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Joined: Sep 2004
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Preteen girls love best friend books-Anne of Green Gables, Babysitters Club....and they promptly want a best friend just like that. My new article discusses girls who don't have best friends.

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How can you help a girl who longs for a best friend? I wish I knew. My daughter wants that bosom buddy concept of friendship so badly I fear she will settle for someone who is not quite that close and pour her heart into it. I really hate to see her hurt.

Do you think young girls have unrealistic expectations for friendships? I absolutely believe this. I suffered from delusions of friendships as a girl and so does my daughter. I really thought other girls had that sisterly closeness and that there was something wrong with me that I could not develop or maintain such a thing.

Do you feel that they measure their own friendships against those in books-or even against those of their mothers? Some do. All those books and movies can't be wrong about the typical girlhood friendship, right?...Or so I thought as does my daughter.

I have had the fortune of finding those friendships that I so craved as a preteen. I have explained to my daughter that it has taken over 20 years to find these people that I hold so close to my heart. They came with maturity, acceptance of others and greater appreciation for that which did not necessarily fit into my set notion of friend.

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I was lucky enough to find a girl when I was 8 at Girl Scout camp that really did become a best friend to me - and also to live next to a girl my own age that I spent a ton of time with. I keep in touch with my girl scout friend still. I think that young people think their friendships will last forever and are the center of the earth, but actually most young people change friends every year or two as they grow and move or change hobbies.

I suppose there should be more of a balance - the best friend books to know what to aim for, and the coping books that explain the reality that tends to happen in life. I suppose it's like fairy stories about princes and princesses. It's great to dream about the perfect relationship with someone you fall in love with after seeing them for 5 seconds, but it's also good to know, if you don't get that, that you're normal <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Lisa, Birding Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2004
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MM Offline OP
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Quote:
I have explained to my daughter that it has taken over 20 years to find these people that I hold so close to my heart. They came with maturity, acceptance of others and greater appreciation for that which did not necessarily fit into my set notion of friend.
This is an excellent point. When we're young, we often do have a narrow view of what a friend should be. As we grow up, we realize that while it's fun to have things in common with our friends, it's also fun to have things that are different. It helps us grow. I have many friends who did not fit what I thought I was looking for at twelve. In fact, some of the girls I thought I'd like to be friends with then wouldn't interest me at all now. I have much different standards for friendship.

A follow-up question to the original: Can and should mothers teach their daughters about the nature and nurture of female friendships? Women's friendships are much different than mens. Can we teach it, or does the maturity of our own just confuse a young girl?

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[quoting MM] A follow-up question to the original: Can and should mothers teach their daughters about the nature and nurture of female friendships? Women's friendships are much different than mens. Can we teach it, or does the maturity of our own just confuse a young girl?

I'm actually not sure if it can be taught. I would think that it can be demonstrated by example. If your daughter sees a freind that has been with you through thick and thin, maybe she will realize that those are the kind of friends that you want to have in your life. It should also be noted that just because you are friends with someone does not mean that you approve of everything that they do. I was really disheartned to hear that my daughter isn't allowed to play with black children when she is at her mother's house in Germany and that she has been told that she needs to have an all white family (I am black and raised her from the age of 3 to 7).


Two roads diverged in a wood, and I� I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
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Hello Friends!!
�
I would like to present a few thoughts and ideas to you that could bring greater harmony between people of various religious backgrounds. In the past contentions between these people have caused confusion and sometimes enmity. Would it not be an advantage to eliminate these religious difficulties. The world could be so much more peaceful if this were to occur.

