, also, know I used to think about this day and be so excited at the thought of making a choice strictly for me. Back then I could be anything and do anything. Now the actual day is here and I'm stuck-almost lost. When it came to my kids, no problem. They were and are well worth the sacrifices. Now, when it comes to me, I choke. I don't get it. I used to think I was worth it and had earned my right to worry about me. Anyways, probably more than you wanted to hear, but thanks for asking. The old man is back on the road, so I'll be back here more than I've been the past couple weeks.

No, Sue... I did want to hear what's really going on.

I think you might be feeling overwhelmed, is all. And one way of dealing with overwhelm is taking just a little bit at a time of the big picture... sort of like doing a jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes it even helps to start with the easiest part first.

You have many strengths and abilities from being a single mom, and you have lots of experience dealing with all sorts of different things (mom = woman with expertise in a wide range of areas). This will help.

What are the decisions you have yet to make? Are they questions like, how to make a living? Whether or not to go back to school? Whether to move to a different place?

In a nutshell, I have to decide what I want to be when I grow up and then I have to grow up. I had dreams once upon a time. Now I think they were more like delusions. I do not belong in that world and have lost all desire to do so. I graduated with honors from a 4-year college in 1995, receiving a B.S. in sociology and in political science/pre-law. That fall, I started working on my masters in criminology. Six months later, I got beat up by a punk cop who had showed up at my house during a domestic. He believed I was the abuser- all 100 pounds of me. I have post-tramatic stress syndrome from previous abuse. After being tackled from behind and put into cuffs by 2 male cops, I flipped out when they continued to toss me around. End result was a beating for me by one of the cops. I was held without a phonecall or medical attention for 4 days. I couldn't walk away, so I spent the next 4 and a half years sueing them. I won, but when you measure the cost, I didn't win anything.

O.K. I just realized something. The above is an example of why I can't make any forward progress-I get lost in the past. Is this where I need to begin? I know this is where the anxiety starts, causing me to shut down. Any suggestions? Darn, I wish I could smoke-not really-well sort of!

Yes, i get lost in the past, too, sweetie.

But i wouldn't say you are not making forward progress!!!! It will get better, too.

That is awesome that you graduated with honors! I can understand your not wanting to work the same way you were when that happened. May i ask, would you have any interest in working in sociology, if you could find work that has no connection to violence?

What are your interests in general?

And what would you say are some of your show-through talents? Even small ones. For instance, i'm good at knitting, baking, art, teaching, customer service...

What are some of the things you've most enjoyed in your life?

I am relatively secure in saying I am now a non-smoker. I have made it a little over three weeks and the urges are few and far between, but they do still exist. I admit I am vulnerable, but I have no intention of putting myself through this again! How are you doing, Lala?

YAY!!!! Im sooooo proud of you! I know you would do it! That's soo awesome! Good job.

Im doing well... I get very few urges... maybe once a week really... I have to get going but will be back on later tonight!

Hey, Ladies!!! CONGRATULATIONS!! I am so proud of BOTH of you! Sue, we knew you could do it! Stay with it! Lala, you are a great inspiration! How much longer until your husband and mom stop?

Keep up the GREAT job!

Trish

My mom is saying that the day after her birthday (july 26th - thats hubbys bday too hahah they share the same birthdate!) she is not going to smoke any more. And I am trying to be encouraging but I think shes starting to feel the stress of knowing she wont smoke again so that makes her have second thoughts about wanting to quit.

Hubby is still only smoking about 5 a day, which is nothing compared to most smokers! So Im proud of him for that at least! Im not sure when he will be ready to stop completely, but he has asked me to not really talk about it, because he finds that the encouragement makes him think about it. When he decides to quit, he doesnt even want to hear the word SMOKE... so, while I think encouragement would help him, I have to respect that he doesn't want it... at least right now.

OMG THAT IS FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Where is the confetti? The tickers? The band???!!!!

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

You should see me grinning like an idiot over here! You really made my day!

