Did you know that 2.3 million Americans have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and 5.7 million people have been affected worldwide? Bipolar disorder is a brain disease characterized by shifts in a person's mood and ability to function. A treatment plan that combines medication and psychotherapy is optimal for managing the disorder over time.

Bipolar Disorder

Hello,

I have bipolar disorder.

As the doctor said, it is very difficult to diagnose and manage.

Let me give you a recent example.

I have a regime of meds that were established through the arduous process of trial and error that lasted 25 years.

Ok... fine.

I'm stable.

Well, 2 days ago my doctor recommended a B-12 shot.

I know very well that B-12 is a good thing.

However, it put me in a slight manic phase.

As is well documented, many people enjoy their manic phase because you have an incredible confidence.

Yet, over the years, I have come to understand that when my mood goes up -- it's time to take my buspar so it does not go too high.

I live in Florida, and even though the weather is gorgeous and I could not survive in another climate, I get angry and hateful of the sunshine and feel that it is lame and boring when I get sick.

Go figure.

Well, that's the latest, and in order to fix the ' good ' that B-12 did I had to have a 14-hour marathon sleep, because I have my step-daughter and step-grandbabies over for a visit and they don't need to hear or feel my hatred.

There is a lot of self-hatred and self-loathing involved.

As was stated, you feel totally worthless.

When my symptoms started in my late teens, everyone just thought I was lazy and I needed to ' snap out of it '.

I would if I could.

It's really compounded if you're a male, because males are not supposed to have ' emotional problems ' and you just tough it out.

Well, I lasted from 3 weeks to 3 months to 3 years on any sort of job outside of the family business, and then I would collapse and feel completely worthless.

I had to stay with the family business because what job would allow me to sleep for a 14-hour marathon just to get my emotions right.

It feels like a wasted life, and many times I get extremely jealous of people who had bi-polar and were able to have a career and get married young enough to have their own children.

Very Jealous.

Of people like Carrie Fisher and Richard Dreyfuss.

They have the disease and in spite of it, they've succeeded.

Me, on the other had have spent a large portion of my life in institutions.

I'm not looking for sympathy.

I'm just bitter that I could not take a disease and apply it to a career outside of my family's business.

Oh well, stuff happens.

I'm very happy and proud and glad for others like Kay Redfield Jamison.

I'm happy for the movie stars also, but I have had such creative talent when manic, but could not control it.

They could.

Life is not easy no matter how you slice it.

But, knowing I was robbed of my youth and my talent and a career and children of my own -- by an invisible disease -- is a very bitter pill to swallow.

Yet, my dad was robbed of his youth because he was born and raised in Europe just before the war came and was taken to slave labor camps.

Everyone thinks I'm looking for an excuse and an easy way out.

In fighting my illness, I very physically got into a lot of fights and ended up in jail several times.

Back to the genetic component -- my aunt had it, my mother had it, and my grandmother had it.

They just didn't know what to call it back then.

Some called it melancholy early on then toward the 1950's and '60's it was called ' nerves '.

I dunno.

I'm much better today, but for the safety of self and society at large, I have had to sequester myself and voluntarily put myself under house arrest without any external authority because I cannot behave in a proper manner.

I'm not violent, and I know the basic rules of society which I honor and obey.

I just cannot take the noise and the chaos of the outside world.

I guess I'm HSP also.

As a male you have to constantly fight off the ' passive sissy ' label.

Oh... I can fight and quite well, but that just leads to jail and does not prove anything.

Having a mental illness really sucks.

Plain and simple.

It's a very slippery slope because intrinsically society is set-up on the premise of how you can put down the other guy to out compete him or her.

So, when you believe in the put downs from your family and other members of your peer group you can get into a lot of trouble believing it.

In fact, being from a hard-working blue-collar background, I voluntarily took myself off of any sort of ' mental health ' assistance.

Tried and tried and tried.

It took me 18 years to finally comply with my meds and realized that manic did not mean maniac.

Grrr...

What a waste.

But, at least I'm not dead, incarcerated or homeless which were really strong possibilities during my torturous journey.

I've been a voracious researcher to try to heal myself and have found that time, the right meds and the right environment do much to stabilize you.

Modern medical research has also found that by the 5th decade of life, such illness subside.

