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About 20 years ago when I first came to New York, everybody was reading Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Successful People" and I had absolutely NO interest in reading it.

I was in my early 20s and thought self-help books were ridiculous and could not help anyone.

Than at 28 my husband and I discovered we were pregnant and my mother-in-law suggested I read up on the subject. So I started reading stuff like "What to Expect when You're Expecting" and a whole bunch of pregnancy books. These books scared the heck out of me! LOL...

Two years later I found myself a stay-at-home mom, pregnant again with a two year old. I was DESPERATE for some help. I found a book called "Baby Days" by Barbara Rowley (Jan 19, 2000) This book taught me how to do things like give my two year old son a keyboard that was not attached to anything so he could pretend to be on the computer to give me a few minutes so *I* could actually get on the computer. And lo and behold Rowley's advice worked. I could actually function again thanks to that book. I don't know what I would have done without her advice!

This was 2000. Then I began to read the work of Iyanla Vanzant and Steven Carter and others, but my reading was rather desultory at this point.

Then in 2005, I became the Life Coaching Editor here and I have been on a steady diet of self-help books for the last 8 years.

Last year I was at the eye doctors and my doctor said she could just never "get into" self-help books. I told her that I go through about 100 a year. (I don't read word for word 100 books a year, some I read portions of others I read the whole thing).

And she said: "Leah, nobody needs that much help!!!"

But I still feel like I've only just scratched the surface in my reading. The best is yet to come.

Any opinions? Self-help books. Like 'em or hate 'em...?

Last edited by leahmullen; 10/04/13 04:11 PM.

LEAH MULLEN
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Love 'em!

I often return to oldies but goodies because what I get out of them is related to where I am on my spiritual path.


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I agree, Leah and Yvonnie. Not all are good and I don't overindulge in them, but now and then something in one of them will really hit home and will be of great help.


Debbie Grejdus
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I realize that you have to be in a certain place in order to get anything out of a self-help book.

I scoffed at them in my early 20s, but then *needed* them just a few years later.

When the student is ready...the teacher always appears.


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Well said ladies


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I'm on the band wagon, too. I've always loved to try out tips and hints from any source.

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They only self help book I need is my bible.....Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth. It has pulled me through a lot of stuff and continues to both inspire and amaze me!

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Hi Robin,

I appreciate your comments. I often look at self-help books the way a mechanic might view a book on how to fix an engine.

Self-help books are how-to guides offering practical tips and tricks for some of the problems we face in today’s world. How to change jobs after 40, how to get your child to do his homework, how to talk to your spouse about sensitive subjects etc.

The book I mentioned “Baby Days” offered hundreds of activities from which I drew from to engage my 2 year old. I *needed* this adviceA book called “Fight Your Fear and Win” taught me the secret to multi-tasking. Another one that I’m reading right now is called “The Water Secret.” is about how to get more water in your diet so you can improve your health as you age.

I know that self-help books are not for everyone, but I’m definitely a proponent. I probably have 5 or 6 on my nightstand right now.


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Oh and here's a book I started to read awhile ago that aims to debunk the self-help moviement. Self Help Inc

While I don't agree with the premise. It's definitely worth the read. I'll try to get back to it again by the end of this year.

Here's the description from Amazon:

Self Help, Inc.: Makeover Culture in American Life [Paperback]
Micki McGee

Why doesn't self-help help? Cultural critic Micki McGee puts forward this paradoxical question as she looks at a world where the market for self-improvement products--books, audiotapes, and extreme makeovers--is exploding, and there seems to be no end in sight. Rather than seeing narcissism at the root of the self-help craze, as others have contended, McGee shows a nation relying on self-help culture for advice on how to cope in an increasingly volatile and competitive work world. Self-Help, Inc. reveals how makeover culture traps Americans in endless cycles of self-invention and overwork as they struggle to stay ahead of a rapidly restructuring economic order. A lucid and fascinating treatment of the modern obsession with work and self-improvement, this lively book will strike a chord with its acute diagnosis of the self-help trap and its sharp suggestions for how we can address the alienating conditions of modern work and family life.
Show more
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Hi Leah. Thanks for your insight. I agree these types of books are not for everyone. They have their place I guess....."in the world". But as a bible believing Christian, I know where to find the answers to whatever I am struggling g with. I think God might even guide us to those books if need be......your example about your two year old might be one. I just feel that if I live my life according g to His Word, and keep my heart and mind open to hear His voice, I'll do okay. I'm not even too crazy about some of the Christian self help books out there. I question their motives in the writing of such books. Or more the methods they propose. God bless you and your family. Thanks for the input. Robin

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Hi Robin,

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts.

Self-help/life coaching is not meant to replace spiritual or religious beliefs or practices.

As I mentioned, I look at self-help the way a mechanic would look at a book on repairing engines. I also look at self-help books the same way I view cookbooks.

Long before allrecipes.com (my go-to site for recipes) existed in 1998, I decided I would cook only vegetarian meals at home. I had been raised on meat and potatoes so this is another situation where I *had* to turn to books to learn this new skill because no one else was going to teach me. I purchased and borrowed cookbooks and through lots of trial and error I learned. Now I am teaching my children.

In the same vein when I wanted to learn how to write saleable short stories, I turned to a self-help book that taught me how to plot, format and then sell. It was similar to following the recipe in a cookbook. I followed the instructions and within a few months of purchasing the book, I sold a short story to Dorchester.

Self-help is usually very goal specific. Life coaching is about setting and achieving goals. I’ve seen people set goals to deepen their spiritual practice. Currently on 43things.com, more than 3700 people have a goal to “Read the Bible” others have a goal to “be a better Christian” and to “have more faith in God.”

Last edited by leahmullen; 10/10/13 06:08 AM.

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Yvonnie,

Regarding the oldies, one of the things I want to do with the Life Ccoaching site is to spend one year rereading "the best of" the books I've read over the years like Martin Seligman's "Authentic Happiness" and Ekhert Tolle's "The Power of Now," David Allen's "Getting Things Done," etc.


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Debbie and Susan,

What's the most useful self-help book you've read in say the last two or three years?

Last edited by leahmullen; 10/10/13 06:18 AM.

LEAH MULLEN
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When we first found out about Michael's Asperger's, we read tons of books on dealing with Autism. Some were very helpful while others - not so much. But it helped to feel like I was doing something.

I don't read them so much anymore, my reading time is mostly spent on fiction.


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Michelle,

Yes, most self-help is meant to be very goal specific. You get the books, you learn the information, you use the information and then you move on. That's the process for most people.

I know my 100 self-help book a year habit puts me in a completely different category.


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Love Soup by Anna Thomas - so many useful tips!

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