I was thinking while reading a few of the posts that we should have somewhere where we can celebrate our accomplishments, whatever they may be. For example, finishing a masters, finding that perfect ski run, teaching a puppy/kitten a new trick or even just doing nothing on the weekend.

That way, we can celebrate the great things about being CF.

i think that's a fantastic idea! god knows we certainly don't get much of that from society so we should create our own!

indigo

I have two bachelor's degrees and my husband just got a big promotion at work!

I just completed my first sale/installation at my the company I joined three months ago, I have two more lined up in March, and I'm about to leave for Austin Monday to secure at least one more. I'm ahead of quota, and that's a great feeling in sales. On a daily basis right now, my job is my #1 priority, as I absolutely love my job and want to grow it and my position through the stratosphere.

The only goal I have for myself this year (you could call it my resolution) is to purchase a condo, which, according to the end of my lease, has to happen by late April. In preparation for the move, I've resigned to start dumping/giving to Goodwill probably 1/3 of the "stuff" I've hoarded for 15+ years. Last night, I started on it and cleaned out my bathroom vanity. My load is now 30 lipsticks and 30 nail polishes lighter -- YAY! The big celebrations will start happening during my 2nd, 3rd and 4th sales and when I start on my *wipes brow in dread* closets. I have five closets, all stuffed full of nothing but krap.

I can sympathize with you. We both have a lot of [censored]. The problem is that we have room for it.

My friends from Michigan are going to be in the Virginia area in June for a family reunion (first time they've come down in years) so we are cleaning up the place for their arrival, since every time I've visited Michigan, I've stopped by their place, so I want to return the favor to them by having a presentable place for them.

It isn't bad, it is just the impetus to give us a definite goal for cleaning

I also had a load of rubbish sitting at home.

Then I ended up downsizing from a 2 bedroom house to a 1 bedroom flat with no storage. I moved 300 miles using only a transit van so had no choice but to be absolutely ruthless and throw a load of stuff out. It took huge amounts of sorting but I felt so good afterwards; it's like a life laundry!

For those of you getting rid of things, have you heard of Freecycle? It's a great local-area group that goes through Yahoo. How it works is you say "Offer: Nail Polish" and then write a short description (like partially used, various colors) I really dig it because not only does it keep something from going in the trash when it still may have some life left in it, but a lot of the time people on it use stuff for projects, are poor, or gather things for charities.
Also, if you need something, like say moving boxes, you can say "Wanted: moving boxes" and people would email you back about 'em if they have them.

Our local freecycle is run like a private club by a rather annoying woman. I'm one of about a dozen people I know who were rejected from joining for no reason. I do deal with cheapcycle, another similar local yahoo group, and craigslist for large things, like furniture. Everything else usually goes to goodwill. my next donation run is going to YWCA, cause there are a lot of little household things, like dishes and blankets, and just my clothes. some woman can use that stuff to start setting up a new apartment.

I have an A.A., an A.A.S., a B.A., and an M.A. Sometimes I joke that I have an B.A.A.A.A.A.S.M.A.

I did a headstand in yoga!

Isn't that an amazing feeling Frieda - the first time I did a shoulder and head stand in yoga class, I felt fantastic - I couldn't remember doing a head stand when I was 4...let alone 47...(the first head stand was 2 years ago now)
I just love Iyengar yoga...its very athletic - I'm exhausted at the end of the 90 minute class.

ha ha, Frieda, I forgot what thread this was, so your post seemed so random! It made me laugh.

The nice thing about donating to Goodwill is that they are a good employer and often hire special needs people, so it's a great group to support, although I appreciate the reminder about Freecycle! I keep forgetting about it.

Hee hee. That was the only accomplishment that came to mind. Yes, it did feel good! It surprised me that I could do it without a wall to lean on...I don't have the best balance. Instead of going to classes, I've been doing the sessions on yogatoday.com. They're an hour, not 90 min., which makes it easier for me. It's kind of boring, so 90 min. is daunting. But it's all worth it. (oh no! yoga bingo!)

Today's little accomplishments: made an awesome dinner for my sweetie, did a little cleaning, caught up on some sleep, and put up an almost gaudy collection of brightly colored prints above my desk. (I'm trying to see if more vibrant colors and lights will help with little my S.A.D. problem.) Also, I invited a friend to come over tomorrow to spend a Saturday afternoon chatting and playing board games and he's actually going to be able to make it. (This is the friend I've been trying to schedule a game day with for months, so this counts as an accomplishment!)

I have my masters degree. I have traveled in North America, Europe, and Asia. Looking to do some more travel when the budget allows!

I am impressed frieda7 with the headstand. Yoga is a pretty amazing practice!

I'm very impressed with everyone's achievements in here. I really, REALLY like being around educated and interesting people.

Bright lights and colors will help, but what tends to really help is having full-spectrum bulbs. Your skin reacts to it so it produces the chemicals you ordinarily would if you had the sun out. (you probably already knew that, but it might be helpful for those who didn't know)

I have a Bachelor's degree in German, studied for a year in Austria and Germany, and graduated a semester early. I've become a respected grant writer in my community. And I'm going back to school in the fall to become a teacher!

