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#807348 - 02/22/13 10:39 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: JOY ( Self Development )]
eZone Fashion Offline
Newbie

Registered: 01/27/13
Posts: 10
sorry Joy.I just realised I gave the wrong email address. That was the email I had been having for years, but the service provider no longer wans to support residentila emails. My email is seleneml@starhub.net.sg or selenelim8@pacific.net.sg thanks again

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#807561 - 02/23/13 03:37 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: JOY ( Self Development )]
SandrinaFlorentina Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 9
Loc: Tel Aviv, Israel
Dear Joy Thank you so much for your words of encouragement! The topic at hand is &quot;What do you do?&quot;, whether or not this is the correct question to ask, and if so, how to appropriately reply to it. I think the question is indeed appropriate, but follow-up queries might be: &quot;Do you like what you do?&quot;, and &quot;What would you like to do?&quot;, which would open up a broad avenue for surprising replies... In my case, I no longer like what I do. I hate going to work too early in the morning, and coming home too late at night. I hate being disturbed during my evenings or weekends (the latest was a phone call at 02:30, [b]this AM[/b]). I could go on, but that would be redundant ranting, let's just say that I do what I do because I'm good at it, and it pays the bills (just), but I don't like my job. Now you ask &quot;What is the worst that could happen if you took a certain step?&quot;. Well, that's exactly what is holding me back. I have been a single Mum for almost 17 years now, will soon have to see one of my kids through medical school, so I can't afford to lose my income, not even for a short while. If that weren't an issue, I might just open a physical business and get it over with. On the other hand, I've lately been remembering how freeing it was to get divorced (not promoting divorce here, please stay happily married if you can), [b]after thinking about it for 6 years[/b], and how many people told me then that I suddenly radiated happiness. I'll check out any leads that I can find, and again, thank you for taking the time to respond! Sandrina

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#808870 - 02/28/13 05:52 PM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
This is still a stressful question for me. I went out with Erin, the RV Editor, last week, and we met some people around a beach fire. They asked me what I do.

I panicked and starting making stuff up. For the rest of the evening, I was anxious.

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#808962 - 03/01/13 03:18 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
SandrinaFlorentina Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 9
Loc: Tel Aviv, Israel
Hi Jilly I once left a company because (among other issues), my job wasn't outlined at all. On my business card it said &quot;coordinator&quot;, while in reality I provided assistance to every single department in the office (events organiser). After one year I asked the CEO to give me more responsibility, and to give me a proper title, and he refused. I left then, because I went through similar anxiety issues when asked what I did. I was even embarrassed to hand out my business card, because then people would always ask what exactly it was that I did, and I would find it difficult to explain. I'm also the worst liar in the world, so just inventing something was not an option... You should probably sit down with yourself for a while, and write on a piece of paper what you ought to say next time you are asked that question.

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#809116 - 03/02/13 03:59 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Skin Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/28/13
Posts: 17
[quote=Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]I am quite fortunate; I feel quite joyful when I talk with people about what I do. I love BellaOnline and what we achieve here, that we help people learn about writing and thriving on the web and we help charity at the same time. It makes me quite happy, and I'm proud to share the news of it with people I meet. [/quote] Well I am very impressed and that want to thanks to share all this information with us.It will really help us to get the right things.

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#809117 - 03/02/13 04:41 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
SandrinaFlorentina Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 9
Loc: Tel Aviv, Israel
It's very useful to see that there are indeed people who feel good when they talk about what they do. That's only possible when you love what you do, when you feel that you make a difference, or when what you do is very creative. My first job in tourism was in the tourist office of the city of Antwerp. I love that city, even if I no longer live there, it has so many beautiful spots and stories and anecdotes. Talking to the tourists and advising them where to go and what to do to make their visit really worth while, was quite rewarding. I loved that job, and had I not moved to a different country, that is probably where I would have stayed for the rest of my career. I was proud to say what I did. What I do now is quite different, although I have no problems telling people what I do: I am a tour operator, I bring groups of tourists to this country. But I no longer feel proud of what I do, because I no longer enjoy it. It's become a very administrative task, and since I work in a big company, there is just too much paperwork involved. Writing would be a good alternative for me, but I live in a country where English (or Flemish) is not the first language...

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#809843 - 03/05/13 07:30 PM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: SandrinaFlorentina]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Hi Sandrina. I have been trying to memorize what exactly to say when asked this, but i keep getting flustered and forget. I should just be honest and say "I am not comfortable with the question."

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#809916 - 03/06/13 09:59 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Jilly]
SandrinaFlorentina Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 9
Loc: Tel Aviv, Israel
Well Jilly, I can't say that I would recommend memorising an appropriate reply. Last summer I did a course on starting a business, and one of the assignments was to create an &quot;elevator pitch&quot;, memorise it, and then do it in front of the class. No one did it, and frankly, even though I know that it exists in the modern-day business world where every opportunity to network has to be utilised to its full potential, I will never be part of something as superficial as that. On the other hand, if I asked someone &quot;What do you do?&quot; (to me that's a perfectly honest question, as I am always sincerely interested in everything about a person, where they are from, where they were, where they are going, children and family, etc, etc...), and the person would tell me they're not comfortable with the question, I would probably imagine that they do something lowly or shameful, or that they are in the secret service or something like that...:)

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#810167 - 03/07/13 03:23 PM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
Lol, about lowly or shameful. I can see that. They are welcome to think that. Or about the secret service. :-)

Mainly, I don't like being asked questions by people I don't know. I have Aspergers and face to face interaction is stressful. My go-to response is utter honesty, and that translates into saying awkward things like, "I don't like being asked questions by strangers."

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#810240 - 03/08/13 03:09 AM Re: What Do You Do? [Re: Jilly]
SandrinaFlorentina Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 9
Loc: Tel Aviv, Israel
You could always dodge the question, say something like: I'm not here to talk shop...? Although having people suspect that you might be a spy or a treasure hunter or something like that is really funny... :)

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