BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Mental Health The False Self

Most of us present different sides of ourselves depending on the situation. It is necessary to live in a social world. But what happens when we lose the ability to express our authentic selves spontaneously and creatively all or most of the time? When can our 'false self" become unhealthy?

The False Self

Great article!

Thank you so much Debbie

Just got done reading the article.

Goodness !

That requires a lot of self-discipline and control and setting limits.

My mother was extremely depressed, and somehow I have learned to negate my own wants, needs and desires to satisfy those who have become a part of our extended family, namely our customers in a mom & pop motel setting.

I was ashamed of my wants, needs and desires and I falsely put others first in a passive-aggressive sort of way.

It taken decades to figure this out, but I strive to come to resolution amongst the conflicting messages I have gotten and do get.

hi doc, in my line of work i come across the false self all the time.i think your article is very ineresting.though if i may i d say our false self develops in places where we weren srong enough,true as a baby we are very limited,very dependant,at the same being a baby is a period where a map is set from past developments and a ground for fuure developments. as to our social life it isn t real man made and in no way ever takes into account our true selves,to go further society as it is today where the false self is dominant,prevens the fulfillmen of anyone which can only be achieved through the true self.developping our false self doesn t make us grow or evolve.the worst is when a guy becomes president or pope through his false self,imagine the damage. but i akes time when born to apprehend this world,so yes it necessary to adapt sometimes and create a false self but knowing to limit it to certain things so as to remember who we are and until we can create our own space and own life for our rue self to develop. having gone back to work recently temporarily,i had to put up a kind of false self where i need to do things i don want to,i cannot really fake enjoyment but hide my pain to others so as to not aract any attention,bu i don t hide to myself.i could obviously forget myself in the long run. also i spoke of limit your false self behaviour as everyhing your false self sends out into the world will come back to you. society truly divides us,it is a mild schizophrenia and completly unhealthy.

Thank you for taking time to read my article and for sharing your thoughts.
I agree that our false self can continue to grow, as we grow, in response to different experiences and people. What we must try to do here (which is not always easy) is to surround ourselves with compassionate, loving, and kind people so that we have more opportunities to let our true self shine.

It is true that some people conduct themselves in the world through a dysfunctional/damaged false self and that is detrimental, as you have said.

It is difficult at times to hide our true selves when we want so much to express that part of our self. Feel good to know that you are aware of these parts of yourself and that you know when to let go and when to hold back so as to keep yourself safe. When a person is aware of the different sides he/she must show to adapt to society, he/she can feel more whole and real and true to themselves without feelings of shame and/or discomfort.