(currently shopping for a full spectrum lamp, actually!)

(good deal Myrabeth. )
Oh yeah, accomplishments...Well, I graduated college with a bachelor of fine arts, and work in a frame shop which means I get to see a huge variety of artwork. (unless, like this week, we're putting 15 freakin' football jerseys into metal frames with glass, a matted photo of the football player, and a plaque with their name on it that's also matted, all of which is a huge pain in the butt and is very repetitive. On the upside, I'm getting some exercise doing squats because I have to sew the jerseys onto mat board, which means I need to keep looking above and below it. )
I've managed to find a fantastic mate for myself, who, if anything, is even more appalled at how women are treated than I am. I'll stop talking about him now so I don't gush like a fool.
I took in a kitten who would have probably gone to a home where he wouldn't have been loved and cared for a fraction as much as he gets with us.
I've managed to sell some of my artsy stuff, which is always a good feeling. Artsy stuff that I KNOW I wouldn't have been able to make if I were constantly getting interrupted or always anxious, which happens whenever there's a kid around.

Grey, your post reminded me of some aspects of my life that could qualify as accomplishments.

I made a great catch when I found my man. He's a fun, intelligent friend to talk to, a responsible, hard working man, and a sweet, cuddly boyfriend. All together, he's got "good future husband" written all over him. Getting my him in my little mitts was a coup!

Our cat was a "straight off the street" rescue. We took her in when she was starving, dirty, and obviously a little messed from having been taken from her mother too soon. We mad a decent (though a bit overweight) pet out of her. Look at that face? Isn't saving something that freakin' cute an accomplishment?

Over five years ago, I suffered a serious knee injury, as many of you know. I decided to forgo physical therapy and learned to get around again on my own. It took a couple of years to stop constantly limping, but I did it! And I did it all on my own, no docs or therapists, just a lot of sweat and tears. I can even do a some ladder and stair climbing on good days,now. That's something I thought I'd never do again. The stronger I get myself and my knee, the less likely I'll have to have it replaced at an early age. So far, so good!

YAY for everyone.

I just finished my MA and have just started my PhD. I also volunteer taking care of homeless cats while they wait for a permenant home.

I can do 70 full pushups. My goal is 100.

Myrabeth, she's a lovely cat, I love it when they have "tiger stripes".
Taitinfae, I'm a total sissy when it comes to push ups! I'm wretchedly out of shape after moving away from my martial arts class.

What a great thread. OK, I'm going to blatantly show off and broadcast my achievements. This is really for the purpose of boosting myself up and also to remind myself of all the things that I did, that I couldn't have done with a "normal life". I'm not really a show-off normally.

Here's what I've managed to achieve in the last 11 years since my first husband left me for another woman (he'd been having an affair for the previous 10 months) and I had the rug completely pulled out from under me, including being left with just $4,000 to my name. (I added all that for context...)

-Had a holiday romance with a young blonde handsome Swedish man (he pursued me which boosted my confidence no end)
-Found myself a great, nurturing couple to rent a room off in the beach community I'd always dreamed of living in
-Saved $10,000 over the next year on a $48,000 salary by being frugal and creative (my ex husband had been out of control with our money) and bought myself a ticket to London.
-Gave up my secure job, landed in London, and got myself a job at a major national arts company - then completed a project which became a known case study in England
-Did some career analysis and decided I wanted to work in the Internet - got myself a great marketing role in an online music company
-Boldy turned down overtures from my ex-husband who decided he'd made a big mistake and phoned me in London. Felt vindicated.
-Travelled to the Greek Islands (had always dreamed of it) as well as to other places throughout Europe. Lay on my back floating on the Mediterannean sea under the moonlight and felt like my heart would burst from happiness.
-Met a great guy in London and eventually moved in with him - he would not let me pay rent as he was mortgage free, so I saved like CRAZY a $60K deposit and bought myself a home on an island in the Auckland harbour - another long term dream; to own a house by the sea. House doubled in value in two years and I made up for the decade in which I lost all my money to my husband.
-Through my partner became friends with the man who wrote all the ballet books I had pored over as a child!
-Got through the agony of my London partner deciding he needed to follow his heart and move back to California to live in a bhuddist community. It nearly killed me; this second loss of a partner; but I rallied - took me several years to get over it though. Now I am able to help friends experiencing similar loss because of my depth of understanding.
-Became known as an international speaker on internet marketing in the arts and spoke at conferences in Norway, LA, London,Philadelphia, San Francisco, Brisbane and Adelaide.Still pinch myself over this.
-Co-authored a book on the subject commissioned by Arts Council England
-Travelled 8 times to New York to work in my company's NY office - got to know the city I had always dreamed off and been attracted to, and made several really close friends there who I can stay with whenever I want
-Had many many travel adventures and met like minded people all over the globe (small adventures - I can be timid - I am not sporty like Pikasam, Mike E etc!)
-Put myself first and made a difficult decision to come back to New Zealand, but got myself a great job to come back to (my last job).
- (Very proud of this) - within a year had made a name for myself in NZ too (often harder in your own country) and was being invited to regularly speak at conferences.
-Got through a period of 3 months of clinical depression and learned about myself and my limits - physically, emotionally and creatively, in a way that has changed the way I live and my priorities.
-Met my DH and married him! Best achievement yet!
-Rescued Phoebe (my little cat)and turned her from being completely nervous and needy to having a great, confident life of her own.
-Sponsored a now 6-year-old girl at the Orphan Help Centre in Nepal - co-set up by a woman who lives here in Auckland, and have paid for her housing, clothing and schooling for the last 2 years (now planning a trip to visit and volunteer in the next few years).
-Co-authored another arts marketing book (published just over a year ago).
-Ran a 10.5km 1/4 marathon (having never been sporty before).