At one time in history Abraham was considered a Messenger or Manifestation of God. At that time the population of the world was vary different. Cities were few and far apart. There was ample space for all without crowding. Transportation was very slow compared to today. After the passage of time Moses was known as a Messenger or Manifestation of God. Those who believed in Moses accepted Abraham as a Messenger of God. Further along in history Christ became known as the Son of God. The Christians accepted both Moses and Abraham as Messengers of God. For me it is peculiar that the Jews do not accept Christ as a Messenger of God and keep their ancient rituals. Next, Muhammad was accepted by many as a Messenger or Manifestation of God. Muhammad is known for subduing the wild Arab tribes who continually warred against each other, stealing women, robbing caravans and burying girl children alive. Again it is strange for me that neither the Jews nor the Christians accept Muhammad as a Messenger of God for His accomplishments. Then in the year 1844 a Messenger known as the Bab or Gate announced in Persia that soon another Manifestation of God would appear. True to His prediction a Manifestation of God, Baha�u�llah, announced His mission in the year 1863. Shortly after Baha�u�llah�s announcement the world populous began to marvel at the rate in which modern tools, new and efficient processing procedures and new modes of transportation, including aircraft, began to appear and make our lives easier.

Let us accept for the present that what I have said is the truth of the matter.

Unfortunately, instead of the populous accepting the various Manifestations of God, the followers of these Manifestations began debating who was the most righteous of all these Manifestations. Today the Jews reject Christ and Muhammad, the Christians accept Jews and the Manifestations before the advent of Moses but do not authenticate the advent of Muhammad. The Arabs accept Christ and the Prophets before Christ but do not accept Baha�u�llah. In addition the Arabs are now quarreling with the Jews. Are any of these contentions of use to the world we live in? I believe not and hope you agree.

There were great differences of thought and action in past epochs. In earlier times the marriage of a son to his mother was condoned by religion. At another time a brother could marry his sister. Later the marriage of a son to his mother was forbidden, as was the marriage of a brother to his sister. The rules had changed as a series of Prophets altered the religious concepts in pace with the circumstances of the world such as the low populations that existed worldwide sometimes due to deaths caused by little understood sicknesses and diseases. Scientific knowledge confirmed the changes made by these Prophets and uncovered information concerning how people should live in accordance with the times and avoid weaknesses and disease. That is why we do not marry our mothers or sisters today.

History tells us that after the appearance of a Manifestation or Messenger of God great changes took place in the lives of world inhabitants. The news of the appearance of a new Manifestation of God lent impetus to the spread of the teachings of the new Manifestation. The peoples of the world became more civilized. The raw nature of man became increasingly more humane. Great houses of worship and cities were built in honor of the New Manifestation. Great leaps of advancement in the sciences and arts took place. The harsh punishments of the past were softened by the words of the New Prophet. During the period of the Crusades, why did the Christians, who were living in Europe during the Dark Ages, attack the Muslims in their homes when the people of other nations were eagerly seeking enlightenment in Muslim schools? Algebra, so useful today, was invented by Arabs. Before the start of the Crusades, Europe was locked in the Dark Ages. After the Crusades Europe emerged from the Dark Ages into the Age of the Renaissance. When the Christian Crusaders arrived for battle in Muslim territory they saw lighted streets and other amenities of life that were absent in Europe, they brought the news back to Europe and the Renaissance began in Europe. Check the History books for the dates of the Crusades and the date when the European Renaissance began. The belligerence of the Christians was contrary to the teachings of Christ Who advocated meekness and condemned violence. The dates of these occurrences may be found in history books. From these dates it seems evident the Renaissance in Europe was sparked by what the Crusaders saw in the territories of the Muslims. It was the Muslim sciences and arts that dispelled the Dark Ages in Europe. The Christians have never acknowledged this Source of the Renaissance.
�
Recently, great changes in our world have taken place. Two hundred years ago human transportation depended primarily on beasts of burden such as horses, donkeys, mules, camels, oxen and the like. We were traveling in the dust. After a very short passage of time � 161 years � we are now racing through the atmosphere and space, transporting people and cargo in rockets and aircraft, living in satellites that circle earth, taking pictures on distant planets. Miracles!! Where is the Manifestation of God who has provoked such scientific advancement? God�s Manifestations surely triggered the great advancements of the past. Did Abraham, Moses, Christ or Muhammad return to spark these fantastic happenings of today? Some say Joseph Smith was a Manifestation, but he was a follower of Christ. Have any of the previous Manifestations of God ever returned to this planet after their Ascension? Not to my knowledge! God has His own way of doing things. Our fantasies are no match for His Wisdom. However, many times it is our fanatical loyalty to tradition or our �comfort zone� that blinds us to the Will of God. We seem to be afraid to accept a new Manifestation of God. We have no control over our Supreme Creator. He does what He pleases. He has never sent a Prophet with the same name back to this earth during thousands of years. On the other hand God has sent, from time to time, Messengers with updated information to guide us during the periods in which humans have lived.
�
Within all of the books written or dictated by the Manifestations of God I have never read or heard that humans ever had the leave of God to add or detracting from the Holy Writings. Pardon me for saying so but a survey to determine the preference of any human being for one religion or another could not be a basis for choosing which Faith to follow because it would leave the choice to a human being. God has never given us a choice of Who will appear as a Manifestation of Himself nor has He given us leave to accept or reject any part of any Holy Book of the past or of the future.

