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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
BellaOnline Editor Koala
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BellaOnline Editor Koala
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691 |
Ok, so I'll start my list, too. For Valentine's Day a long time ago, I gave him a list of 100 things I loved about him. We didn't have money for gifts and so I gave him this. I'll never forget the look on his face as he read it. He just beamed.
And I meant every word. Just writing that list made my heart swell with more love for him.
If anyone is having marital problems, I encourage you to make your own list. You'll be surprised to see how your feelings move from negative to positive all over again.
I will add to this list slowly or it will grow long quickly!
1. His wit and sense of humor. He still makes me laugh and that lightens up life a lot. 2. His adorable dimpled grin. Especially when he does something he's proud of or makes a really silly joke. 3. How he always, always compliments me and thanks me for making his meals. Even when it was not so good. 4. How he reaches for my hand, turns it over and kisses my palm while he's driving. 5. He he tells me he loves me every day, throughout the day. 6. His intelligence. 7. His ability to fix things. That is such a turn-on to me and I don't know why. I love handymen. 8. How he honestly sees me as cute when I am rather homely. 9. How his steadiness tempers my flightiness. 10. How he still and always desires me. 11. How he sticks through the bad times.
Uh oh. Getting long.
I want to encourage wives to post their thoughts here because even when a marriage has its down sides, it does have its up sides and when you recognize those, the negative stuff seems to melt away or at least not seem so threatening after all.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808
BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
Lori.....I like your list so far! It will be nice to read more.
Thank you for encouraging me to post here even though I was not married. Funny thing, the medium I visited said that my boyfriend was coming through as my husband. She felt that we were married, and maybe in a way we really were, without the rings and all of that.
Posting all of his wonderful qualities for the world to see made me feel really good. It makes me realize yet again what a magnificent human being he really was. He made me feel good just being in his presence. We didn't have to be doing anything in particular at all.
No human being is perfect, and he certainly had a flaw or two. But I chose to always look at his good side, so it just flows out of me easily. I am an unconditional love kind of person and once I love you, well, I just do forever no matter what. One thing I did not love about him was his tendency to focus on my flaws. And sometimes he was pessimistic about the progress and status of our relationship. It used to bug me to no end because I wished he could view things like I did and focus on all the positives (funny thing, he could be positive about life in general though). After much thought and learning more about him after he passed, I think he was critical of me because he was critical of himself, something that he hid from me. There were things he was not proud of. I know he sees things more clearly now. He even told that to the medium. I was the one who could see clearly he said, and he was like a blind man, a man who cut off his nose to spite his face. Mmmmmhmmmmm.....
But I love him still, maybe even more so than when he was alive. I think he always had good intentions and never meant to hurt me, even when he did do that. I know he is a good soul and it makes me happy to remember all the good things about him that made my life so fulfilling. I noticed and appreciated all the little things very much, because he truly was a special man, and I knew deep inside that our time together was limited. I am so glad I chose to view him and our relationship that way.
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Jan 2010
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
And how could I ever forget.... -His gorgeous green eyes I never saw green eyes on a man before. His eyes matched mine
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Jan 2010
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
And....I especially loved when he put on an Italian accent (he was full-blooded Italian but his voice was weak and he didn't have an accent). He lowered his voice so it was soft, and said endearing things to me in Italian like "Cara mia" and "Bella". It was so sexy.... Even when he spoke in English with that "accent" it was such a turn on.
I know sometimes he thought he was being a little hoakie, but he did it because he knew I really enjoyed it.
I'm sure more will come to me......
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Jul 2012
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BellaOnline Editor Chipmunk
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OP
BellaOnline Editor Chipmunk
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,963 |
Oh, that is too cute, Debbie! I adore accents. My hubby once had a southern Texan drawl but dropped it real quick when he said he got picked on for having one as a kid when he moved to No. Cal. When talking with other Texans, his accent comes back real quick, and I find it adorable. My darlin' ol' cowboy. Yes, keep your list going!
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Joined: Jul 2012
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BellaOnline Editor Chipmunk
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OP
BellaOnline Editor Chipmunk
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,963 |
And speaking of gorgeous eyes...
My hubby has these pale blue eyes that are so sweet. Everyone in my family only have black or brown eyes so blue is quite a novelty.
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Joined: Apr 2005
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,025 |
Just found this thread I'm a visual person I'm afraid, like videos or being in front of a person, place or thing, being shown something. He's more, analytical, reads/writes a TON, reports and such. Between us, it works. I can describe what I'm feeling and he can take me to the physical where I can do something with it. He can describe something he feels, but cant find an answer physically and I can often times retrieve, at least a portion of where it is he can find whatever it is he's looking for. This pretty much describes it all though. This is a song he said just today, he'd listen to over and over and over..this is before we ever met, but could never find it again. I asked him to describe it. Well POOF!!! I'm seeing it in my head and it's on the internet. Not exactly the top 10 hits, but it's accurate, lol. The Sunscreen Song
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Joined: Jan 2010
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
I loved about my boyfriend...
-He was silly. He would goof around and lighten a mood with his words and gestures. It always made me smile or laugh.
-Being in his presence often made me feel very lighthearted and it took years off of me. I often felt very young being around him. I think it was because he lived in the moment and really enjoyed life, and that joy rubbed off on me.
-Once when he went to pick up some coffee for himself he brought back a jelly doughnut just because he knew I liked them. I never asked for it. It was a sweet gesture, and I cut it in half to share it with him.
-He may have not been very expressive in words about how he felt about me, but he showed me every day with the little things he did for me that he really cared
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Jul 2012
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BellaOnline Editor Chipmunk
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OP
BellaOnline Editor Chipmunk
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,963 |
Elleise, you and your husband are the interconnected and complementary yin and yang. Isn't it a beautiful thing once we recognize that we are not meant to duplicate each other but complement each other.
It has its times when it feels as though we are pushing, pulling and clashing but once we learn each other's strengths, we can release the resistance and do a beautiful dance of ebb and flow. I so value my husband's strengths. His weaknesses no longer bother, frustrate or disappoint me for now I know those are the areas where I must tap my own strengths.
It works. We work. And anyone who knows our marriage finds it just crazy because we have had more than our share of conflicts.
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Joined: Jul 2012
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BellaOnline Editor Chipmunk
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OP
BellaOnline Editor Chipmunk
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,963 |
Other things I love about him...
I love those rare times when he lets down his guard and has let me see his sensitive inner self. Once when his mother made a very cruel comment to him, he felt so hurt and sad. A tear rolled down his cheek and all I wanted to do was wrap him in my arms and protect him from anyone and anything that could wound him like that.
I also love the pride and joy on his face when he played with his children, our children.
I love how he protects all of us, being brave to check out noises from possible intruders.
I love how he let me have my three little chis even though he is a border collie guy.
I love how he always finds me to kiss me hello and good bye and when he takes computer breaks.
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