logo
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,963
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,963
Usually, we think of these people as just being lucky but it's really not a matter of luck. Those with easy marriages tend to have easy (going) personalities. They share the same traits:

*easy-going
*tolerant
*patient
*accepting
*un-controlling
*happy

On the other hand, you never know what going on behind closed doors. Everyone thought my uncle and aunt had the perfect marriage because they were always so nice. Married for over 50 years. But after he died, all the skeletons came out of the closet. I'll keep their secrets but suffice it to say, you never know the truth about another person's marriage so don't compare yours with anyone else's.

If your marriage isn't perfect or easy, ask yourself why. Mine isn't but it is quickly becoming so because I finally get that I have a lot of influence in my marital happiness. The happier, more tolerant, patient, easy-going I become, the easier my marriage becomes.


Lori Phillips
Dreams editor

Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

Marriage editor
Bellaonline Marriage site
Twitter: @BellaMarriage
Sponsored Post Advertisement
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,813
C
BellaOnline Editor
Renaissance Human
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Renaissance Human
C
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,813
If somebody says that they have a perfect and easy marriage, I look upon them with skepticism. I've got a wonderful and solid marriage...and it is a lot of work. It's not perfect or easy!


Connie Mistler Davidson-Editor-ADD/Sandwiches/Reading
Attention Deficit Disorder
Sandwiches
Reading
Avatar: Hope~Even when conditions are harsh, hope can bloom.

My EBook link.
Building School Success with ADD EBook Link




Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 8,850
BellaOnline Editor
Stone Age Human
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Stone Age Human
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 8,850
Connie, I sure agree with you!

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Wolf
Offline
Wolf
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
My marriage is reaching perfection. It will take some more time.

Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 8,850
BellaOnline Editor
Stone Age Human
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Stone Age Human
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 8,850
Modern Woman - give us some tips to your success ...

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Wolf
Offline
Wolf
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
We should think more about the other person more than we think of ourselves. Even otherwise divorce is not that common in India. So couples try to adjust with each other.

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Wolf
Offline
Wolf
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
It is certainly not easy to have a near perfect marriage. It is very tough.

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 739
L
Gecko
Offline
Gecko
L
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 739
A former neighbor had celebrated over 50 years of marriage, and at the age of 85, she would quietly knit in a corner of the house all by herself now that her mate had passed. I marveled at her being married for such a long time, and I asked what her secret of success was. I will never forget her response:

She leaned closer to me and whispered: "To be married as long as I have, you have to put up with a lot of [censored]."

LOL. I was going to have that cross-stitched to hang over my mantel but thought it might be a little too crass for company.

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,671
Chipmunk
Offline
Chipmunk
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,671
I'd go ahead and cross stitch it. You live there -- they don't and most likely they'd agree with it. smile I can't name anyone I've ever known having anything close to what would be called a perfect marriage. I think the whole concept is mythical. LOL!

Last edited by daisybun; 02/28/15 07:11 PM.

Former Chocolate Editor. Also known as Daisybun.
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,813
C
BellaOnline Editor
Renaissance Human
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Renaissance Human
C
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,813
Our youngest son will tell anybody who will listen, "My parents have a perfect marriage." I just laugh and tell him that nobody has a perfect marriage. His dad and I are good friends and we work hard to keep our marriage strong. Yes, sometimes that does mean putting up with a lot of ___! Sometimes he puts up with mine, while other times I put up with his. HOWEVER, it is not one sided, and we love each other like crazy.


Connie Mistler Davidson-Editor-ADD/Sandwiches/Reading
Attention Deficit Disorder
Sandwiches
Reading
Avatar: Hope~Even when conditions are harsh, hope can bloom.

