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THE ERMINE: The Ermine isn’t a vermin ’cause no vermin’s coat could cost an ermine and a leg.

Very witty!

FREDERIKA: There once was a matron named Frederika who disdained from eating anything made with paprika no matter how hungarian she might have been.

SCONES: In Scotland if you live in close proximity to a bakery you’re probably just a scone’s throw away.

Xmeecosmic, your terseversen has (have?) given me a good laugh this morning.

THE CUCUMBER: If it weren’t for the skin, the flesh, and the seeds, the cucumber I’d fondly remember indeed.

CORSICA: By boat can you get to the Mediterranean island of Corsica? Of Corsica!

FRIED CALAMARI: Fried Calamari by any other name would smell just as squid.

COPERNICUS: Copernicus revolutionized the meaning of the Universe placing the Sun rather than the Earth at its center. Yet the masses scorned this mathematical dissenter as living in the dark was pleasanter. Yet in time all of us were enlightened that from that astronomer we did learnicus.

TOFU'D: This may be a tasteless question but who thinks tofu is ofu? My guess is more than a fu.