Thought #3: History tells us that after the appearance of a Manifestation or Messenger of God great changes took place in the lives of world inhabitants. The news of the appearance of a new Manifestation of God lent impetus to the spread of the teachings of the new Manifestation. The peoples of the world became more civilized. The raw nature of man became increasingly more humane. Great houses of worship and cities were built in honor of the New Manifestation. Great leaps of advancement in the sciences and arts took place. The harsh punishments of the past were softened by the words of the New Prophet. During the period of the Crusades, why did the Christians, who were living in Europe during the Dark Ages, attack the Muslims in their homes when the people of other nations were eagerly seeking enlightenment in Muslim schools? Our Algebra stems from Arabic. Before the start of the Crusades, Europe was locked in the Dark Ages. After the Crusades Europe emerged from the Dark Ages into the Age of the Renaissance. When the Crusaders arrived in Muslim territory and saw lighted streets and other amenities of life that were absent in Europe, they brought the news back to Europe and the Renaissance began in Europe. Check the History books for the dates of the Crusades and the date when the European Renaissance began. The dates of these occurrences may be found in history books. From these dates it seems evident the Renaissance in Europe was sparked by what the Crusaders saw in the territories of the Muslims. It was the Muslim sciences and arts that dispelled the Dark Ages in Europe. The Christians have never acknowledged this Source of the Renaissance.
�
Thought #4: Recently, great changes in our world have taken place. Two hundred years ago human transportation depended primarily on beasts of burden such as horses, donkeys, mules, camels, oxen and the like. We were traveling in the dust. After a very short passage of time � 161 years � we are now racing through the atmosphere and space in jet aircraft, transporting people and cargo in rockets, living in satellites that circle earth, taking pictures on distant planets. Miracles!! Where is the Manifestation of God who has provoked such scientific advancement? God�s Manifestations surely triggered the great advancements of the past. Did Abraham, Moses, and Christ or Muhammad return to spark these fantastic happenings of today? Some say Joseph Smith was a Manifestation, but he was a follower of Christ. Have any of the previous Manifestations of God ever returned to this planet after their Ascension? Not to my knowledge! God has His own way of doing things. Our fantasies are no match for His Wisdom. However, many times it is our fanatical loyalty to tradition or our �comfort zone� that blinds us to the Will of God. We seem to be afraid to accept a new Manifestation of God. We have no control over our Supreme Creator. He does what He pleases. He has never sent a Prophet with the same name back to this earth during thousands of years. On the other hand God has sent, from time to time, Messengers with updated information to guide us during the periods in which humans have lived.
�
Within all of the books written or dictated by the Manifestations of God I have never read or heard that humans ever had a say in adding to or detracting from the Holy Writings. Pardon me for saying so but a survey to determine the preference of any human being for one religion or another could not be a basis for choosing which Faith to follow because it would leave the choice to a human being. God has never given us a choice of Who will appear as a Manifestation of Himself nor has He given us leave to accept or reject any part of any Holy Book of the past or of the future.

�
Send us email at ljbeinc@msn.com
�
World Unity Advocates



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