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Verbal abuse is essentially the invisible form of child abuse. There are no bruises or broken bones but make no mistake the damage is happening to the child's soul, mental health and self esteem. Learn how words can hurt more than fists.

Verbal Child Abuse the Invisible Abuse

"Sticks and stones can break bones, but words can break hearts."

My mother was careless with her words. I know she really loved and loves us dearly. And one would never say that she was verbally abusive, per se. But careless words shape a child, and let me tell you, my esteem took a serious hit from some of the things she said to me.

She called me unflattering names ("idiot" "stupid" etc.) At one point, she told me that people didn't really like me (she wanted to keep me isolated and at home). To this day, I wonder if people don't really like me.

I love my mother dearly, and I don't hold any resentments. She was careless and uneducated about such matters. As an adult, I know to rise above our early emotional baggage, but it is so deeply seated into our belief systems that we develop as children on a subconscious level, that it resurfaces over and over again. Of course, it doesn't help when she still manages to reinforce some things by saying, "I don't understand why you have such low self-esteem, stupid."

Never mind that I have two college degrees (a BA and MA). I still think and act as though I am stupid around her. I am the family buffoon.

Hi Lori-

Thank you for sharing about how damaging words can be to a child and the after effects that carries through for the rest of our lives.

I am sorry you had to have that experience. I do know you are an excellent author and your eBooks are exceptional, and I can state that as a fact as I have had the pleasure of reviewing several of them. In fact reviewing your eBook gave me the courage to start and FINALLY complete my own for the Missing and Exploited Children site. That was 7 years I have been frozen in fear and overwhelmed with formatting.

I cannot imagine how many lives you have touched through your writing. You are encouraging, enlightening and enthusiastic when you write. I only hope your mother eventually sees the real you one day.

I do understand about feeling as if we revert to a child when we go home. Parents hold a great deal of power over us internally based on what we grew up with and that stays with us no matter how much education or support we may receive later.

You nailed it here!

BTW, I have never met you personally but I would love to one day. Lori please do not worry if I like you, b/c I already love your ability to be completely open and honest in everything you write.

Have a blessed day-

Erika, I read your post and had to take some time to absorb it because it really moved me deeply. Thank you so much for your kind words. They are like a salve to a bleeding wound.

I take my mother's words lightly today even though they continue because she honestly doesn't say them with malice. Perhaps she thinks she is being funny, I'm not sure. For example, she told me that I look better from the back so I should walk into a room backwards. haha.

But yesterday I had to babysit two babies and she jumped to my aid. At 83 years of age and not in the best of health, she helped me feed, change, rock the babies. She also made my breakfast and lunch even though I usually try to do that for her. So, she is a loving mother to me.

But I think twice about what I say to my children.

As for my writing, I'm afraid even with my editing background, I have become lax and unprofessional. I published some ebooks/books without perfecting the formatting. Unheard of, but it's where I'm at today, I suppose, and I hope the info will reach the right people.

Please do keep writing, Erika! Those who need it will read it! And your topics are so vital. As a mother, I cannot imagine the horror of having one of my children kidnapped, exploited or abused! We hear the news, feel outraged but then a new day dawns and we forget that there are mothers and fathers out there whose worlds have stopped turning because they do not know where their children are. Oh, my goodness. You just inspired me into action.

Bless you forever, Erika!