BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Passion or Friendship?

In a marriage, do you think that it is more important to have passion or friendship? You can have both but if you couldn't, would you be okay with one and not the other?

Passion or Friendship? single choice
	I need passion.
	I'm fine with friendship.
	I'd settle only for both.
Votes accepted starting: 05/23/13 10:08 AM
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My opinion is that seniors, and those with poor health or a partner with poor health, are settling for friendship out of necessity.

True, Susan. When my boyfriend was very sick the passion had to take a back seat for a while. The friendship and affection kept us together. But I have to say, I really missed the intimate time and I was glad when he could participate more and more as he got a little better. Now that he is departed I miss the entire package......passion and friendship, but I do think it is important to start with friendship for any long lasting relationship, and develop the passion as time goes on.

Lori, great topic! We have only been married six years and together for a decade, but we have two young daughters now. At this point in life I feel that the friendship and partnership we have is a necessity but I miss the passion that existed before we became overwhelmed with careers, parenting, and building a life and home for our family. I just wrote about this in the following post. glennbabies(dot)blogspot (dot)com / 2013/06/chasing-fairy- tales

Hi Angela. Thanks for stopping by!

Marriage goes through phases, depending on the roles and responsibilities of life at the time.

When we were in the throes of child-rearing, there was little time and energy for passion. We did manage to squeak in some together time here and there and that was very important! Just being able to lie in bed together at the end of a long day to talk about why we were doing all of this helped. Laughing. Feeling the joy and gratitude. Making time for those crucial date nights when we could get out and be a couple. Did you ever see "Date Night" with Tina Fey and Steve Carrel? So true and funny.

Now that our children are adults, we look back at the flurry of activity and recognize how lucky we were to experience it all. We were exhausted and stressed so much of the time but it really was a privilege to be parents.

Now, we are in our 50s and still young enough to appreciate the past, embrace the presents and hope for the future. And passion? We're still madly in love with each other. Believe me, if you love each other, the passion is there. It just falls down the to-do and priority list when you have kids. But the passion still smolders like a burning ember, ready to re-ignite when you fuel it.

True. But is passion only about sexuality? It is possible to feel passionate towards each other without physical intercourse, no?

But speaking about the physical, I think that aging calls for being creative and adaptive in bed. The hormone drops don't help though! Being unwell, on the other hand, certainly diminishes one's ability (in desire and performance).

I think it was Kurt Vonnegut who was quoted as saying, "Sex after (a certain age) is just friction." That made me laugh. But there is truth to that, regardless of one's age, if the hormones aren't kicking in.

I love all of the comments. We are going to celebrate our 34th anniversary in a little over a month. We have been together longer than we have been apart. Friendship and commitment have carried us through rough times. Passion has provided the spark that fueled the friendship and commitment. They are all important to us.

Hey Lori,

As usual another great topic. I love it. Thanks for posting this topic, make sure you stop by and post it on my t page. Thanks for being you.