I don't think this is bad at all for one decade. To think that at times I have beaten myself up for being a "failure" - ie no family of my own. Thank goodness I have moved past this. I have to add that all this activity was TOO MUCH (hence the depression) and I would never advocate that achievements have to be things like writing books - achievements can be learning to cope with something life has thrown at you.

I now live a quieter life and consider that an achievement in itself.

O_O That was all in one DECADE?! Holy [censored], I thought that was over a lifetime! I'd be taking it easy too if I did all that! (yeah, in a grave!) You have a lot to be proud of, and I'd say mostly due to figuring more out about yourself and your limits.

Yeah, exactly!! And I am aiming for a lifestyle now where I take it much easier. I have lost my workaholic tendencies! But just shows you what's possible when there are no kids. I found that a really good exercise to write that down - especially for when people say "my life was unfulfilled before I had children" and insinuate that mine is unfulfilled too. In my case, I have left my legacy in the arts and with my young relatives and the little girl in the orphanage, I guess.

ps my ex husband went completely off the rails eventually...

Oof, well aren't you glad he flaked out in such an obvious way that you KNEW he wasn't good for ya?

Oooooh yes :-) Talk about a lucky escape!

Wow Feebee. That is an amazing series of accomplishments!! It's fascinating to read about, and a great way to put things in perspective.

I am sorry if I appear to be being self-indulgent here (not intended) but I just did an interesting exercise. I went through that list of 'accomplishments' I had posted and scratched out the ones that I couldn't have done, had I had children with my ex husband and been left as a solo Mum after he ran off. It was really fascinating. It's making me really glad for the fact that my life worked out this way. I'd love to see some of your lists too- it's very validating for the CF choice.

Here's my list and what happened to it when I imagined if I'd been a Mum when married to my ex-husband...

Had a holiday romance with a young blonde handsome Swedish man (he pursued me which boosted my confidence no end) (Would have been putting the kids first)

-Found myself a great, nurturing couple to rent a room off in the beach community I'd always dreamed of living in (couldn't have moved into that house with children)

-Saved $10,000 over the next year on a $48,000 salary by being frugal and creative (my ex husband had been out of control with our money) and bought myself a ticket to London.
(Wouldn't have saved a bean. Could not have considered going to London.Therefore all of the following are out:)

-Gave up my secure job, landed in London, and got myself a job at a major national arts company - then completed a project which became a known case study in England
-Did some career analysis and decided I wanted to work in the Internet - got myself a great marketing role in an online music company
-Travelled to the Greek Islands (had always dreamed of it) as well as to other places throughout Europe. Lay on my back floating on the Mediterannean sea under the moonlight and felt like my heart would burst from happiness.
-Met a great guy in London and eventually moved in with him - he would not let me pay rent as he was mortgage free, so I saved like CRAZY a $60K deposit and bought myself a home on an island in the Auckland harbour - another long term dream; to own a house by the sea. House doubled in value in two years and I made up for the decade in which I lost all my money to my husband.
-Through my partner became friends with the man who wrote all the ballet books I had pored over as a child!
-Got through the agony of my London partner deciding he needed to follow his heart and move back to California to live in a bhuddist community. It nearly killed me; this second loss of a partner; but I rallied - took me several years to get over it though. Now I am able to help friends experiencing similar loss because of my depth of understanding.
-Became known as an international speaker on internet marketing in the arts and spoke at conferences in Norway, LA, London,Philadelphia, San Francisco, Brisbane and Adelaide.Still pinch myself over this.
-Co-authored a book on the subject commissioned by Arts Council England
-Travelled 8 times to New York to work in my company's NY office - got to know the city I had always dreamed off and been attracted to, and made several really close friends there who I can stay with whenever I want
-Had many many travel adventures and met like minded people all over the globe (small adventures - I can be timid - I am not sporty like Pikasam, Mike E etc!)
-Put myself first and made a difficult decision to come back to New Zealand, but got myself a great job to come back to (my last job).-

...with the exception of:
-Boldly turned down overtures from my ex-husband who decided he'd made a big mistake and phoned me in London. Felt vindicated.
(Might have felt tempted to go back to him to make life easier for me and my kids...)

