logo
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#651897 12/27/10 11:04 AM
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
G
Newbie
OP Offline
Newbie
G
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
Should home/visiting teachers bring children with them? My home/visiting teachers are husband/wife. Every month, they come over with all their children, who are very young and they run screaming through our house for at least an hour. The messages usually last about 30 seconds and the rest of the time, we chase and talk about the children. It is very frustrating and I dread each visit. I am new to church and I don't know if this situation is the "norm." But I am getting very resentful about the whole thing. I work a lot and I do not have time to make for this ridiculous waste of time anymore. They are a very precious family but I do not enjoy the visits at all - they stress me out more than anything. Advice?

Sponsored Post Advertisement
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 144
Jellyfish
Offline
Jellyfish
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 144
Perhaps Sis. Bezas will respond with a more insightful answer but I can make a suggestion: Have a talk with your visiting teacher as well as the bishop. They would like to know how you feel because your home visits are important. And it's important to have a spiritual moment during these visits. They aren't merely social calls. Sometimes, these visits are the only spiritual moments people have during their entire months because either they are inactive or homebound.

As a new member, you are still vulnerable to so many things that could sideline your spiritual connection to the church. This is one of them. It's too easy to get both disillusioned, discouraged when you see longtime members make mistakes that shake your testimony.

If you talk to the bishop and your visiting teacher, they'll be understanding. But you must be honest! Others to confide in include the missionaries who still should be visiting you on occasion.

The only time a home/visiting teacher should bring children is when the offspring are old enough to learn from and/or enhance the purpose of the visit. At times, I had a visiting teacher who would bring her young one but he was not a distraction at all. It was a cheery time for me because I had just lost a little boy.

Please, please talk to your bishop and visiting teacher so they can make the necessary changes in your assignments. But you must be straightforward. Explain that you do not find these visits a spiritual treat and you actually dread them. Use those words so there is no confusing how strongly you feel.

The right home teacher is vital. I know. We at times have had absentee teachers during which time my husband and son ended up leaving the church. And now we have an excellent teacher who is their only lifeline to the church. He is a good representative of the Christ and he brings the Spirit with him each month.

Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
G
Newbie
OP Offline
Newbie
G
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
Thank you Lori. That is very helpful. I cannot talk to VT about it because she is the wife and is part of the problem. I don't want to talk to anyone else because I don't want it to be gossip. But I could definitely talk to our Bishop. I don't want to hurt feelings and I hate to complain, but it has gone on for too long. I really appreciate your helpful answer.

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 144
Jellyfish
Offline
Jellyfish
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 144
Oh, you know what? That's another issue. She shouldn't be your visiting teacher. It's best not to have your home and visiting teacher be a couple...in order to get different contacts, different perspectives. You might want to bring that up with the bishop as well. And don't forget the missionaries. They will be very proactive in helping to retain your membership and protect your testimony. They have meetings with all the church leaders to discuss what can be done to safeguard your family interest.

Please don't feel you'll be hurting feelings. But let me assure you that they would want to know how you feel because this is affecting how you feel about the church in general. And as a convert, you are very precious.

And I appreciate your not wanting to gossip. Discretion is vital. I learned the hard way that blessed as these people are or can be, their human natures and the way the church is organized lends to gossip in a big way. People mean well, but it's still gossip.

Last edited by Lori-LivingSimply; 12/29/10 03:12 PM.
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 351
BellaOnline Editor
Shark
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Shark
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 351
As a visiting teacher I always left my children with a friend. I wanted to be able to jump in and help with a need that I might perceive while making the visit. Sometimes I just visit and sometimes I might do the dishes depending on the situation I find and what I feel will be helpful. Hope you get it resolved so it is a good experience for you.


Launa Stout
Kids Crafts/Books


Moderated by  C.S. Bezas, LDS Editor 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Brand New Posts
Make It Sew Easier
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor - 03/27/24 04:34 PM
2024 - on this day in the past ...
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/27/24 01:31 PM
Planner Template Kit - Weekly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:39 PM
Planner Template Kit - Yearly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:37 PM
How to Use Digital Planner Template Kit
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:36 PM
Review - 20 Illustrator Color tips Helen Bradley
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:32 PM
March Equinox to June Solstice
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/26/24 12:27 PM
Hobotrader unleashes never seen opportunity with i
by Jamal molla - 03/26/24 11:55 AM
Psalm for the day
by Angie - 03/25/24 09:05 AM
Genealogy, Sort of
by Angie - 03/24/24 05:39 PM
Sponsor
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Privacy
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2022 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5