"Sticks and stones can break bones, but words can break hearts."
My mother was careless with her words. I know she really loved and loves us dearly. And one would never say that she was verbally abusive, per se. But careless words shape a child, and let me tell you, my esteem took a serious hit from some of the things she said to me.
She called me unflattering names ("idiot" "stupid" etc.) At one point, she told me that people didn't really like me (she wanted to keep me isolated and at home). To this day, I wonder if people don't really like me.
I love my mother dearly, and I don't hold any resentments. She was careless and uneducated about such matters. As an adult, I know to rise above our early emotional baggage, but it is so deeply seated into our belief systems that we develop as children on a subconscious level, that it resurfaces over and over again. Of course, it doesn't help when she still manages to reinforce some things by saying, "I don't understand why you have such low self-esteem, stupid."
Never mind that I have two college degrees (a BA and MA). I still think and act as though I am stupid around her. I am the family buffoon.