BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Stress Management Destruction, Violence and Stress

I just went outside and smashed things. I threw rocks, smashed boards, broke boxes and then found an old iron chain on the ground. I proceeded to smash some broken window panes that were in the shed and then abused some metal shelves in same shed.


When I ran out of things to throw or break that were essentially worthless, I crumpled to a sobbing heap.

I am keeping this chain. It's wrapped around my left wrist and I want to find a good Lord of the Rings type name for it.

I don't know if I feel 'better' but I am calmer. I've never been destructive like that before.

Anyone ever do anything remotely like this?

Hey Jilly

Can't say I have but two of my clients who are therapist say this is good as long as you acknowledge the anger when you're doing it. My client H says you have to say things like I'm really mad at this or that situation or I'm so angry about such and such or so and so. You don't have to say it out loud. He explains that when you don't do that being destructive like that isn't productive.

I take it out on my sandbag sometimes and it feels good plus I get a killer workout. When my exhusband used to [censored] me off I would go to the gym and just go nuts on the cardio.

You should try taking it all the way, and doing the full circle of emotions. After you cry like that just keep crying as much as you can until you start laughing. Then write it all down. It's crazy how we have the ability to run through all those emotions so quickly.

I learned that cool trick from the Power of Now guy. Hope things are o.k. : )

Jilly, I'm so sorry your going through all that
For a while now you've been talking about getting admitted to get help.
You need some one to talk to, I wish i could give you a big hug
(hug for you)
I have felt anger and frustration pretty much like you
Can you look into some therapy
My heart goes out to you

I found a nice LOTR name for my chain. I talked about it on Facebook and that was fun.

I only hit things that were worthless, like broken glass and wood scraps. It felt very satisfying. I guess it's like a boxing session in that sense - just getting the energy out. It was never out of control and was a novel experience. Monica, you are right - it felt totally productive. And GREAT aerobically.

Dan thought it was a good way for me to get out the stress from something kinda awful that happened that morning.

Thanks for the hug, Rosie. I'd get therapy if 1. I could afford it and 2. I didn't move every few months.

After my little violent session, I went on an uphill hike to some cave ruins and climbed around in Anasazi caves. I did some yoga and meditating and stayed up there until sunset.

The thing that happened was something that had kinda happened a few years before and I never really dealt with it. All this time it just festered and turned to rot inside me. So I am hoping that this was a better example of how to handle that kind of pain - to get it all out this time, instead of keeping me up at night with anxiety.

It is definitely better to let the energy out than to try to bottle it inside. It sounds like that energy needed to come out of you and you channeled it in a way that did not hurt anything or anyone. Which is great! Having that release is really important!

Things should not fester inside of you! That isn't good Going forward we have to find a way not to let bad things get inside of you - or be around you - but for now releasing them is the critical first step

Yes definitely there are a LOT of things in your life affected by your constant moving. You cannot change that right now, so let those issues go for now. Know that in a fairly short period of time you WILL settle down somewhere wonderful, and that you will be able to build that stable of resources with a therapist, and fun friends, and much more!

I have thought many times to do that but I have yet to do it.