(Very proud of this) - within a year had made a name for myself in NZ too (often harder in your own country) and was being invited to regularly speak at conferences.
(Nope - wouldn't have had the international work experience to build this reputation and would have had to have part-time jobs to care for my kids.)

-Got through a period of 3 months of clinical depression and learned about myself and my limits - physically, emotionally and creatively, in a way that has changed the way I live and my priorities.
(Most certainly would have had worse depression as a single Mum, with the stresses and strains of it. I am prone to depression and have to be careful.)

-Met my DH and married him! Best achievement yet!
(I really doubt I would have found a man like my husband had I been a solo Mum - just wouldn't have met him and he probably wouldn't have considered a romance.)


-Rescued Phoebe (my little cat)and turned her from being completely nervous and needy to having a great, confident life of her own.
(Phoebe would have been traumatised in a house with children.)

-Sponsored a now 6-year-old girl at the Orphan Help Centre in Nepal - co-set up by a woman who lives here in Auckland, and have paid for her housing, clothing and schooling for the last 2 years (now planning a trip to visit and volunteer in the next few years).
(No way - my money would have gone on my own children.)

-Co-authored another arts marketing book (published just over a year ago).
(Forget it - co-authoring this book took every weekend for a year.)

-Ran a 10.5km 1/4 marathon (having never been sporty before).
(Maybe. There are many superwomen who can be Mums and do all this stuff. Not really me though. I know I wouldn't have been able to devote the time and brainspace necessary to train.)

Feebee, what an incredible life you have! That's amazing! I am so inspired by you! And they say that there are no heroes anymore. Feebee, if anyone every says ANYTHING to you about having children, you tell them that you gave it up to be a hero.

It's interesting that you mention depression, because if we had kids I probably would never have been able to afford the therapy that I'm getting, and it has pretty much been keeping me alive.

Also, my accomplishment today is that I cleaned the bathroom and bedroom! Yay! I've been putting it off forever.

-"Ran a 10.5km 1/4 marathon (having never been sporty before).
(Maybe. There are many superwomen who can be Mums and do all this stuff. Not really me though. I know I wouldn't have been able to devote the time and brainspace necessary to train.)"

Feebee, your posts are so inspiring (as Tress said!) I'm in awe! I just wanted to support you on this point--that some women have such stamina that they CAN accomplish an awful lot AND be Mothers AND Superwives and make it all look easy. I'm not one of those women, either, however! It took everything in me to change careers, get a teaching certificate and to squeak through my first year of teaching. If I had to look after my own children on my plate as well, I have serious doubts whether I could have devoted the time and brainspace as you say. Congratulations everyone on your accomplishments! (Raising a glass of wine to you all as a toast.)

Tress, that is very kind of you to say so. I don't really feel that I'm incredible - I just found myself on a very interesting path and grabbed opportunities while I was there. I'm lucky to do work I am passionate about. That is so nice of you to make this comment.

Well done on cleaning the bathroom and bedroom. I love that feeling. I cleaned out the pantry a few weeks ago and found stuff in there with a use-by date of 2002. I was so proud of how the pantry looked, that I actually took photos!!!It's these sorts of achievements that matter to me now.

Yes, re the depression, I wonder what would have happened to me if I had kids. I definitely think I would have had post natal depression and I think the lack of sleep would have sent me over the edge.

It has been great listing my accomplishments - I wasn't trying to boast; it was really for me. I've finally come to acceptance of being CF and it is really affirming to remind myself of the things I have done instead.

Wow, FeebeeGeebee, you are an inspiration!

If you ever come to the U.S. and visit Pittsburgh, let me know! I'd love to share a meal with you.

Julie

For the weekend: I repainted the master bedroom, rearranged all the furniture, got samples for me to ponder for the draperies I will be making, had lunch with my mother, practiced agility in the snow with my pup and completely cleaned out my closet to giv clothes to Goodwill.

I certainly do not have the want or time for children, I'm doing well enough thank you

Myrabeth: I too have SAD and was hit pretty hard with it this weekend (doesn't help that my SO has been out of town for a month). Where are you looking for lamps? I feel it would be a good investment for me too!

LastingOne, the last two weeks have been when it really kicked in for me. So far, I've been shopping around online, but a coworker told me that she found just the bulbs at Lowe's (though I haven't yet found them listed on the website). I'd prefer to just get a couple of FS bulbs. It would be much less expensive than a $60+ lamp, and I don't really need anymore lamps. (I've had too many apartments that were short on overhead lighting, so I have quite a few lamps: about one per hundred sq. ft. of living space.) I'm going to go look through the Lowe's lighting dept. sometime in the next week. I'll let you know what I learn.

Ive got a good CF accomplishment...although it's also a jab in the ribs depending on how you take it.
My accomplishment:
1- I can spend hours on the internet, enjoying my forums..without neglecting my children.


