logo

Channel List
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Newest Members
Orchid, bonding99, davidearly, SusieGG, OSTSEE
58341 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums417
Topics119,289
Posts846,568
Members58,341
Most Online410
Feb 3rd, 2018
Top Posters(30 Days)
Sponsor
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#873196 - 08/02/14 06:49 PM I compare myself to white women  
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 2
SolfiSlick Offline
Newbie
SolfiSlick  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 2
I'm right at my ideal body weight for my age and height, 5'8" 140 lbs, have beautiful hair and eyes, full lips and round buttocks, and can run up a flight of stairs two or three at a time. I'm also half black, which isn't a bad thing except that I've always compared myself to the ideal white woman, making me feel less than beautiful ever since I was a preteen. Even though my husband loves my assets, and even points out advantages I have over other girls, I still can't help but compare myself in a negative way. :( I'm pretty much out of the running unless I want to develop an eating disorder, or go on the banan girl diet, or something like that. How do I deal with this? I'm a musician and I want to get into performing, and being able to really sell myself means a lot to me.

#873244 - 08/03/14 12:27 PM Re: I compare myself to white women [Re: SolfiSlick]  
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 33
Nadine - Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Nadine - Editor  Offline

BellaOnline Editor
Newbie

Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 33
Southern CA
I know it can be difficult when we see all the media input, and yes it is true, we have grown up, at least in the United States, seeing mostly thin white women as the ideal of beauty. I would suggest a couple of things. First, realize that most photos are so retouched that what you are seeing is not reality. I live in Los Angeles and see many celebrities in daily life, they are just like you and I with all our flaws. Second, know that only 5% of people have the genetic ability to attain that so called thin, perfect, body. So dieting, exercising etc. are not going to get you there. At best it will only make you unhappy chasing something impossible and at worst it could make you ill. You don't need to change your body, it is perfect the way it is. You say you want to sell yourself as a musician, that means you need confidence, not a super thin body. We are fortunate today that women of all sizes and races are taking their places in entertainment. Don't think this is true? Take a look at Melissa McCarthy, Gabourey Sidbe, Rikki Lake, Sherri Shepherd, Adele, Kate Upton, Kelly Clarkson, and Sofia Vergara. By the way, you say you are 5' 8" and 140, Sofia is 5' 7" and 141 and I don't think there is anyone who wouldn't consider her beautiful.

#873288 - 08/04/14 03:11 AM Re: I compare myself to white women [Re: SolfiSlick]  
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 2
SolfiSlick Offline
Newbie
SolfiSlick  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 2
Looking at all the differences in the famous people you listed (and not focusing on one ideal) has helped me see that in a diverse group of people, one person really doesn't look all that different from another person. Where I live, it seems like there are a lot of girls who obsess with looking perfect, and I mean like having two kids and still a size zero in jeans and flawless makeup kind of perfect, and a lot of girls think they have to be super fit. I auditioned a couple years back in the above-mentioned town to be a part of a performing group at a theme park, and I was 15-20 lbs less than what I am now, but I still felt big compared to all the other girls, taller and more muscular, and even with me being super thin back then, my bone structure just seemed bigger than theirs. But I really wasn't all that different from them, just like the celebrities really aren't all that different from each other physically, if you look at the big picture, which is hard.

#917005 - 01/10/17 04:26 AM Re: I compare myself to white women [Re: SolfiSlick]  
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,602
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,602
It is such a shame that even in modern times our media tends to push the idea of a slim white-skinned woman as the ideal. There is SO much beauty in the world in all colors, shapes, and sizes.

What I might recommend is going on a media fast. If you get magazines that showcase that type of white-girl image, unsubscribe. Stop reading them. And, heck, maybe subscribe to some that focus on women who look more like you. Heck, go on a movie-watching binge that features beautiful actresses of non-white varieties. Try to de-program yourself.

Good luck!


Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum
#921274 - 06/21/17 03:38 AM Re: I compare myself to white women [Re: SolfiSlick]  
Joined: Jun 2017
Posts: 32
Alexa.94 Offline
Newbie
Alexa.94  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Jun 2017
Posts: 32
Chicago
Well, I guess, It near to insult you by comparing yourself with others. I think everyone has their standard of living and one should focus on themselves more than compare with others.

Cheers,
Alexa

#922647 - 08/25/17 01:58 AM Re: I compare myself to white women [Re: SolfiSlick]  
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 22
Altenect Offline
Newbie
Altenect  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 22
Don't compare yourself because of what is in or not. We are all created beautifully.

#925505 - 12/29/17 05:25 PM Re: I compare myself to white women [Re: SolfiSlick]  
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 30
jodirose Offline
Newbie
jodirose  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 30
Comparison is the thief of joy. Remember that!


Moderated by  Nadine - Editor 

Brand New Posts
The Last Short Story You Read?
by Mona - Astronomy. Short Stories
02/22/18 11:30 PM
Copernicus says the Sun is at the center
by Mona - Astronomy. Astronomy
02/22/18 11:24 PM
Cosmic Valentines to share
by Mona - Astronomy. Astronomy
02/22/18 10:49 PM
2018: On this day . . .
by Mona - Astronomy. Astronomy
02/22/18 10:29 PM
What Are Your Favorite Genres of Short Stories?
by Michelle - Short Stories. Short Stories
02/22/18 09:59 PM
Stay home & shop on Black Friday
by Nancy Roussy. Small Office/Home Office
02/22/18 09:42 PM
What are you looking forward to today?
by Nancy Roussy. Self Development
02/22/18 08:17 PM
Where are you and how is the weather?
by Nancy Roussy. Inspiration
02/22/18 08:15 PM
What will you do today?
by Nancy Roussy. Inspiration
02/22/18 08:13 PM
What's your Typical Daily Menu?
by Nancy Roussy. Low Carb
02/22/18 08:04 PM
Register to Post!
Want to post? For security reasons you need to Register as a Forum Member. It's quick, easy and free!
Forum Activities
Book Clubs
Trivia Contests
Who's Online Now
0 registered members (), 152 guests, and 5 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Sponsor


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2018 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0
Page Time: 1.104s Queries: 14 (0.040s) Memory: 2.0349 MB (Peak: 2.1402 MB) Zlib disabled. Server Time: 2018-02-23 00:56:43 UTC