I am new on the boards here and very depressed. I am requesting prayers please.
I was very young and lived on the island of Puerto Rico for 3 years before returning to the UK. While in Puerto Rico I had a very obsessive, possessive and jealous boyfriend. Anyway, I left him.
Many years later he found me via the internet. He told me how he had changed and still loved me. I thought that if someone could love me after so many years, it must be true love. I was with someone else at the time...I cared for him, but was not 'in love'. To make a long story short.. I went to Puerto Rico for a month to 'feel things out'. He begged me not to get on the plane back to Scotland, so I stayed longer... and he made me put it off until my ticket back to Scotland finally ran out (while promising me he'd buy me a new one).
He is temperamental and gets mad so easy...he's very jealous still and won't let me leave the house without him. I'm also stuck without my car. He doesn't want me to have friends that are male.. and is scared that any female friends that I make in Puerto Rico will want me to go out dancing and looking for men. I try to reassure him, but it doesn't work.
He tells me that he is the 'man' and not to argue with him, do as I'm told. Sometimes when he gets angry with me, he threatens to put me on a plane back to Scotland.
He tells me he loves me, but had caught him sending an email full of love to a woman in Russia that he met on vacation. He kept denying it and finally said he sent it because he understand psycology and that she will not want anything to do with him, in other words to make her back off. To me, that makes no sense. I had found links on the computer looking for Russian woman and general dating links. Why, if he is so happy with me, is this necessary. He told me some of that stuff is old. I don't believe it all is.
He's lied to me enough. He tells me he wants a baby with me and has prayed for me to get pregnant. I think I fell pregnant and lost it within the first 2 months.. Not sure why..maybe stress. I never had official test, but had gained weight (which was nearly impossible for my metabolism) and was so hungry and only spotting during period time! Anyway.. had very bad bleed and lost the weight after that with no more desire to eat.
Sometimes he says he wants a baby, other time he says he so glad he doesn't have any children.
He just told his friend not to marry his soon-to-be bride because be married is not all that rosy and he'll soon want a divorce because he himself wants one. He doesn't know that I know that. So, I just offered to look for an air ticket back to Scotland because I think it's best for us and he said no.
I'm so confused.. I gave up so much to leave Scotland and be with him. I'm so confused... I feel so depressed.... Someone please help me with prayer....
I ask God to help give me the answers, but feel so much pain and so lonely in this. I love this man, but I don't know why...
