Lovely story Loong, thanks for sharing. What you describe about this person is very common I think. For myself I often find it helps me to wonder why someone might act this way. In people I have known who have this need for credit, there is often a deep-seated insecurity or sense of unworthiness. So they are always seeking to be validated outside themselves. When I realize this, I can feel it in them - this sense of unworthiness, and then the compassion flows.
Usually the most abrasive people we know are the most damaged. When we really realize this, it is easier to feel compassion. Of course, this doesn't excuse other's behavior. We shouldn't allow ourselves to be abused. But we can draw boundaries and insist upon respect from others while still holding them compassionately in our heart.
I love these personal stories you share because this is how we each really practice in our daily lives, right? I will try to share more stories too, things will be less busy for me soon and I will be here more I hope...

"...while holding them compassionately in my heart..."

Lisa, that is just beautiful.

To all or none,
I also am member of buddhist groups,where exchanges are often not for a beginner.
This morning while checking ,the member that writes the most,wrote that he has disdain for homeless people,and could not have Compassion for them.

My answer to his affirmation ,was that most homeless,are mentally I'll,alcoolics,drug addicts.
So I told him you better have disdain for me.At the age of 30 almost died of abuse,had 3 mental sickness or disease,and oh yes my brain was very damaged,due to atheriosclorosis of the brain.

Told him ,it is easy to have compassion for likeable persons,but it is when a person really needs Compassion,then more than ever,let the flower of Compassion bloom in the direction of those who really need it

Loong the learner

So true! For me, it is easier for me to feel compassion for the downtrodden than for those in power who abuse their power. So it is harder for me to feel compassion for those whose views or actions I feel are dangerous, cruel, or wrong. But of course, true metta practice asks us to try and generate this too! One of the steps in traditional metta meditation is to practice generating lovingkindness towards 'our enemies' or whomever we feel is a threat to us or what we believe. I think that is the hardest one. Of course this doesn't mean we can't oppose the other's views or fight against them in public, but doing this while still holding compassion for them is the true challenge of Buddhism. Both the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh have spoken of this, as well as many of the Lamas who were held in captivity by the Chinese...amazing really.

To all or none,

Readind the Tibetn Book of...........,I discovered that Tibetan buddhist believe in re-incarnation,not in rebith..

They remember past lives or actions as if it were their past lives.
In rebith what we might sometimes see is like :deja vue:
Memories that are not necesserely ours but impregnated in the karma
Of many carriers of such karma.

So who is right and who is wrong?

Loong

Hi Loong, I think the Tibetan Buddhist teachings are of rebirth, not reincarnation. I realize that books like The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying use the word 'reincarnation' (as do many translated Buddhist texts) but that is just because Western audiences are more familiar with this word. Tibetan Buddhism does not posit an eternal soul, spirit or essence that migrates from body to body - that is reincarnation. As with all Buddhism it instead teaches the continuation of certain skandhas, and that may manifest as memories.

This is the way I understand it anyway. What in the text has made you think otherwise, besides the use of the word 'reincarnation'?

dear Lisa ,
It's not the using of the word re-incarnation that bugs me,it is the capacity to seem to have to find in an 11 month child the
aspect a
of a deported Tibetan ,never any other country.
I read an article similar to that where a small town ,would recognise signs of past relative ,knowing it was the dead person.
A young child will look like his father.

Why is it then that never a Dalai-lama was found out of tibet.

Sorry for my writing style ,I am now in a turmoil,regarding beleifs,truth etc.

Still Are my Moderator.
loong

By the way ,he did not use ,the word re-incarnation.It is the
way the events happen that I consider it re-incarnation ,
in this book the absenbce of soul has not yet been mentionned if I remember right.
loong
p.s. Do you remember the film KUNDUN,Where a 4 years old child found in a far away destinguishes the dead lama pieces,and also everyone surprise,he opens apiece of furniture anf finds the wooden teeth of the same lama.!
loong

There actually have been Tibetan lamas found outside Tibet, although so far never a Dalai Lama. The current Dalai Lama has alluded to the idea that perhaps he will not reincarnate, and at times when speaking in the West has even seemed to suggest he may think this is an oudated custom, although I don't think he's ever completely come out and said this, as the Tibetan people are very attached to it, and him, and this custom is deeply embedded in the culture.

I don't defend it, it part of Tibetan Buddhism as 'religion', and that's not the part I relate to. But you will find that all branches of Buddhism have 'religious' arms, that have customs and traditions that are rooted in custom and culture more than teachings. This is very true of Theraveda Buddhism too, as it is practiced within many Buddhist countries. There are millions of Buddhists worldwide, and they all relate to it slightly differently. But you don't have to relate to it that way, just relate to the teachings directly, those that resonate with you, and practice, that is what matters.

Dear Teacher,

I am reading ,Tibetan Buddhism,now.To have the Knowledge of their beleifs.All the other Mahayana lineages ,I will not study.
I have made my choice,my beleifs.
S.Rinpoche writes of 4 bardos.Wiki of 6.You having been a student for many years ,what is your:beleif:?

I am slowly coming back in control of Rigpa.

Thank you for being there for me.It we were in Zen.I beleive the word would be O Sensi

_/\_
loong