BellaOnline Forums News and Politics Senior Issues Be your own advocate, seniors!

Most construction/contractor scams are avoidable. As a matter of fact, I've been told many times by the elderly victim, that at some point, they wanted to say "no", but didn't. Why not? Because they didn't want to be rude. Or they didn't want the contractor to feel mistrusted. (Even when the elder did not trust the contractor) So the senior goes along with the plan, and gets ripped off not because they believed the contractor, but because they didn't feel comfortable saying no. The question is, how does a very polite and sensitive senior learn to say "no"?

Not sure. It seems we have all been raised to be polite. I do know some people who are quick to say No.

Those of us who really don't like to say 'no' can always say 'I need some time to think about it'. A pushy salesman will almost always say "But we need to know right now!" or some such thing. But that puts him in the wrong, and allows us to show anger and snap, "Please don't rush me! I don't like to be rushed. It's rude to rush me! [mutter, mutter, mumble] Don't rush me!" and go off into a bit of a tantrum, if you can manage it. Another ploy is to say, "I want to check this with my son/neighbour/friend. He's an accountant." Scammers don't want to meet accountants, I assure you. I get occasional cold-callers phoning to persuade me to invest with them. I say "Thanks, but I make my own investment decisions. I'm an accountant." Maybe they think I'm a fellow-scammer and hang up out of professional courtesy... But they do hang up!

I think it will take practice - lots of practice.

The idea that people can say "no" in a softer, more indirect manner is a good one. The end result is the same, and the elder that has a hard time saying "no" will get the practice needed to feel comfortable not saying "yes". Thanks for the suggestions!