This IS fantastic, isnt it?! Im soooo happy for you! And the best part is, the worst part is over! It honestly gets easier and easier from here! GO US! WOOHOOOOOO!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I quit about 18 months ago. I smoked for over 20 years, stopping several times during pregnancies and few other times. I could ALWAYS stop "cold turkey" any time I wanted-UNTIL the last time. I tried to quit for MONTHS before it actually 'took' The Nicoderm Patch really helped me get over the hump.

QUTTING SMOKING is oen of the hardest things I've ever done. BUT also one of the BEST!!

belated congrats to you, too, Avon Lady!!!!

18 months! That's a wonderful accomplishment! I have heard that after you've quit for 3 years your lungs pretty much have a new start... that you've undone a lot of the damage then... so you're halfway there already, isn't that great???

Thank you hollyelise

now I"m off to bed. I've been looking around the forums. This place is GREAT!

Anyone who conquers a nicotine addition, regardless of how, will have my eternal respect. I know it has been one of my hardest and most challenging hurdles. Everytime I turned around my own mind was betraying me and undermining my attempt. I never, never realized the extent of control smoking had on me. I vow to fight it til the end. I want my control back!

Come back soon.

I noticed hubby was wearing a patch today but he didnt tell me he was trying it... he doesnt want me to talk about it though, so today is his first day (our anniversary too) he seems fine so far

That's great!!!

sending good quitting vibes for him!!!

Hubby and I couldn't quit at the same time. BUT we were very respectful of each other. When he quit I never smoked around him. IF i was quitting he wouldn't smoke around me.

Now we're both just done and it's GREAT!!


(now to conquer the weight LOL)

I think I can understand and relate to your hubby's methods. I know in my case, I was scared I 'd fail. It's one thing to fail myself, but to have to see the disappointment in a loved one's eyes would kill me and that was too much pressure-I used it as an excuse to start back up for a week. Not only that, but everybody, although well-intended, asked me how it was going every time they saw me. I never had the chance to forget about it. When my old man went back on the road and things quieted down, I did it. I just told him yesterday. Funny, he's making quitting noises now. WOW! What an anniversary gift from your hubby!

I'm glad you told us about the asking thing... i'll try to remember that if anyone else i know quits.

Day 10 for hubby He has said that hes actually enjoying not smoking and very surprised at how easy its been... although he has been using the patch everyday so hes wondering how it will be without it but hes done soo well

That's GREAT, Lala! Is your Mother still trying? How was your trip?

Trish

Sue, how about you? Are you still hanging in there? Keep remembering the good stuff, like the smell of flowers and your skin after a shower and how healthy your lungs are getting each month that you don't smoke! Keep it up!! Best wishes!

Trish

Hey Trish and Sue..

Today was Andrews first day without the patch! It's funny because he doesn't tell me until after the fact. Like when he first went on the patch, I didn't even know. He didn't tell me until the end of the day. And then tonight he said "hey lala, look I didn't wear a patch today!" Im soo proud of him! He's done so well. He's on day 11.

Im not sure about my mom. I haven't really seen or talked to her this week very much. But I'll keep ya posted

Our trip was fantastic The place we stayed at was soo relaxing. In Tofino there is a huge strip of houses near the ocean but set back in the forest. And because Tofino is so small there isn't alot of work, but there are tons of tourists that go there all year long. Summer is just warm sunny and beautiful, but in the winter people go there for storm season. Apparently that's romantic.. not my thing but hey! lol... Anyways, so these people turn their homes into bed 'n breakfasts and that's how they bring in their income.

The owners of the place we stayed at actually built their house 10 years ago. And designed it specifcally to rent out half of it. The front part of their house is theres. And then on the right side of the house they have 3 suites they rent out. But there place is not a bed 'n breakfast. They are private suites in the house with private entrances. They all have jetted bathtubs, living room, full kitchen, washer/dryer, gas fireplace etc. And in the back yard is a common hottub and BBQ area. We had the garden suite which was the most private of them all. It's nestled in the back of the house with it's own private patio looking into a garden they are working on which is set into the forest in the back of that. And it was sooo close to the beach you could hear the waves from the ocean. (but you cant see it from the house - it was a 2 minute walk through the forest to get there)

It was sooo nice to get away and relax... but it wasn't long enough! lol...

