We have been together for almost five years. First two years were okay. First time he hit me I thought it would never happen again. Then it did. Then it happened a couple more times. Then he threw me on the ground and gave me so many bruises I was sore for a week I could not sleep on one side. Now I am scared. He has made me bleed several times, gave me nose bleeds, hit me more than enough, but I still can't back down. When we fight I don't even care. He comes right in my face to hit me, and I am not afraid. Until after it all happens. I am nervous something bad will happen one day. He is so big, 6'5" 300 pounds, football player. I am 5'1" 135 pounds, normal girl. He loves me, I love him. He has a hard life, so much has happened to him. Me too, things have happened to me. He always feels bad after the fact when he hurts me. Now when he gets mad for no reasons and screams and yells I hold the dog and just ask him to leave. Normally he does. He has slept with other women, cheated countless times. But he wants to change. Now he doesn't talk to any more women, but he still hits me. The last time he hit me my friend was over in the other room, and he thought he wash pushing me, but he hit me so hard in my chest. Did he mean it that he thought he was just pushing me? How do I know if this is real abuse? I don't want to tell my family or friends because I love him so much I don't want to put him in this situation. I don't want to put myself in this situation. But I am tired of being afraid of him. Everyone loves him. No one knows how scary he can really be. He is so big, and maybe he doesn't know his strength. He always says he didn't think he was really hurting me. But I am left with bruises. And he tells me that is normal for lighter people, he is black I am latina. Maybe I do just bruise easy. I just want someone to tell me what to do.
