BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence To all the women that need Help

I was beaten, for years and i couldn't take it anymore so i left. I moved away, and stated my life over. I am telling you this because there is hope and light on the other side of the bridge. My ex was trying to come to my home and i filed a restraining order on him. But still did not stop him from coming over. I heard through a friend of mine about a Security system that has free installation, and gives you all kinds of free stuff for security. I was able to sleep better and also when he came to my home he was on camera, and the police were instantly notified. I recommend it for all you women that are starting over. Message me if you need the info for that. Now life can never be better for me, i have long forgotten about him and have moved on with me new husband and now we have 2 kids. Please contact me if you have any questions or need advice.

It's a nice thought...

BuUUuut, the reality is, especially if you've the type of D.A.
(Domestic Abuser) that cyber-stalks, has relentless control issues, cameras might help? But first, they'll disable them or have someone do it for them.

secondly, abused women can have little resources at times, so tend to blurt, "I'll call the cops" or "Next time you...it'll be on camera." Hoping it'll detour the agressor. It just makes it more of the "hunt/challenge."

So, the key is mum's the word. DON'T tell them where you live, change emails, passwords, don't confide in their mutual friends, etc. Get a paper trail going and don't announce it as a threat. Keep 'em in the dark.

Mine would(key-count take or break my cell). Have more than one. 1 out in the open, the others, never tell, collect tiny bits of cash, recycle cans if you have to and a get-out-and-go bag.

If you have a trustable neighbor...rare, but if you do, let them know what's going on, don't abuse their refuge, but make a signal for them to call 9-11 when he's there and you're in trouble.

Hope this helps someon else out there.

Well the good thing about the cameras is that its cloud based meaning you cant disable them, you cant cut the wire or you cant steal the video. Everything is recorded in the cloud and sent directly to The police stations. Also once the system is activated the systems have a 2 way radio and the central station can hear everything that is going on in the home, so the police stations can know exactly whats going on. I know for me it gave me security when i needed it and allowed me to clear my mind and heal. Im sorry to hear about your situation, but at the end of the day you and i are only trying to help. Hope all is well

Maybe? As far as "Helping." It's a broad term these days, especially on the net.

My situation? Is no more.

What I did:

Persitance, not going back, flip/flopping during the "honeymoon stage" or during the "lonely/holiday" periods (which can be especially difficult).

Keeping a file with police records (um... depending on the zip code you're in, some or all files will "mysteriously" disappear. Thus, hospital photos are doable, but if YOU don't have the paper trail and the word "CLOUD" somehow bothers me with this...haven't put my finger on it, almost like a commercial.

The judge isn't just in general going to have a box of popcorn, put his or her feet up and want to watch, whatever cloud you happen to be hanging on on that day and anything can be deleted unfortunately.

Get it on paper and official and in your control! I'd also keep a journal entry of the days/months and what happened. There will be gaps and questions will be asked how the event became to be. Most abusers know not to leave marks or kick a door down.