BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Attention Deficit Disorder Parenting with Attention Deficit Disorder

When one or both parents have Attention Deficit Disorder, it's a pretty good bet that at least a few of their kids do, too. Parents can help their children who have ADD by sharing their well-developed understanding and expertise about living with Attention Deficit Disorder.

Parenting with Attention Deficit Disorder

A kid with ADD/ADHD who has a parent that has learned to manage the negative symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder has a blessing!

Sometimes it is hard to deal with your own ADD/ADHD and to have to keep it together for your kids.

A parent who has worked with his/her own ADD can be an especially powerful advocate for the child with ADD.

I am finding printing with ADHD to be more challenging than I expected. I went off meds a few years ago before my pregnancies of my now young children. I had great systems in place and felt like I was doing well. Now I can't get my house picked up, I am inconsistent with potty training, I forget to put things in their right place - like putting my keys where they belong so I can find them again. I am stressed out, and I know my kids would do better if I was managing better. I realized that I constantly have my beautiful, wonderful distractions all the time at home, and that my old strategies aren't enough. I plan to get back into a doctor to help get this under control again. Does anyone out there have specific strategies for parenting itself? Making sure to stay consistent and get good routines? Any other helpful hints?

I hear you and feel your pain! The best advice that I have is to change a bit at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself.

First, since you did well on medication, commit to a date when you make the doctor's appointment. See somebody that you trust.

Second, choose one place that you will put your keys. Why is this so important? It is a daily frustration that makes you feel ineffective, so it colors everything around you. BTW, put the keys high enough so that your kids don't carry them around!

Third, choose one thing that you want changed, and make a plan to do that.

Finally, what is your biggest distraction that provides little or no payback for you? This is something that you get no benefit from, other than distraction. Commit to strictly limiting it or getting rid of it, if possible. Spending time with your children does not fall into this category. Time spent playing with children, encouraging their creativity, and building lasting bonds of love does take time. It is not a distraction.

Does this help at all? Now, your turn...

Yeah, it does help. I start feeling guilty when I see chaos all around me that I either caused or failed to manage, remembering that it will take time to get it pulled together is good for me. I know it, but often beat myself up anyway. My previous doctor moved away. I have an intake today at a new clinic. I am nervous, but I am hoping that doctors have gotten even wiser about ADHD in the last few years than they were before. The last two questions are things I am really pondering. Saying I want the chaos to stop and my home to be picked up and have good routing established and functioning at home is NOT one thing to change - and I can only do one thing at a time. I think I really want to get my home organized. I used the flylady system years ago, and it helped a lot. If I get back on meds, maybe it will work again. IF not, I can start to look at other systems. For work, I found the emergent task planner, and the system seems to make sense, I just can't seem to get it going now. So that is a lot to start. It is nice knowing I am not alone in the world with my struggles.

You might drop by the Living Simply site and see what tips Tina has. She is a wowser organizer. Please stay connected here,too! Many more people lurk on this forum than post, but sometimes they comment. When the comments start, they're good ones.

Things are starting to get better. I got back on medication. I started on Concerta. Although it is Ritalin with a time release pump, it seems gentle and doesn't have that jarring start and stop that Ritalin does. It is giving me the extra little bit I need to start getting organized and to stop the chaos. My little ones are benefitting form me not feeling so overwhelmed. The 3 y.o. is having no accidents during the day now! Since starting back on medicaiton, I can now see how some of my behaviors were sabotaging me. Things I couldn't see before. One of the most notable is that I didnt' take into account how long a task would take. I would schedule my to-do list and it was full of things that would each take several hours! I couldn't see how long things took. I know a lot af ADDers struggle with this. Including how long tasks take when I plan my day has helped a lot. So has planning my day, and working on simplifying my home and life.

Thanks for bringing us up-to-date on what's going on in your life. It helps others who are considering medication to see how it has helped you. I'm glad things are going better for you and the kids.

So great that you stopped by!