Skeeter

Go Skeeter! (me too 1)

LastingOne:
I found the FS bulbs! There will be no $60 lamps! Go to Target's light bulb aisle and look for the GE Reveal bulbs. Most of them say "enhanced spectrum" on the little rainbow graphic on the front, but a small selection has "Full Spectrum" instead. (It's small print, so look closely.) I found 40, 60, 75, and 100 watt 2 packs for about $3.50. I bought the 40 watt package and put one of them in my desk lamp as soon as I got home. I'm soaking up FS light as I type!

I'm a hardcore cheapskate, so spending $3.50 instead of $60 for essentially the same thing has given me a giddy little high. Tonight, I don't really need the bulbs! :P

Wow Feebee..what a life and so much more ahead of you!
I agree Skeeter...nice to have time to yourself..don't have to feel guilty if you want to sit and read, really enjoy your coffee or sleep!

I was thinking about my life and how different it would have been with kids...

So far: LLB, B.Comm, LLM (Forget the LLM...it was tough without kids!)
: Feeding my love of travel (much harder with kids - less time and money and often less enjoyable ie. toddler on long haul flight..I rest my case!)
: Renovating old houses (Very difficult with kids - and again, less time and money)
: Starting an antique business with my sister (her business and an interest for me) I did most of the buying at auctions after work and on weekends (with kids - impossible...with a full time job)
: Accepting promotions and overseas work. (difficult with children) I know that my job would be OUT with kids - I wouldn't be prepared to travel for 10 or so weeks every year leaving kids with a full time nanny.
: Financial Security - we have the option of early retirement. I think we'll wind back and travel more...we enjoy our jobs too much to give them away at the moment...also, the peace of mind knowing you can "look after" the people you love...(if need be) Also, being able to "treat" family and friends.
: Sponsoring a girl in Tanzania and a bear in China (ex bile bear)also, supporting WSPA, RSPCA and other animal welfare groups. We also support our old University and help fund Law & other Scholarships. So, being able to "give back"....
: Freedom & Spontaneity - to do as we please...how rare is that these days! The option of accompanying my DH when he attends a conference & vice versa...don't have to stay at home with the kids. Heading off for the weekend, attending wine tasting weekends...I could go on and on...but, I'm sure you all understand.
: Tranquility & Relaxation - our home has a wonderful "feel"...our friends and family often comment on the "feel" of our homes...in so many homes, you wouldn't even notice the snoring cat on the sofa. My nephew says, "when I come into your home, I never want to leave"...now, that's a compliment.

More recently:

On Sunday...I saw a beautiful Japanese girl - about 3 years old. Japanese children seem well behaved and respectful of parents, teachers, elders...
The 3 year old handed me a flower for no particular reason...my friend commented that she'd be lovely to have in your life. (just speaking generally)
I thought for a second...she's sweet but, "I want to go to the onsen today" and, "then to yoga class" & "lunch with my interpreter" and "visit my favorite tea house"...
No, I'll just enjoy seeing her from time to time in her parents shop.
Best of both worlds that way....
How different would my weekend have been with a 3 year old....no onsen, no yoga (without a creche or nanny)...lunch would have been shorter, at a different restaurant and probably, less enjoyable - you'd probably opt for sandwiches in the park and, the quiet teahouse - forget it!

I loved reading your list Deborah. All these amazing things that you wouldn't have done if you'd been a parent. And all the people/creatures who have benefitted by you not being a parent - your sister in her business, the little girl in Tanzanie, the bear, I know your mother gets to travel etc.



That's a real compliment. People really relax in our house too. More and more as I get older and the world gets crazier, I need my house to be a haven. Isn't it lovely when guests really enjoy your space?



This is a really important one for me. In the last month both my parents have had health issues, as you know my close friend had a stillborn baby, and now I have found out my sister is having a marriage crisis. All of these people can do with my energy, time and support right now. It feels so good being able to give it. With kids there would be no way.

Gee, thanks Julie. That would be way cool. I know I have to go to Nashville later this year (believe it or not!) which is not really much help. If I ever get to Pittsburgh, I will definitely take you up on the offer. Secretly I'm dying to meet you all. I wish we could have one big gathering! If anyone comes to NZ, I'm seriously up for a good chat and a laugh over a drink!

Hi Alison. Thanks for your lovely words. I am so not a superwoman. Actually when I wrote that list, I became amazed at what I had packed into a decade. I was really energised and determined. I'm glad I did all that. But now I am quiet and often tired. I seem to crave lots of peaceful time at home, and I resent working long hours. When I read magazine stories about these women who do all of what I've done and more AND raised three happy looking children, well, it just makes me feel really perplexed. I have learned though that people have different personalities and needs and are on different journeys. In the Jung Typology test online I am always INFJ. I need a lot of time to myself to regenerate from everything I absorb.

