Hi!
Haven't been here in a while...
Anyway, to start out the story, I have had the whole spectrum of Eating Disorders for about 16 years, mostly Anorexia Nervosa. Thanks to residential treatment, I am at a normal weight now, but still struggle with eating. I have basically the same thing every day, won't have certain things, make "special" meals only for myself, etc. but I am years and years better than I was before treatment.

To make a long story short, I now have two nieces, ages one-and-a-half, and almost 4. It's really the four year old that I am concerned about. She may seem young, but is smart and picks up on what her Auntie does. It's terribly apparent. A few times, while eating with her someone would ask why she didn't finish her food and she would say "Aunt Sunshine didn't finish her food"... I would usually try and finish it with her b/c I felt so bad.
She often tells me she is not pretty. She's a gorgeous child, and so is her sister! And they're both so smart! How can I make it so that they don't turn out like me? I know, I try not to have "behaviors" around them and whatnot, but it's hard...

Bjork

What a wonderful post, Bjork! How these little girls must love their Aunt Sunshine.

Are you still seeing a therapist for your eating disorders? I would start there, because this person would be well-equipped to help you make some very individual choices about your own behavior. Likewise, s/he would be able to say, "Bjork, you have a healthy outlook and are a good example for these children now!"

Yes, we want to pay attention to ourselves and live healthfully so we will be a good example to the innocents. When they are older, they will be your companions in good eating, and you will enjoy your meals together. I know this from experience. There were/are a lot of eating disorders in our family. One sister died with bulimia, one was depressed and overweight, and I was overweight for many years with severe co-morbidities. The aunts, OMG, every time these large women looked at any of us, there was a comment on our weight problems! Yes, we do want to stop all that nonsense here and now. The beauty you see in your nieces is a reflection of yourself. The love, the same.

Now I am slimming, nearly normal weight after pretty radical surgery, and it gladdens my heart that my son (who was a roly-poly pre-teen) is as attendant to his nutrition as I am to mine. We used to have our little feeding frenzies. Now, that's not even a thought.

Never give up. I think the love you have for these little girls will be just the thing to keep you moving forward with your own struggles. What a lovely thing to do for them: find the examples you want to give them, and reinforce your own healthy behavior so that you'll have a long life to spend with them.

Sounds like a win:win proposition to me.