BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Stress Management What is your stress level today?

Dad is worst than usual today! Right now mom is figuring out if she will come too in less than two hours (i have an appointment and errands) and I hope she comes, yes they both are there but when dad is like that it is less worst and also scary when mom is there too.

That day off I had was so awesome, I enjoyed every seconds of it and I have no idea what happened when they were gone then but they were less worst (of course they were still their crazy selves trying to drive me crazy too but less than usual).

I have been on the edge of a panic attack for the past several minutes (combination of dad + insomnia + the things inside my eyes)!

I have yet to have a panic attack (i was able to calm down just enough to not be close to 1) but wanting mom to come too was a bad idea because she when we were close to being home made a remark about taking the bus to go see her friend where we lived and of course dad a few minutes later had a follow up, these twisted monsters had not done that in months.

For once being lazy and taking a long time to get up paid up because that extra time bought me a morning routine in peace :); I was about to get up but decided to stay a while longer and during that time dad came back in the house for like a minute and he was doing almost everything he does to drive me crazy during that time, they went outside to work and they are still there.

I had a panic attack tonight, I thought I was choking to death.

I had a panic attack last night, I stupidly made a search about eye flashes (started getting them about a year or so ago - been having floaters for many years) and of course with my eye psychosis combined with whatever (i think its a string from my washcloths) is in the eyes (i think in the left its gone - in the right its in the corner near the exit) I thought I was having a cornea issue then with that search I thought it was detaching. I know deep down this is not what is happening but it's a phobia I have no I cannot control my brain for that. I was still freaking out over it (still am by the way) so I called Iris for an eye examination and the secretary was so sweet with me and she calmed me down. She says cornea issues always come with pain and blurred vision so this is not happening to me thankfully, after I am told everything is fine by the doctor I will be totally calmed down.

For a few minutes I was calling myself names then I started hitting my head while continuing calling me names.

After writing here I thought I had calmed down but I started calling myself names again but did not it myself. Then my left eye started to hurt so I was scared then I thought about when I hit my head and then started to think that the reason why it was hurting is that these hits detached my retina and I almost gave myself a panic attack.

I am playing a game right now and am having troubles with a level, I had it but for the end I did something stupid and lost again so I started calling myself names and I also hit my head just because of that and now I am crying because I lost that level again!

I was close to a panic attack a few minutes ago and I was also very close to being either verbally or and physically violent with dad.