I can't believe it's already into August now! That means I've gone... 2 months without smoking! Yay me hehe

Lala, that's GREAT! YAY, for you, indeed! 2 months is wonderful! You are definitely a NON-SMOKER now! I am so glad to hear how good your hubby is doing, too!

Your trip sounds like it was fantastic. I showed my husband all the information and told him that I would love to go there, too. Maybe some day. I am glad that you gave me more information about how they are set up and actually owned. That is pretty cool! It's a good idea, too! It would be nice to have enought money to build a big place on a desirable spot for tourists, that could have 2 or 3 rental units (or condos) that would bring in extra income. That would be divine to live in a place like that AND make money to help pay for it, too.

I'm glad that ya'll had a great time! Vacations are always TOO short. At least you have another one to look forward to in a few more months. Lucky you!!

Take care of yourself and keep up the good work with all your CLEAN AIR!

Trish

Sue, how are things working out for you? Are you still spending time on yourself? How about taking time to smell the flowers and watch the birds? Things really do seem different without cigarettes to dull our senses, don't they?

Has your boyfriend finished his job away from home yet? How much longer will he be gone?

Take care of yourself and get some rest. Do some deep breathing exercises to make your lungs feel better and remember that I am thinking of you and praying for you. God bless you, Sue!

Trish

hey ladies its been awhile so I thought Id pop in and say hello!

HEEEELLLLOOOO!!!

HUbby has officially made it over 1 month smoke free! YIPPPPEEE!!! and Im allllllmost at 4 months!!! Mom is still struggling with quitting, but I think she has cut down quite a bit so thats good

How about you Sue???

OH MY GOODNESS !!!

It can't be that long! Can it?

wait I lied... oops... I guess its 3 months coming up! hahaha but feels like I was never a smoker! lol

June 1st was my last smoke

HAHAHAHA!

No... you were PROJECTING! You WILL be a non-smoker in 4 months.

And now it's November 13th.. Ive been smoke free not even one single puff for just about 5 1/2 months!!! WOW! It feels like I was never a smoker! Sometimes I do miss it but generally it's not even a thought. It's amazing how easy it was this time.

Hubby is still not smoking either its been since our anniversary, July 22nd. So I guess that's 3 1/2 months! YAY FOR US!!!!

Any other successful non smokers here?!

Ohmigosh, Laura! I haven't seen this thread in ages. I am so very happy for you and your husband! Don't you feel like the coolest person ever! LOL

I made it to the 18 month anniversary and I can't tell you how much it helps in so many ways. I think "I quit smoking, I can do anything!"

I created a lens on squidoo about it--you know, the Great American Smokeout is coming soon, too. So, take a look at my How 2 Quit Smoking lens and let me know what you think--leave a comment at the bottom with what helped you!

I know I've become one of those horrible ex-smokers, but I just want everyone to know they can do it, too!

Congratulations again, Laura--it is a big deal and you should be proud of yourself!

Thanks Deborah!

It's amazing how after you quit your sense of taste and smell are heightened! I can hardly stand the smell of cigarettes now.. before I never noticed it but man does it stink! We have some freinds who smoke in their house and everytime we come home, we can smell it on ourselves! It's sooo awful! It's interesting too how after you quit, you sometimes feel the need to help others quit! Or you become one of those people who absolutely HATES being around it!

I've told many people.. my parents and friends included, that it really isn't that hard. I honestly think that we MAKE seem harder than it is. Granted, it isn't very pleasant, and it's NOT easy... but it's not impossible either.

