On this article

I use to be JUST LIKE YOU *smirk*

I've replied to her, as have several other CF friends/acquaintances.

It's one thing to discuss the nonsense spouted by other people, but seeing it in print is infuriating. The one thing that immediately came to mind was "no wonder CFs have a hard time obtaining permanent BC. Doctors see this kind of tripe and are validated in their reasoning."

That kind of publication supports every prejudice against CFs, every bingo, and is a clear reason why we are not taken seriously.

If that silly bint is going to commit her thoughts to print, she's going to have to face answering the rebuttals.

When it comes down to it, all you can do is laugh at people that insulting...it truly comes from a place of jealousy, me thinks. She sees our peaceful lives and sees her diaper changes at 3 am and 6 am vomiting sessions and feels the need to lash out at those still asleep. If her life is so miserable that she has to write childish articles bashing a group that accepted her once before, let her...at the end of the day, I identify myself as a nursing student, city dwelling, kind person who loves dogs and traveling as well as trying and cooking new exotic foods (good and bad) and she identifies herself as...a mom...I think I win.

Well, I read the blog post, and while I find it a bit condescending, I don't think the woman meant any harm. Perhaps as the above poster stated, the author of " I used to be just like you" is coming from a place of envy. I feel at peace enough with my cfc status to read a piece like that and think to myself," as long as I don't have to live her life,she can say whatever she pleases. I do wonder though as someone who referred angrily to childbearing women as breeders in the past, if this woman had a child simply because of the " if you can't beat them join them" mentality. We'll never know, and really it doesn't matter either haha.

I've just read the article and it did make me smile.....
I was thinking of the saying 'I love me, who do you love', and reinforces the idea that women who have kids suddenly think of themselves as newly anointed saints who have become a fountain of knowledge, and 'uber' intelligent.
well, good for her if it works...but it seems to me her initial idea that she was an immature judgmental jerk still stands.

Her last comment, treating everyone who has decided to be a 'non breeder' little better than errant 5 year olds who have no concept of life and self knowledge, made me smile the most.
I, (like a lot of people who don't have children,) do not have tattoos nor have tampered in any way with my boobs ( unlike many women with kids I know
I did not say 'lalala I don't heaar you ' I just thought, ah, bless, she has no idea what other women think, and especially none about the reasons why people choose not to have kids.
It's obvious she was attention seeking when she was younger, saying she didn't want children,as a way to bring notice to herself, and it wasn't a serious thought out decision .

As you say, the biggest problem re these sort of articles, is doctors may believe others are just as immature and unsure of where their real desires in life lay. Because, hey that's what every woman NEEDS...Isn't it...:)

So she went from an arrogant hater of parents to an arrogant hater of child-free people? Now that's some progress - ha!

Ugh. People like her (the 'author' of the blog) made me so frustrated. Why not live and let live? What does it matter if you felt that way before and changed your mind? Making fun of other people's life choices doesn't make you a better person, just makes you sound like an uptight cow. Sorry, but the author of that blog just ruffles my feathers. How is the choice to not have children 'immature'? That particular statement just...wow. Her ending statement only shows her own immaturity. Just my two cents.

Once again, why is there conflict with mothers hating CF women? As many of you said, ENVY. She feels she must explain herself. Explain why she is now living a totally different lifestyle. The only way she can feel okay about it is to put down her former self- which happens to be an entire group.

Sad. Pathetic.

We as CF women don't feel we need to explain ourselves or put down women who happen to be mothers (unless they act rudely!!!)

I feel strongly on this subject. In no way shape, size or form is it immature NOT to have children!

I'd go as far to say, I wish, very much so, that people would think the decision through, spiritually.

It's not something that should "objectify" a person!

If it resonates within, by all means investigate that side of you as caretaker, over-seer, etc., but when you pigeon-hole those that do not follow suit as being irresponsible...I feel that has more to do with maybe the trials of the choice THEY made...

NOT really so much the true identiy of those that didn't make that same choice....

To quote from the blog, "I used to be a self-righteous, judgmental jerk", reading what she wrote doesn't make me think she's actually changed that part of her, she's just switched sides. She's also assuming that everyone chooses to be child-free for the same reasons that she did. I've heard lots of people say, "I used to be like you." It's usually in the context of trying to convince me to join some religious or political organization, and it never effing works because it's NOT ACTUALLY TRUE. When they say this, they are coming from a place of judgment, not empathy. She can feel sad for me all she wants - I know that I can't stop her, but I also realize that even with all of the pity and condescension in the world, she can't stop me either. ;D

Sadly I think some mothers are sorry they had their children. They have no life for themselves and are constantly in a state of stress.

This just reiterates the issue: Why does anyone care what anyone else does? Why must one judge another's choices if those choices affect only that person? If you want to have kids, go for it, and be the best mom you can be. If you don't, then don't. Granted, as humans, it's hard not to look at someone else and take a complete unbiased stance about that person's decisions, especially if those decisions don't correspond with our own choices or values. That's just human nature. But recognizing it is one thing; actually following through with the judgement and putting the other person down is another.

When I first met my husband's family, who are ALL completely focused on The Cycle of Life (almost all conversations, I've found, are focused on pregnancy, labor / birth, children, etc.), one of his sisters-in-law asked me, "Do you have children?" When I said "No," she smirked and said, "OH, then you're not a woman. You aren't REALLY a woman until you've given birth." She dismissed me from that point on. Why did she say this? At the time, I was stunned into silence. Now, I think I understand. Since then, she has left all three of her children, is living with a different guy in a different state, and no longer is in contact with her kids or my husband's family.

I don't think anyone really knows where anyone else is coming from. And sometimes, we don't even know why we ourselves are doing what we're doing. It's hard to remember that, but once we do, our anger dissipates, and all we can feel--as others have posted--is sad for those who spend their time judging everyone else.