I started posting on this site back in 2002. I have been away for years. Tonight I was reflecting on my choices and I realized I have so much to be thankful for. 12 years ago I was married and thought I was happy until my husband changed his mind and decided the need to procreate was a must for him. I realized if I didn't speak up about my unhappiness that I was sentencing us both to a life than was "less than" what we both wanted. We divorced in 2008. Even though my life became so difficult after the divorce, I have come out stronger and more resolved than ever to continue my child free lifestyle. I am with a wonderful man who shares my views about children and we live a very fulfilling life together. I teach in an alternative high school that caters to kids that are not successful in traditional high schools for whatever reason. Some of them are homeless and living on their own and some are parents or kids faced with incredible challenges. I find that the 100 kids I work with are both a challenge and a blessing. My decision to be true to myself was the best thing I ever did. I used to question my choices, but now 12 years later at 41 years old I am thankful and happy for the life I have. Thanks for listening and I hope this provides some perspective to some ladies who might be questioning their choices.
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Good for you! Actually I used to post here quite often too (although I gave up to pressure and ended up having a child) but the "married no kids" forum has been getting so few messages lately that I had the impression everybody gave up too and were having kids. Glad you hear you stuck to your guns :-)))
Solalux.....you might remember me. I started posting in 2010 as member name Cassie67. My marriage ended because my husband wanted kids and I did not. After 19 years together, 16 years married, our relationship was over. I am 47 now and I still don't regret my decision to be child free.
Good to see you again around here, Solalux!
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
Hi Antikid, I remember reading some of your posts back when I came to this site (2009), ambivalent about kids. I'm glad you're doing fine. I'm also doing very fine. I decided to be CF and so far my husband is still with me!! We don't talk about it anymore, at all, and we are very happy together. We have talked about getting a dog though, eventually.
Good for you! I firmly believe that we all have a right to make the choices we need in life to be true to ourselves. I only wish more people would resist the pressure to bring children into the world when the reality is that they would prefer not too. I am sure parents love the children they bring into the world, but there are other choices. My aunt never had any children, the world was a different place then. Women did not have children without the benefit of marriage. I don't know if she regrets her decision we never speak of it. However she is the best aunty in the world and I love her to bits. She may not have children but she has many nieces who love the bones of her. She may be childless but she is not without children.
I had my tubes tied at the age of 29, I turn 50 this year. NO REGRETS. So happy I found the love of my life who feels the same way. We will celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary this year. Hated hearing --- you'll regret it, you and your husband are selfish, and the the one that really stands out, if smart people stop having children we will not have enough smart people for the future. I tell them my best friend who was valedictorian married a valedictorian has 6 kids so she had mine for me.
i had my tubes snipped when i was 35 years old or so. best thing ive done to my self. we love having no kids...when you hear about parents and the things they have to put up with their kids/brats. dogs are a much better companion.