BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Life Coaching What do you do when you hit a big goal?

If you have a long-term goal that you've met, and you are happy with it, then what do you do? Do you have to set a higher goal, or can you be content with just maintaining it?

Some people even feel a sense of being let down (like post-partum depression), without having the structure of that goal to strive for.

For my recent achievement, I am just really pleased to be there, and wish to maintain it only. I quess I can move on to what else is on my goal list.

Was curious what other people usually end up doing/feeling?

This rarely happens to me so I can't say (been many years since this happens). I can say that when I start something and it goes well I often freak out (the last time this happened to me was when i was learning to drive...my third lesson went more than well and i was walking on clouds smiling and happy while walking to the bus stop and for some reason when the next lesson arrived the next day i was thinking that i could not do it then drove like a stupid idiot the whole lesson) and give up not long after. I know it may sound very strange and idiotic being afraid of succeeding but that's what happens to me. It may be because I am so used to not succeeding or it may be something else, not too sure but it is very annoying!

Nancy, fear of success is totally common. I have it all the time.

Once you do something well,people expect that to continue, and that is a lot of pressure and expectation...

I still have a weird feeling by not having to strive on amazon anymore.

I am now setting a big goal.

Jilly -

I think it all depends on the goal. Say my goal is to get my bachelor's degree. Once I have it, I am fine having it. I don't need to get another degree. So that is accomplished and I can focus my energies elsewhere. So that goal was an "end point".

There are other goals which are really more like milestones in an ongoing project. So say my goal is to get the sequel to Aspen Allegations published this year. Yes that is a good goal - and it's part of a larger goal to keep working on this series. So when that book is out and published, it is the stepping stone to getting book 3 worked on. So for goals that are sequential or ongoing like that, it is a step in the process.

I think if your goal was to get to level X in Amazon, and you've achieved that, then that is great! There's no need to stress yourself over moving higher when that isn't part of your overall time desire. Why kill yourself 12 hours a day to move higher, when it won't bring you anything you want? It's fine to have a goal to maintain that level while you then do other things. There's only one of you. It's even fine to let your ranking drop now that you've shown you could do that. Whatever makes sense to you.

Lisa, you are right - hitting my goal was what i really wanted. With being in the 500s i feel happy - and if it hits the 1000s every now and then (probably when I go to europe) I'll be fine with it.

Trying to hit the 100s just isn't on my list of interests - it seems like way too much work, and it also seems pretty cutthroat.

Do you think you will feel a little let down when you make your degree? I know it's not a logical thing, but it does happen to a lot of people.

Jilly -

It's great that you reached your goal, and wonderful that you're content with it! That is a real milestone .

I absolutely know that when I finish my last class part of me will be sad, because I have *adored* the classes. The teachers have been high quality. Many of them are well recognized in their fields.

The fellow students weren't "kids" - they were adults actively managing and working with people. So when I asked them about an issue, they chimed in with fantastic advice and suggestions. It was like having a dedicated board of directors there to help me with whatever the topic at hand was - writing effective web copy, handling legal issues, you name it. It was absolutely wonderful.

I think a big part of it is that I took the courses at Northeastern and more specifically in their CPS program which is for "professional studies" - i.e. it is specifically focused at working professionals. And then, being in the Leadership track, it meant my fellow students were specifically managers looking to build those motivation skills. So it was absolutely ideal.

I will miss that immensely. I'm not sure I can get that same environment of mid-level to high-level managers actively dedicated to developing mentoring skills, and dedicated to working on specific topics every single day, anywhere else. Most business groups only meet monthly, for example.

Lisa, I know what you mean - it's hard to lose one's 'pack'. I felt like I lost my outdoorsy-people pack when I got married, and never got that back. I've missed it ever since.

I need to find a way to create that kind of tribe for myself, and it sounds like you want one like that for your interests, too.

Jilly -

Absolutely you deserve to have an outdoorsy group of people who thrill with doing things with you.

In a way it's good that you didn't develop one up until now, because you'd be sad at leaving them when you move. So think of this as being the perfect progression. You're becoming healthy. You're planning out where you want to be in the world. You've learned SO much over the past years. And now when you settle somewhere you'll have the skills and experience necessary to build that tribe!