BellaOnline Forums Career Fiction Writing Descriptions

I am not sure if this topic has been already discussed or not, or if an article has been done on it yet or not, so I am going to ask it here.

Is there such a thing as too much description in a novel? Is there such a thing as overkill in describing how something looks or what somebody is doing?

Let me try to give an example:

Tom got up from his bed and went downstairs to have breakfast. He made fried eggs, bacon and toast. He poured himself a glass of juice and a glass of water. He ate only a portion of the eggs, a couple of pieces of bacon and all of the toast. He scraped the remainder of his plate into the garbage and then put the plate in the sink. He then finished his juice and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he was done, he left the house for work.

or would it be better to say: Tom got up from bed, went into the kitchen to have some breakfast and then brushed his teeth before going to work.

It may not be a great example but hopefully you can understand what I mean.

How much is too much?

Amadeus, this is such an interesting question! I'm no expert, but I'd love to try to answer.

For me, the less description the better because the readers' imagination is going to do a faster and better job of it anyway. So you need to suggest just enough to get the readers' imagination going. In my opinion, a lot of writers overdo description especially when describing physical characteristics of their characters: big blue eyes! Wavy golden hair!

In your great example of the breakfast scene, I'd say that there was definitely too much description. In fact, I think there was too much in your second example, too, and would skip completely over him getting up, having breakfast, and brushing his teeth. I'd open the scene with him at work, or wherever the next significant piece of action happens.

But -- I liked the part about him eating only part of the eggs and bacon, and all of the toast. If there are details that tell you something about him as person or are quirky/strange, then they should be included.

Did he feel guilty about eggs and bacon and have to force himself to stop eating though he craved them? Did he remember his dad who keeled over from a massive coronary while playing golf in a five-star resort in Hawaii? Did he eat all of the toast unconsciously because it reminded him of his mom's comfort food in childhood?

I mean, you don't have to go into all of that if you don't want to. But you could have him pick at the eggs, and then cram the toast completely in his mouth as he's running out the door to work (forgetting to brush his teeth, I guess). It will get the imagination working on the reasons for his eating habits, and make him a vivid character.

Hope this helps!

I agree with Karm's points absolutely. I'm working on an article on description for you.

Thanks Ladies,

I appreciate it. Karm, your reasoning for not eating the eggs were great. I never thought about it like that. I guess if that was part of a story I was writing, I would be thinking that he didn't finish his eggs because he wasn't really all that hungry. lol. (Oh me and my little imagination. lol.)

Looking forward to the article Elle.

I also posted my first article on the wrestling website that I am in training to be the editor for. Be sure to check it out when you have a chance.

Hey! You're joining us! Congratulations Amadeus

Oh yes, I am. I am going to be the new editor for the wrestling site here at Bella and thank you very much.

Believe it or not, I've drafted not one but three articles on description. The first two are loaded into the site and the third I'll work on at a later stage.

I started with physical description of characters for this week, and you can also preview my discussion of Amadeus's example above, which will go live next week.

GREAT articles, Elle! You said it way better than I could have. I'm always learning things at your site! I had figured out over the years (from a reader's viewpoint) that physical description slowed the pace because I could imagine things much faster.

But I'd never realized the point that you made so succinctly: important characters should have the least physical description. I read that in your article and I immediately thought about Raskolnikov in Crime and Punishment. I mean, from what I remember, he was young (a student) and had dark hair. And that's all we knew!

I remember my college creative writing classes. These goofy scenes would always come up (from me as well as the others!) where the main character walks down the street and starts checking himself out in a reflecting window, tallying up his complete physical description! If we'd known enough to have made him a narcissist, then I guess it might have worked.

In the second article, I loved how you worked the breakfast preparation action into the dialogue. That helps the reader keep the characters straight, and it helps to "see" the scene better.

Great job! I'm looking forward to the third article ...

Okay, I was wrong about Raskolnikov:

" ... An expression of the deepest loathing flashed for a moment across his sensitive face. He was, incidentally, a remarkably good-looking young man, above average in height, slender and well built, with beautiful dark eyes and darkish blond hair ..."

(Crime and Punishment, p.2, Dostoevsky, trans. Sidney Monas)

But, still! Nowadays your point about physical description is right on target.

Ah, but you see, as a reader you skipped that description...

Dostoyevsky's development of Raskolnikov's internal psychology was what really made that book brilliant. I still use it as a benchmark for characters who go slowly insane.

Many of the earlier centuries' writers were fond of lengthy description (can you say purple prose?). Conrad's Heart of Darkness drove me crazy with its shades of lilac, lavender, mauve, and a dash of crimson for good measure.

Thanks for your comments, too. I'm glad you're finding my articles helpful