Do know someone who is always criticizing, questioning, or judging your decisions? How about a coworker who always seems angry? While it is sometimes impossible to avoid these situations, here are a few things we can do to insulate ourselves from difficult people.

How to Deal with Difficult People

Thank you for an insightful article, Dr. Hershey.

I have learned that everyone in life has his own story. The most difficult people carry a lot of hidden pain. Being thorny is like a shield to protect them. We may never peel back the layers to find that pain, and they may never choose to face and heal it.

That is why I tell my children to be kind to everyone regardless of how they are. Kindness, patience, tolerance...forgiveness.

We all lash out in pain or otherwise react from pain from the past from time to time.

When people are difficult towards you, it really is not about you at all.

Great article that makes perfect sense. It does help to show kindness to everyone.

Good comments too, Lori. Your children have learned to have respect and compassion for others.

Thank you Lori and Debbie !! :-)

Great article.

I experienced a relationship with someone whose temper was abundant and devastating when it showed itself. One day, as I was leaving for a month or more, she became irate with me. Instead of feeling on the defensive and focusing on the words she was telling me (vicious, bridge-burning ones) I shifted my focus to the person who was using these words.

She was upset that I was leaving. It wasn't something she was prepared to deal with. All the while she was slinging hurtful things at me I kept concentrating on the person behind the words; the brain selecting which course to take.

Thank you for reminding me of that time

Thanks Leif!
While the advice is sound, it is very hard, for many, to do in practice. You described a very difficult situation. That must have been very emotional.

It wasn't very easy. I was emotional at first but once I discovered this (during the fight, sort of exciting actually) then it became easier to manage my emotions along with hers.

Afterward is a different story lol. I was way low after the fact as I no longer had the conflict to focus on and the gravity of what she had said sunk in. However, at the time, it was all I needed to do. Even preserved our relationship, for the long run were together for a long time following.