I don't think you have to "be ready" ... when are you ever ready anyways? What does that mean? I LOVED smoking.. it was relaxing and it was something to do and it was a social thing... I didn't really want to give it up either, but I knew that it was the best thing to do. There's no arguing that it's not good for you... it's horrible! And I decided to care about myself. That's why I quit. I think that's where people get stuck with quitting... We plan to quit and we convince ourselves that we are ready and we pick a date but when that day rolls around we come up with excuses why one more day or one more week is ok. I don't believe we are ever "ready". We just have to care enough to stop. I plan on becoming a mother in a few years and I didn't want to have bad health and I didn't want to have my future kids exposed to that.. especially by me. And I think that my husband realized that too and saw that if I could do it, he could too.

It is wonderful what you have accomplished. How is your mom doing? I remember you told me she was going to quit also.

It felt like a great achievement when I left smoking.

Haridas, it WAS a great achievement! I felt the same way, too! It's been 28 years since I smoked.

Lala, I am so proud of you and your husband! Keep it up! I agree that the stink we carry with us after being around people who smoke, or especially in their houses, is HORRIBLE!

And, yes, we do become smoke-free freaks, trying to help others stop. My dad always said that there was nothing worse than a reformed smoker; that was after HE quit, my brother and I both stopped smoking, but then he went back. We would tell him how much it stunk and how bad they were for him, so that is what he would tell us.

But, we remained smoke free and it feels so good to say that!

Trish

Congratulations to all of you. It is, indeed, a great achievement.

Way to go ladies!!!!

Those who leave smoking consider smokers as weak in mind.

I don't consider smokers "weak in mind" haridas. I consider them addicted. Just as I was. There's a big difference.

Agree.

"My dad always said that there was nothing worse than a reformed smoker..."

Would you believe that I say that, too? And that I'm dreadfully afraid that I might become one of those sanctimonious ex-smokers, too? I have personally met a total of 2 ex-smokers who weren't obnoxious about it, one of which I just met today. I don't want to become like the majority of them.

But I am going to quit. I'm going the slow and easy way. Gradually cutting down, with no hard and fast quit date in mind. I've regressed a couple of times, but overall, I'm still making progress.

The money I spend on smokes is pretty much the last luxury left in my tight budget, and with my fiance and I both cutting down, even that is lessening. Basically, I think I need a new vice! Ice cream, anyone?

I can't wait until the day I can say I've been a non smoker for 28 years! that's incredible and Im even proud of those who go 1 day or a week without! Its a wonderful accomplishment and I think thats one thing that keeps me going, is knowing that its not just giving something up, its an accomplishment and one that will benefit me and others for the rest of my life!!!

My mom hasnt quit yet.. she's cut down a bit but hasn't kicked it yet.. she doesnt believe she can do it!

myrabeth, I hope that I don't come across as an obnoxious ex-smoker, but I do "fan" away the smoke as I walk past smokers when I am entering a smoke-free environment. One day you WILL say "That's it. I'm finished with these", and then you will quit. The first few days and weeks are hard to resist just having ONE, but if you have diversions for those few minutes, then you will ALSO be a non-smoker.

lala, every day that you don't smoke is a WONDERFUL day! And guess what? It all adds up, so don't say that you can't wait for that day to say 28 years, because it will mean that you aren't so young anymore. If you never light one cigarette and take it to your mouth, you will never smoke again. You ARE a non-smoker, girlfriend!! Good for you!

Trish

thanks Trish

Lala,

Surely an achievement.

Did my post imply I didn't think I was capable of quitting or that I found it a difficult process? I distinctly recall typing the words "easy" and "I am going to quit."

Motivational speeches that are obviously not requested, obviously not necessary, and imply I will later exchange a process for impulsive, sudden decision making when I have clearly stated I am taking it slow and have already made the decision (and progress towards my goal!) are EXACTLY the behaviors I was referring to. That thoroughly misguided pep talk was rude. You made it blatantly obvious you didn't even take the time to READ my post.

I joined this conversation because I recognized a line that sounded like my own words on a topic that is relevant to my life, because I am in the process of quitting. I did not join this conversation because I wanted to be told I would eventually throw my last-ever pack down in a tantrum and become a self righteous non-smoker. I will never be a non-smoker. I will be an ex-smoker. The difference is tolerance. An ex-smoker should be more a little more patient and understanding that everyone who quits does so in their own way, at their own pace.