Thanks Feebee - I forgot to mention teaching and mentoring...I really enjoy watching my younger colleagues and others develop and succeed - again, doubt I'd have the time and energy to take on these roles, as well as a full time job, if I had children.
Also, taking chances - the decision to start my own practice...easier decision when you don't have to consider the needs of children.
I work with a few "superwomen"...they seem to have the lot BUT, many struggle with never-ending fatigue, guilt and anxiety. It seems to me that many spend their whole lives, "keeping all the balls in the air"....they can't just stop and relax.
One of my colleagues gets up at 5am so she has time to herself before the day starts...she is always fighting off colds and seems to radiate anxiety...
The difference - her male counterparts just work - albeit long hours - they have (in the main) SAHW's who take on responsibility for the children and home. HUGE DIFFERENCE...these women often, have to handle their senior jobs, the home and children and their husbands (in some cases)....It makes me tired just thinking about it - if you were handed that job description, most would say, "No thanks, sounds too tough"...

Hi...Deborah, I have to agree -- all of that sounds way too exhausting. I would run like a mad woman....ha ha.

My accomplishments include a BS degree, stable job with lots of flexibility (which I love since I'm a night owl and like to sleep in) and good income, being recently promoted, receiving a prestigious award from management for work on a special project, recently selling my home and getting moved into a smaller apartment (temporarily until I find another home to buy), learning to live life without my no good husband who left me for another woman (still lots of work to do, but I am at least making progress), and rescuing a kitten off the street. He was only 3 or 4 weeks old. He was so small, weak, and hungry when we found him. He is now spoiled rotten and very healthy. He is such a sweetheart...and very smart! I am such a sucker for animals!

Wow, that's an impressive list of accomplishments CFGal...sounds like you're really getting your life together after the break up.
My younger sister went through a similar thing - she worked with her fiancee - both vets - he left my sister for their 22-23 year old nurse - charming stuff.
It was a difficult time for my sister - she had been with this man for 12 years. She initially looked at herself - was she too ambitious? Was she too this or that? It rattled her confidence - I encouraged her to look at HIM...his personality, his conduct, his insecurities - HE was the one that felt compelled to run off with a much younger woman.
I think some men feel more comfortable with much younger women - they prefer to be the partner making more money, with more life experience - perhaps, they feel more in control, more secure, more important....who knows?
So, he preferred a girl to a woman = HIS problem.
So, at 39 she applied to all the top US vet schools/hospitals - she wanted to do a residency and become a specialist. She was older than other candidates (she doesn't look anything like her age) so, flew to the States for interviews - she got into one of the best Vet Schools in the US - she completed her final year in 2007 and is now working in Sydney.
The world is at her feet...
When something devastating happens, you often can't see anything but pain - it's too raw....but, these experiences can make you stronger in the long run and one day, you'll look back and marvel at what you've achieved...
So, keep going CFGal...with the promotion, award and new home - sounds like your new life is really taking shape.
AND, your kitten sounds gorgeous...it's a great feeling adopting an animal that no one wants...giving them a chance in life.
I tell myself that every time our tabby shreds the sofa or tears the tassels off the blinds or destroys Christmas decorations or scratches the fly wire....BUT, we love him all the same!

Wow, you are all inspiring me to get off my butt and do more with my life. Maybe after I finish reading the posts here ... and after dinner ... and maybe after a few episodes of Buffy ... :-)

Ok, I had to come back and write a new accomplishment... I got my scores for the big 4.5 hour test I had to take to even qualify for the teacher certification program, and I did well! 300 out of 300 on math, 282 on reading, 287 on writing!

And I thought I had been out of school too long to remember how to study for tests.

Although I feel like a little kid today. I'm home sick with an upper respiratory infection and told by my boss to stay home. But I'm feeling better and getting a bad case of cabin fever!

Wow! That's awesome Trish! You math whiz!

Hope you feel better soon.

Oh WOW! Nice job, Trish!

Thanks, guys! I love the support group here!

Nice JOB, Trish! Way to go!

You have quite the list of accomplishments yourself Deborah! The overseas work assignments is something I've wanted to accomplish, but haven't gotten there yet. Hopefully one day!

Thank you for sharing your sister's story. Good for her for doing so well for herself after such a tragic thing! I was with my guy for 10 years, married for 3. I also have gone through all of the "what did I do wrong" feelings and still do from time to time. However, I am lucky enough to have those as kind as you to keep reminding me not to look at myself, but instead to look at HIM.

Your cat sounds lovely too! They do like to shred the sofa and whatever else they get their little claws into don't they. But as you said...we still love them :-) I hear cutting their claws like cutting one's toe nails helps alot with that. Have yet to try it though.

Yay!! Way to go Trish!!! Go celebrate

You're right, clipping claws does help, but you still need a good scratching post for them to shed the claw husks and for stretching. (I have a sisal rope post that my kitty LOVES) I use regular human clippers on his claws, but you have to be careful to avoid the "quick" (the pink area that you can see inside the claws) else they gush blood.

