What great parenting skills did you learn from your parents? You know, those things that worked perfectly then and now...

I'm not sure this would qualify as a skill, but I am everyday-grateful that my parents encouraged me to stand on my own two feet, to learn who I was, and to help me create a solid enough foundation and strong self-concept that I wasn't swayed by peer pressure, jumping on the wagon, or afraid to speak my mind when it was different than everyone else's.

I hope I am raising my children in the same manner.

Lisa-

That's amazing!!! That is my family mission statement, to assist my girls on their mission to self-actualization; understanding who they are (mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally), having confidence in that, knowing how to change what they do not like, and loving themselves enough to speak up and share.

Please share some of the examples that worked for you.

I just read your mission statement.

I don't think it was anything explicit. I was a bit off the beaten path but I was never discouraged and always encouraged to be who I was, to explore, etc.

Even college - all my friends went to one of two schools in two states, for the most part... I went off to a completely different state to a school where I didn't know anyone

I always had (have) the message: you are loved, you know?

Thanks for that Lisa.

I think I needed this conversation. As much as my mission statement has changed overtime, a moment like this will continue to arise that will make me tweak it again.

I realize, in this conversation, it is the tools and knowledge of their use, that I wish to give my girls. I want them to know how to research information, how and when to go within for introspection, understand what tools work to help them focus and recognize a need for change (within or without), etc.

At the end of the day, I still want them to be self-loving and confident of who they are mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially; but I cannot guarantee this.

So, as the article you referred to in daughters, suggested,I must be the role model and as your parents have done, I must always remind them that I love them and am proud of them as they make their way through it all.

Thanks again.

Yvonnie - My mom tells me she made tons of mistakes, but I don't remember them. I think building resilient children helps them to make their way through mistake, conflict, etc.

Lately, I've been hearing of all these good kids who are doing drugs.... and all I want is to raise my children so they can say no to drugs and alcohol. I want them to feel good about themSelves and not be overwhelmed with pressure to succeed or be someone important or make a ton of money.

I want them to find who they are and be that person and enjoy life, put good things in the world, and have positive impacts on the people they meet. Spread kindness.

I want them to be critical thinkers and know how to resolve conflict. I wish for them good communication skills, the comfort of being themSelves, and the ability to stand up for what they believe in.

I wish for them strong ties to their Jewish heritage and hope that that can help drive their decisions, what they do for others and for the world, and make extraordinary moments from ordinary ones.

anyone else want to join us? what is your family mission statement?

My parents didn't do too much for us. Actually, they did a LOT for us and continued to do so throughout our adult lives but I mean that they didn't micromanage us. My son expected me to enroll him in college and fill out all the paperwork for financial aid, registration, etc. What?!?!

I crippled him by doing too much for him.

Our family mission statement? We're together to offer support, encouragement, companionship and unconditional love as we learn, explore, discover and appreciate this magnificent gift and journey that is life on earth.

Didn't see that much of my father because it seems he was always off saving the world or something, so although he gave us some good examples etc. got to really know him as a adult, however my mother was there always holding the fort and the family together.

Did I appreciate what she was teaching us, even subconsciously, at the time? No not really, but when my own family came along then it clicked, and I will never be able to thank her enough.

I think this thread has turned into, what is your family's mission statement. And I love it.

Lisa & Lori, those are great.

Francine-

That's what parenting does to us. It brings in floods of childhood memories, good and bad. As children, we have one opinion and as we carry out our parenting responsibilities, we see more of what we want to adapt and what we want to avoid.

And no matter what we are doing, we do not know the effects it will actually have on our children. We just continue to do our best and hope it turns out wonderful. Having a child, like you, that later on sees how hard we have worked and expresses appreciation for that must be priceless.

A mission statement is something you can later use to measure your success. Even if they do not make the same choices you would have, did they gather what you intended for them to gather?

Good point, Francine.

We did not always know what we were gleaming from our parents - until later on.

I think the efforts to create a family mission statement - together with your children - may help them realize some of our parental efforts.

Does your family mission statement change when your children are involved in creating it?

Lisa-

Letting the kids help with the Family Mission Statement (ugh), that sounds interesting and yet I am uncertain if I could stand it (lol).

I give so much of me (and maybe they would say I am giving when they are not requiring). So, being able to come back to the mission statement and recognize that I have at least not given in vain makes me feel wonderful.

If I let them help with the mission I would feel like I am really giving the whole kitchen away.

Now that I have said that in my out loud voice, I realize that I should let them hear the mission statement and help tweak it.

Funny thing is, when they were really small we used to agree that my job was simply to keep them safe and let them explore. Wonder what they will think now.

There would probably have to be two versions of the family mission statement

My parents always talked extensively to us kids & answered all of our questions, so that is what I try to employ - taking the time to listen and answer. So hopefully when they get older they will see me as a resource and someone they can talk to. I loath to think of when they are teenagers and shut me out, although I know at some point that will probably happen, but I am trying to foster communication and exploration with them so that at least they will know I am there when needed!

Open communication is probably something most moms wish for.

Good call Carolyn.

Welcome to the Bellaonline family and discussion/forum. I love your input.

Yes! Communication is soooo important.

Listening !

I marvel at my husband - he answers their questions the same way he'd answer it if I was the one asking it - with 'big' words and detailed explanations. I think this shows our children deep Respect ! which is another important component of communication.

Thanks, Carolyn