My EBook link.
Building School Success with ADD EBook Link




Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 8,850
BellaOnline Editor
Stone Age Human
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Stone Age Human
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 8,850
I think that adapting to changing circumstances and issues is key, and to be sure we have our own hobbies to retreat into during stressful times. For me it is either reading, writing, or meditating.

smile

Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 321
A
BellaOnline Editor
Shark
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Shark
A
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 321
Nothing is perfect in this world. Its not me, neither is my husband or anyone else for the matter. Perfection exists only in heaven.

I don't aim to preach but..... Don't try for perfection, instead be happy and look for satisfaction. (WOW, I like this sentence laugh )


Anu Dharmani

Orchids Editor

Signup for Orchids Newsletter for the latest on the orchids.
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
L
BellaOnline Editor
Koala
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala
L
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
You're all so right and have valuable points for us to consider. I especially love your last sentence, too, Anu: "Don't try for perfection, instead be happy and look for satisfaction."

What is perfection anyway? Everyone has his or her own idea of a perfect marriage. There is perfection in imperfection.

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808
D
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant
D
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808
There can be no perfect marriage between two imperfect people. We are human and there is nothing we can do to change that. Inevitably we will make mistakes along the way.

I know a few couples who have been married for many years and they seem very happy with a strong bond. But they will say that there have been ups and downs, and each person will sometimes go off the rails a bit. The key is patience and acceptance, love and compassion, support and a lot of hard work. It is what it is. You will get out of it what you put into it, provided both people are committed to the marriage's survival.

Perfect? Easy? Never. But peace and happiness within a marriage can be achieved even with the challenges that life will dish out.


Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 125
G
Jellyfish
Offline
Jellyfish
G
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 125
Originally Posted By Susan - Meditation Editor
I think that adapting to changing circumstances and issues is key...


Indeed it is! The biggest change of circumstances for me and my wife of 48 years, and the biggest threat to our marriage, was her insistence forty years ago to have a child. As I confessed in my blog ("A young man's car", in the Archives of September 2013): where two had been company, three was a crowd.

However, when the time came for one of us to give up work and become the parent of first resort, it was I who chose to do it. I did it for five years, beginning around the time of our son's sixth birthday ("On being a house-husband", October 2013). We bonded fabulously well, and we have been closer than he and his mother, ever since.

Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 779
K
BellaOnline Editor
Gecko
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Gecko
K
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 779
It's not possible for a marriage to be easy. The key is talking to each other honestly and never embarrassing your spouse in public. I feel blessed to have been married to my husband for twenty-seven years.


"....and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." - John Lennon
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,629
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,629
My marriage is not always perfect but it is becoming more solid as we have both relaxed a little bit.

Tip: Some things (like certain perceived bad habits) are just not that important to give any attention to.


AJ Alexander (aka: Bubbles)
Weight Loss Editor

Joined: May 2013
Posts: 2,093
BellaOnline Editor
Koala
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 2,093
I don't think anyone has a perfect marriage. Personalities are different. Even though 2 people may agree on a lot of things, there is always going to be room for a heated debate somewhere down the road.

Maybe some people have an easy marriage, in the respect of not having to worry about money.

Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,500
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,500
My parents have been married over 63 years. It's not always easy, but they've managed. It's a wonderful site to see. My mom is very outgoing and ornery, my dad more introverted and sedate. It's a very interesting combination.

Page 1 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
Brand New Posts
Make It Sew Easier
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor - 03/27/24 04:34 PM
2024 - on this day in the past ...
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/27/24 01:31 PM
Planner Template Kit - Weekly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:39 PM
Planner Template Kit - Yearly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:37 PM
How to Use Digital Planner Template Kit
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:36 PM
Review - 20 Illustrator Color tips Helen Bradley
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:32 PM
March Equinox to June Solstice
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/26/24 12:27 PM
Hobotrader unleashes never seen opportunity with i
by Jamal molla - 03/26/24 11:55 AM
Psalm for the day
by Angie - 03/25/24 09:05 AM
Genealogy, Sort of
by Angie - 03/24/24 05:39 PM
Sponsor
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Privacy
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2022 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5