My sweet DH and I will be married for 7 years in May. In that short amount of time, we have accomplished quite a bit. We both got our degrees right before we got married. We built our first house and then 3 years later completely uprooted our lives and careers. We moved half way across our state 2.5 years ago and built our 2nd home and now have 2 brand new jobs. In December of 07 we got our first dog - a sweet solid black Pekingese who we love more than anything. We have enjoyed hanging out w/ him, spoiling him, and teaching him commands and tricks. And to top everything off, this year we both turn 30. We both feel like we have accomplished a lot to get where we are today and we couldn't be happier.

Hee hee... Okay, another one for you Wii players out there. I've been sick, so I played Wii Sports for about four hours yesterday (I definitely couldn't have done that with little kids to take care of). I became a pro tennis player AND got a perfect game in bowling!

Wow, I need more projects to work on...

I just began work at a pharmaceutical company as a microbiologist. I'm the youngest scientist in the lab, only 1 of 2 women, the only African American in the entire lab, and the only CF person in the unit. I love the fact that the lab is in an uproar because I wear 4 inch heels with my lab coat. Who said a woman can't be intelligent, professional, and hot!

Lady, that is awesome! I think my BIL is getting his doctorate in microbiology. And you are like the minority in everything there! That's how I like to be. I don't like to be like everyone else ... very unique. :-)

Way to go! That's impressive. Good for you for fighting the societal idea that smart girls aren't hot!

I think it's impressive that you wear 4-inch heels, too... I can't imagine that type of agony.

Wow, talk about an individual - I love it! You sound like an amazing person Lady T - I am very inspired. So many people on the board are such independent thinkers!

Lady T, that's awesome! Reminds me of the time my company was having a health and safety meeting, and someone asked "are there any unrecorded hazards?", and one of the guys put up his hand and said "yeah, the accountant (me!) in a short skirt".

I do believe I blushed. You go, you good thing!

Thank you all for your support. And congratulations to all the CF forum members on your various accomplishments .

It's happening!!! I just threw down a contract on the most perfect condo in one of Dallas' hottest areas to live. I'm getting such a great deal -- with just me and my cat, I didn't see a reason to buy more space than a simple 1 bedroom + loft -- something I could never do with a kid.

Realizing this dream is really something special to me. I feel so proud. I'm also humbled by my close circle of friends offering advice, assistance and whatever I need. So far, I've been flying solo with my awesome realtor, but I know as negotiations progress, those friends will come in so incredibly handy.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this experience -- cross your fingers that all goes smoothly! YAY!!!

Congatulations, Angela! Woo hoo!

:::crossing fingers:::

Wow Angela, Congratulations!!!!! Imagine how good it will feel when you've moved all of your furniture etc in and are enjoying a nice glass of wine!

Oh man, I'm on cloud 9 already -- prematurely -- but screw it. At least I moved forward in a pretty significant way. It's really neat to share it with all of you.

Yay! That sounds like fun. :-)

Got Pitman's certificates in Word Processing and Data Base Entry and passed a course in office skills (which I later used while working for my dad between jobs as a receptionist).

Got my Bachellor's Degree in Education and Diploma in Teaching in Early Childhood Education.

Got into the career I initally wanted to get into - teaching, working with kids (even though I knew I didn't want to have my kids)

Became an assistant supervisor in a child care centre in New Zealand while I saved for my next accomplishment: moving to the UK to live and work. Initially planned to only spend two years there. Extended mine and my husband's visas several times despite several set backs because

Yep I got married over here. I always wanted to get married before I turned 30 - not that it matters - and I married at 29 to a GREAT guy who is really good to me.

Have travelled to: Belgium, Spain, Finland, Austria (2x) and Prague, Egypt (3x) Scotland, Wales, Singapore, USA (Las Vegas, Orlando), Italy, France and to several places in England.

Before coming to the UK I have travelled with my parents to Hawaii and Australia (several times to both) and once to America.

I have a collection of photos and some of them I just LOVE.

Thrown off the religion of my family which was stifling and depressing me and found spiritual believes more in alignment with who I really am AND gone back to being the open minded person I used to be!!

Lost 8 kilos (about 16 pounds) over the last year.

Have a few friends here and an uplifting group of people I sometimes meet with and still have a great group of friends back home.

Supported several charities in the past, hope to do so again soon.

AND passed the Life in the UK test, high school maths (yep flunked it in high school, partially due to skipping the classes cos of creepy teacher, partially cos of me) passed GCSE maths in the UK - got a private tutor. And went for and passed Qualified Teacher Status in the UK.
Without these things me and my husband would NOT be eligible for Residency in June this year - let's hope that's our NEXT accomplishment!!
Without the degree and diploma and teaching experience and maths course, I wouldn't have been able to try for
the Qualified Teacher Status program.

