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#675688 04/06/11 04:03 AM
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Cute smile

Originally Posted By: Pedro Jose Fernandez
Altough I am not Asian, I have found they have a sharp eye for the absurd-based humour. Here are some Jokes I have gathered from Asian Places:

***

A Japanese tourist visits Manila and takes a cab from the airport. The cab passed by the Cultural Centre (pride of Manila in the 70s):

Japanese: How long did they build that building?

Cab driver: (proudly) Sir, I think 300 days

Japanes: Oh, so slow. In Japan everything very fast. We can build that in 180 days

Next they pass by another huge landmark, built on large reclaimed land:

Japanese: That one, how many days to build it?

Cab driver: (now irritated) Sir, about 100 days only!

Japanese: (unimpressed) Oh, so slow. In Japan everything very fast. We can build that in 50 days

They arrive at the Jap's hotel.

Japanese: How much is fare?

Cab driver: One hundred US dollars!

Japanese: Wow so expensive! Just a 10 minute drive

Cab driver: (points to the meter) Sir, meter made in Japan. Very fast.
***
Top tax officials of south Asian countries are on a plane going to a meeting of tax ministers. The Bangladeshi pulls out a thousand rupees. �I�m going to drop this out of the window and make someone happy.� The Sri Lankan official says, �I would rather drop two 500-rupee notes and make two people happy.� The Indian official says, �I would drop 100 ten-rupee notes and make 100 people happy.�

The pilot says, �I�d like to drop all three of you out and make a billion people happy.�
***
This speaks a lot about the Japanese quality standards and also cultural misunderstandings. They�re still laughing about this at IBM. Apparently the computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they set out that they will accept three defective parts per 10,000 . When the delivery came in there was an accompanying letter. �We, Japanese people, had a hard time understanding North American business practices. But the three defective parts per 10,000 have been separately manufactured and have been included in the consignment. Hope this pleases you.�
****
A Chinese girl, newly arrived at Harvard, has a long chat with the librarian about a book she is seeking. Finally he says, "I'll give you a ring tomorrow."

The Chinese girl is stunned. �Wow,� she says, clapping her hands. �You Americans really work fast.�

***
Five reasons why there won�t be a South Asian in the US White House any time soon.
5. White House not big enough for in-laws.
4. Western dignitaries intimidated by eating with fingers at state dinners.
3. Agarbattis (incense sticks) will set off smoke alarms.
2. Visitors such as Queen Elizabeth won�t like having to take off shoes at the door.
1. Aides will dislike being addressed as �Peon� and being made to live in huts in the garden.

***
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying:

�HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.�

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office
manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, �I can�t hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type.�

The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, �The sign says you have to be good with a computer.�

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager.

By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, �I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can�t give you the job.�

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said, �Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual.�

The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, �Meow.�

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Jellyfish
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lolzz.. nice collections!!! The pilot's joke was awesome!!

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Hi............ Nice collection dear. You make my today so good. Thanks for sharing.



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Haha! Those were really good. I really liked all the jokes, especially the last one. 'Meow'. LOL.


I love music, movies!! I write at mag for women in free time.
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Lol Asians are funny!

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Haha, very funny. Nice collection.


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Awesome jokes my friend

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Haha good ones,Thanks!

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Ha ha ha...., I have heard some of these earlier. Please post more... laugh


Anu Dharmani

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