I am sorry this is coming off as very snippy, and I bear you no ill will, but I was bothered enough by your post to feel compelled to respond.

Myrabeth, I think you are misreading her intention. I'm sure she was trying to be supportive and kind. I don't interpret her words the same as you are at all.

I didn't interpret it that way either..

Hey ladies.. My one year is coming up very quickly of being smoke free!!! June 1st Yay me!!!

I read the comments in this thread and realize just how passionate this subject truly is!

Congratulation lala21 - one year is quite an accomplishment. Your willpower and persistence is to be applauded!

Congratulations lala;
My girlfriend tried so hard to quite smoking, before she passed away;
I never realized smoking could have such control over some one, she was the type who lit a cigarette with a cigarette.

Quitting smoking was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do. I was hooked!!!!! One day after I awoke feeling like a truck was sitting on my chest I thought of an idea. If it helps others I am glad. There are 20 cigarettes to a pack, or at least there was. I smoked a pack and a half a day. I thought I will smoke 30 for today. 29 tomorrow, 28 the next until I got down to none. Actually when I reached one for the day I said to myself that if I only need one, why not none? As I said it was very hard and I really needed to use will power but it worked. No Nicoret back then!!!!

Good job, Ancient,
Maybe after reading your post others will try, that was a good idea that worked for you,
It truly is a hard job to stop
Congrats to you

Hi Rosie, I'm Dave!!!, Guess that's why we are all here. To help untangle the tangles inside of us.

Hi Dave how long have you been smoke free?

I quit when I was 24 and am now 61. The main reason that I quit was when my little boy put his arms around me one day and cried while he was telling me "Daddy please don't die." I guess he must have seen a commercial on tv about the downside to smoking. In any case I could not resist his plea.

Good for you,

Just had to say "Way to go, Laura!" I knew you could make it!

I celebrated 2 years on Monday (Cinco de Mayo).

Thats wonderful Deb,
Way to go girl

Lala-WOW!!! You have my utmost respect. I look up to you as a role model as I am still struggling with it. To be honest I have just failed for the 3 time this year. We both quit at the same time a year ago. Knowing you made it, gives me hope and strength. I haven't truly failed until I stop trying. What did you do to cope at times you would have smoked before quitting? It has always been an extremely stressful time in my life when I end up smoking again. My longest success was 4 months and I can't understand how after that long I'm back where I started.

Yeah to everyone!!!

I never started the habit and I guess that's lucky for me since I've been addicted to Pepsi for 40 years!

My husband still has one cigarette a day. Any suggestions for me? I tired of nagging.

Thanks for everyone's supportive over the last year. I know I haven't been online much in the last little while, but so many people here have helped me so much!

nadaurz, you haven't failed. Even getting through one day is an accomplishment! I believe in you! There are times even still that I think about smoking and have considered it but I remember how much it sucked to go through the first month or so without it. And I knew/know that if I ever have another smoke again, I will be sooo disappointed in myself! That's enough for me to ignore my cravings. I remind myself that cravings are temporary, and giving in to them will only make me feel worse.

Deb 2 years! thats exciting too

YAY ALL OF US! And many more who will quit one day

YAY TO ALL OF US!! I'm so proud of you, Lala!! I remember when you stopped last year and knew you could do it! How about your husband and MIL? I haven't been on for quite awhile either, so how is your job? Has that made it easier to quit, since you can't smoke except during breaks?

Deb, HOORAY to you, too, for 2 years! And to you, Dave (Ancientflaxman), WAY TO GO!! I quit at 26, also for my son (and myself), and now I'm 58. But you have me beat! Good for you! I love to hear about people who have so many years of non-smoking under their belts!

Sue, keep trying because one of these days you WILL be successful! Are you still living with your smoking family?

Yes, Lala, YAY TO ALL OF US! And many more who will quit this day or one soon.
___________
Trish