I had been attending a therapy group, and had become very friendly with another married woman at the group. We were similar in age and both had young children of the same age. We both shared a similar sense of humour, and even though my friend was friendly with other women in the group, she seemed to treat me as her special friend. I didn't really get involved with any of the other women at the group on a day to day basis, as most of them were a lot older than me. But, my friend had known them before she knew me.
We had gone away together with others from the group for weekends. Anyway, two and a half years in, my friend invited me to her home for lunch one day. When I got there we started to share secrets, as was the norm in the group. When she told me she had separated from her husband prior to joining the group, as she had become involved in a sexual relationship with another woman. I was OK with that, but was a bit shocked at the time as I hadn't expected her to share that. However, she then tried to seduce me. I think I was a bit insensitive in my response, and she seemed embarrassed and hurt by my rejection of her advances. I laughed, (but it was a nervous reaction, as I didn't know how to react).
However, she was involved with the group facilitator who was openly gay, and who was also providing individual counselling to my friend. When I returned to the group I was isolated, and my friend was spreading rumours telling other people in the group not to believe anything I told them. It became really uncomfortable for me. I also felt a bit betrayed as I felt my friend had not trusted me to keep her secret from the rest of the group, and was colluding with her counsellor to isolate me. I decided to leave.
I didn't hear from either the facilitator or any of the other people in the group again. It left me with a big hole. First, I missed my friend, even though I felt angry with her, as I blamed her for my becoming isolated in the group. Secondly, I also lost respect for the group facilitator, as I felt her behaviour had been disingenuous, as I felt that she had colluded with my friend to isolate me, and that it was not the sort of behaviour she advocated for the group.
My friend became very vindictive in her attitude to me. I just wanted to forget about it and for us to continue to be friends, but it felt like there was a huge rift between us and that she wouldn't forgive me for something and wanted to punish and isolate me, and I don't even understand why ? She knew that I wanted our friendship to continue, but she didn't appear to want that ? Couldn't we have continued to be just good friends ?
Last edited by Bella123; 04/28/13 05:03 PM.