Hubby's achievements as an adult:

Diploma in technology.
Business manager for his father's furniture company.
Moved to the UK.
Travelled to: Ireland, England, Wales, Brunei, France, Italy, Austria, USA (Orlando) and New Zealand and also travelled around Egypt.
Currently supporting a cancer charity in Egypt.
AND passed the UK life in the Uk test despite having English as a second language!
(He head headphones to read the questions but they were in English and he did the study he needed to.)
(Without passing that he would not be able to get UK residency)
Married to me!!!!
And a fantastic husband.
Also has good friends in the UK and in Egypt as well as in several different countries and a cousin in Dubai and one in the USA (as far as travel opps go, that has GOT to count!)

Also, we both are doing quite well in our careers and working.

That's so exciting! I have always had the philosophy that I would rather live in a small place in a great area than a big house in a dull area...

When I was in high school, I had an Economics teacher that bought houses, fixed them up, and sold them for profit. Since my immediate goal was to be a homeowner, I often took notes when he spoke of this because he'd bought so many houses. He used to say, "Buy the worst house in the best neighborhood you can afford." The idea being, of course, that you can always fix up the house, but you can't fix up the neighborhood. (In other words, "Location, location, location.") The hubby and I did this. We purchased the smallest house in the neighborhood. We have a large lot, so we can always (and plan to) add on. We live close to a mall, a beautiful park and three freeways in a very safe and desireable neighborhood.

My cousin wanted a big house, so she moved an hour away. Her big house--three times the size of mine on a lot twice as big as mine--cost the same as my house when she bought it (though not when the prices climbed--mine was worth way more) but her neighborhood is not somewhere I would want to live. Her county is known for its crime and most people who live there have to drive a couple of hours in traffic to come here to work.

What Feebee said is absolutely correct. You made the right choice. I'd much rather spend money to live in a nice area in a smaller house any day. Plus, your investment will be worth more in the longrun. Looking forward to your next update.

Congratulations Angela!!! That's stupendous. Wishing you many happy times in your new abode.

My DH and I had the same realization that a smaller house in the right place would be the best. We like being outdoors the most, and dreamed of a place where the yard was bigger than the house, but the house was still nice and cozy. We found exactly what we want. Six years later and we don't miss the old bigger house. This one fits us perfectly. The person who had it before us had 2 kids, and needed to move because there weren't enough bedrooms. Lucky for us!!

DW and I had a similar situation. We had a very small townhouse but we ended up moving into a full-sized house. 1 garage, 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, 2 levels + unfinished basement, and 1/4 acre yard. No frills, just basic house. It is the smallest house (living space-wise) in the development. It would not be good for a growing family, because the living space is small (1800 ft) and the bedroom space allotment is strange for a family with kids. The master bedroom and the second bedroom are next to each other and large (abouts 20'x12')..while the 3rd bedroom is a small 10'x10' cubbyhole (which is where DW's office is). Because of the sleeping arrangements that DW and I have (we sleep in different rooms) we both have a large room that we can decorate, etc as our own personal spaces. In ways, it is the perfect house for two people who are not going to have kids! I can't imagine a more perfect house

Looking back, when we saw the plans 10+ years ago, I think that is what attracted it to us -- the other plans had one big master bedroom and two or three smaller bedrooms (you know, for the future kids that we knew we weren't going to have). I can't recall what I had for dinner two nights ago, but I can remember something about the sales person mentioning that this house is the perfect 'starter' house so you can move up later on. I think that was the subliminal implication that moving up meant 'when you had more kids, you'll need to move up because you don't have enough bedroom space'. Hah!

Needless to say, we're still there 10+ years later, and we're still happy. We got the house for $138k, before the price inflation for housing kicked in, so we aren't worried about the housing slump. I live 6 miles from my work, it is a nice neighborhood, and I'm not planning on changing jobs either. So.... we're happy together...and that is all that counts. (Why does that sound familiar? )

Woo hoo Angela! Congrats--did you find out yet if it went through? Sending you lots of good wishes

You are all a very accomplished group of individuals. I'm not quite in the same category, but here goes:

Left a strict household for another city to pursue a BA in Economics, Business Admin - Accounting diploma, and then worked on my CGA while working full-time. Had a wide variety of jobs with ever increasing pay and benefits. Quit and left the accounting field after getting burned out and took a systems job without a systems background (scary), and got promoted in just over a year. Encouraged hubby to quit his systems job (he hated the 24/7 aspect of it)and get into an accounting job with regular business hours. Total role reversal, huh?

Bought a house at age 24, and paid it off in 10 years. Found a lot we loved and built our "dream" house. Have lived there for 5 years and made it into a beautiful home. That is quite the accomplishment for me if you knew me and how much I hate shopping! Now we are searching for our next home. We can't decide what we want, but hubby does want a shorter commute time. Do we want a penthouse condo, or do we want a country house? I know, opposite sides of the spectrum. We like peace & quiet but are not DIYers and are certainly not gardeners.

My best accomplishment however was finding a supportive partner in life who encourages me to do my best and applauds me when I succeed and appreciates me on a daily basis and still lets me be myself (he's fine too!). I can't believe I recognized how wonderful my DH was even though I just got out of a relationship from hell.