It just kinda peeves me off that many luminaries have had this illness, and they were able to use it to propel them to great heights like Abraham Lincoln and JFK were suspected to have bi-polar.

Oh, well... stuff happens.

Sincerely,

Burt B.

Hi Burt. You seem to know that it's good you have tings under control, and also feel really angry that you were not able to use your illness to find great success.

I do not have bipolar, but with my other mental illnesses, I am just really grateful to be finally getting a handle on how to conduct myself, and not fall into the horrible pits of despair.

I have friends with bipolar, and I find them hard to be around when they are manic. It exhausts me.

Hi Jilly,

I'm glad that you are enjoying your trip to Florida.

I don't have much suggestion about the beaches because I'm a recluse.

I have to take about 3 or 4 buspars a day just to maintain, and I have a quiet atmosphere.

I'm glad you are aware of your triggers.

Mine usually come unannounced.

-- Burt B.

Thanks burt! I take a buspar in the morning and in the evening. When do you take yours?

30mg in the morning with my 50mg Zoloft and 800mg Neurontin.

Then, once before I eat around 11am then once after.

Then about two or three through out the afternoon.

It really takes the edge off.

After late afternoon, I don't take any then I take Seroquel before bed.

Hmm. My dose is 15mg.

Do you not take a dose after late afternoon for any reason? does it keep you awake? Maybe I take my second one too late.

Not really.

It doesn't seem to keep me awake, it just seems that afternoons are bad for me and when evening gets here, then I just don't seem to need them anymore.

Dunno if your's is keeping you up.

Might have to experiment with the times.

Did you know that Bipolar Disorder can start as early as childhood and as late as someone's 40s and 50s?

Did you know that some anti-depressant medications can cause a person with Bipolar Disorder to go into a manic phase?

Accurate diagnosis is critical. If a person is mistakenly diagnosed with Depression (not Bipolar Disorder) they could be at risk for this unwanted result from their medication.

Having a thorough face to face evaluation by a licensed mental health professional is strongly recommended.

Boy Howdy!


I don't think that the word bi-polar even existed when my odessy began in 1977!

I got T.D. (tounge stack out involutaririly) many times.

Burt,

It was called manic depressive disorder back then. It wasn't until 1980 that the term bipolar disorder was introduced.

The other reason you may have had a difficult journey is that it wasn't until around 1980 that there was a drastic change in perspective regarding mental health disorders. It was around that time that a bio-medical approach was substituted for the psychodynamic conceptualization.

You were at the beginning of some major changes.....

Indeed.

I'm glad that we are where we are now.

Collectively, each and every human being is growing on several different fronts and dimensions at the same time.

My illness pushed me head-long into many spiritual chasms and unknown dangers until I cried out to ' the universe ' and got some answers.

How well are you acquainted with:

Grof, S. & Grof, C. (Eds.) (1989). Spiritual emergency: When personal transformation becomes a crisis. Los Angeles: Tarcher.

Work concerning the DSM-IV Codes including the term Spiritual Emergency ?

Burt,
I have never heard of the term Spiritual Emergency. I will look into it.

Thank You Doctor Hershey.

My Hope is that your research will help someone in your clinical practice and also help me to have a learned mind consider the material and reflect it back to me.

Burt,
I have researched this term further.
I believe you already know this...but for me and for those following the thread.....

Spiritual Emergency is a crises when an individual may question their sense of identity, their values and may embrace mystical and spiritual experiences at this time. This usually results in fear and confusion. They may feel tremendous anxiety, have difficulty coping with their daily lives, jobs, and relationships, and may even fear for their own sanity.

This type of emergency seems to be treated and researched by a branch of psychology called Transpersonal Psychology. This branch of psychology integrates psychological concepts, theories, and methods with subject matter and practices of the spiritual disciplines.

I found a book that others (I know I am) may be interested in reading to get more detailed information. It is called Spiritual Emergency: When Personal Transformation Becomes a Crisis (New Consciousness Readers) Stanislav Grof, Christina Grof

Thank You Doctor.

This happened to me in 1983.

The unraveling and deconstruction your ego and identity is a very shattering and problematic experience.

Everything that you thought you were is shattered in a million pieces and lying on the floor.