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#329385 07/17/07 05:05 PM
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lala21 Offline OP
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Do you think the idea of "bestfriends" only exists with children and into teens? Or is this something adults can develope too?

As a child I had many "best friends" over the years. And while I am still in touch with some of them... we don't consider eachother "best friends"

I guess the idea of best friends is that its someone (or a small group of friends) that you spend most of your time with, people who trust with anything, people who you can rely on and who can rely on you. Usually (not always) its the same sex as you. You know what I mean, for girls, its the best friend who you get your hair done with every month and do your nails with all the time and do all those girls things with. For guys, they generally bond through sports or video games etc. Someone to share inside jokes with. Someone you do vacations with, and can talk about your probelms with, and someone who you consider family because they are so close.

I just dont have that anymore with any of my friends and I was just wondering if its something that kinda goes away the older we get, or maybe its just because I havent come across my "adult bestfriend" lol.. it sounds so silly!

I've made some friends since I've had a "bestfriend" lol.. but none of them have turned into that really close friendship. They are just kind of very casual, see eachother on occassion kind of friendship. I dont have many friends I chat with on the phone anymore - not often anyway. People dont think to invite me out - Im just lacking that whole close female friendship bonding thing. I hope you guys know what Im talking about.

My husband is ultimately my bestfriend. But the kind of best friend Im talking about is someone I would consider my "sister"... I used to have that with a few girls over the years, but all of that went away, and Im not sure why. Now its difficult to find that close of a friendship with new people. How do these "close sisterly" friendships form??


Last edited by lala21; 07/17/07 05:08 PM.
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lala21 #329393 07/17/07 05:31 PM
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lala, I'm in the same boat. Growing up, I had quite a few best friends of both sexes. Now, though my fiance is my closest companion, and (as you put it so well) "ultimately my best friend," I'm lacking in a close friend outside my home. Most of my close friends have moved out of state. The rest I have grown apart from until we are little more than casual acquaintances.

I don't know the answer to your question. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone in this. I wish I had a best friend to hang out with, too.

I sometimes wonder if that sisterly bond can be formed in adulthood. Maybe that has to start young? I don't know...


Happily Living The Childfree Life!
M.B. #329396 07/17/07 05:59 PM
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lala21 Offline OP
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Thanks Myrabeth! Im glad Im not alone on this one! lol.. maybe we can be bestfriends!! hahaha

It kind of makes me feel alone though. Even though I have my husband and a few casual acquaintances and my family.. I just really miss have that close sisterly bond with another female!

lala21 #337667 08/31/07 11:25 PM
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Lala and Marybeth...just wanted to let you two know that you aren't alone. I actually have a best friend. We met our first year of college and have been like sisters ever since. However, we live in completely different states now. So, I only see her about three or four times a year. We mostly email throughout the year. Even though she is like a sister and I most certainly consider her part of my family, I feel sort of "cheated" since we can't hang out and do "girl stuff" together. And I still wish I could find someone to be close to at least in the same state! And I find that I have the hardest time ever having anything to talk to other women about now. Most women my age are having babies or have had a baby and I, well I have a cat that I adore. I think it is much easier to find that close friend younger in life when we are at the same places in our lives. As we grow older, it seems that we go down different roads and lose our "common threads." These common threads are what brings us close in our younger years.


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?
-- Plato --
CF_GAL #337910 09/02/07 09:15 AM
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My best friend Sandy and I have been friends since 1972, our children call us auntie, we have been through, the good, the bad, and the ugly together. we shared the birth of our children and the death of my son.we are still there for each other today, and always will be, true friends are a blessing. i hope you all have at least one


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"Rosie" #339806 09/09/07 01:14 PM
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I totally understand what you mean!I'm in the same boat as CF_Gal. I do have a best friend, but she's lives in my hometown so I feel like I'm missing out on the experience. We've been bfs since we met, freshman year in high school-so, 10 years. We've changed a LOT over the years (she's engaged with a 4 year old and I'm the opposite), but we just kind of adapted to one another.

However, I am a firm believer that you can have that sisterly bond with more than one friend. I read an article that really made sense a few years ago ( this one is similar to it), and I'm still looking for those other amazing friends. There are different ways to bond with people. I've tried over the years to be close with "casual" friends, but you have to be careful who you choose. Sometimes, people really can't be trusted.

I would say that my boyfriend (3yrs) is a best friend too. He knows more about my everyday life than she does, but she knows more about who I am personally. Still, I wouldn't trade either for anything in the world!


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