Jilly,
Can you try and think (when you feel a bit less anxious) what sparked the initial increase in anxiety?

I know how you feel Jilly! I always felt worthless but since moving here it is worst. Sometimes I just say (when im alone in the house i actually scream it) to myself how useless I am which is something I did not do before. And now with physical health issues it is worst, that's the one thing that was always going well for me and now it's gone. I actually haven't cried in a few weeks and I think it's all about to come out. I did have a panic attack not too long ago and was very close to another one Monday but no tears.

I did get some crying out and that helped. I will think about what the triggers might have been.

Jilly,
I hope you are feeling better today.

Nancy,
Trying to find possible triggers to a panic attack will help greatly in trying to reduce the frequency of them or the intensity of them.

Sometimes the trigger is not what happened on that day....

That will be hard to find since a lot of bad things happened in my life.

Nancy,
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound so easy/simple. What I meant was sometimes an upcoming event or some seemingly minor interaction or experience in the days leading up to the panic feelings can be the trigger.
It helps when you work with your therapist on this as together you can brainstorm what has been recently going on in your life that may have triggered old hurts/pain.

I know you did not meant to say that it was easy. And I do not have a therapist, there are one or more here (i think...not too sure) but if I ever feel the need to have one (never did except when i was forced to see 1 when i was in high school..i finally got the nerves to say that i was being bullied then i was rewarded by being sent to a psychiatrist because apparently it was all my fault...never talked when i was there so finally my parents got fed up [i got yelled at for a while that time and got it thrown back at my face a few more times] and they stopped forcing me to go there) I will find one far from here like one of my neighbor did. What I really need is a hug and being told "I love you" (never ever got any of these 2 things) and a therapist (pills too) cannot do that.

Nancy,
I am so sorry....

I hope that in your adult life you can find those that do love you. You deserve it.

Sometimes people don't give us what we need because they are not capable. You have heard the saying, "You can't give what you don't have."

And while it is true that a therapist and pills cannot "give hugs or say I love you", therapy can help you find yourself - the self that is a loving, beautiful, compassionate person. Sometimes we forget that positive aspect of ourselves from years of defending ourselves from painful experiences and relationships.

My mom keeps on saying that she never got love when she was young and I do not think it is a valid excuse. If I ever have kids I will love them and show them I love them. At least my parents have always been there in other ways. My dad working like crazy to provide a roof, food and every other important things. My mom also sacrificed in other ways for those important things. When I turned eighteen years old I spent more than a year inside the house not going out (not even in our yard), sleeping, eating, watching television and crying. Other parents would of thrown me out but they did not; it would of been helpful though if they would of at least ask what was wrong! I am still living with them at thirtysix years old (no job and no money). My parents (my dad drove then waited next to the doors..my mom next to me) were there the two times I went to the hospital lately, again no other help but at least I was not completely alone I guess. Speaking of that I went to the hospital again this morning (that second time...i called to get an emergency appointment with my doctor buts shes on vacation this week so i asked for another doctore and they refused) and I got a real doctor this time (i did not know they could be found here!!!)! She asked me to fully explain what was going on then she asked questions followed by a full examination. Then I received blood tests and another test (the thing we see fetuses with but focused on the neck) and everything is normal (i even got the red and white cells vitamins and other things checked...been SEVERAL years since i had that done). Turns out the rude doctor was right (she still should of done all those tests and NOT CALL ME CRAZY), it was all the stress accumulated that gradually came out after that awful filling on that once normal tooth (by the way it still hurts the doc said she could do nothing about that so ill try the last of the 3 dentists available here so im hoping that 1 is normal!!!!!) and it finally was just too much (theres probably all the other stress plus the depression that also came out). And that tooth's problem is not an infection so I chewed forty antibiotics for absolutely nothing, nice isn't it? She did try to make me try antidepressants but after I told her that when nothing is wrong physically with me I can control my depression and function normally (which is true...if not then i would of had that happen before that since i was really feeling bad mental wise ESPECIALLY since Michael Schumacher said that he was retiring again [the first 3 years were not as bad thanks to him]) she accepted it. I did asked for something for the just in case occasions (awful days...panic attacks...not being able to sleep due to stress) and she prescribed ten Ativan (0.5----my mom has them in 1 and her too is just in case so i took 1 and cut it in half and will try 1 tonight right before bed to see if thatll work with me or now). I had two tiny scares during my meal back from the hospital and one big after that same meal then the last meal went almost perfectly, I was feeling that way (thinking of choking...thinking something is stuck...pains) for a while now so it will take a few days probably to shake it all out of me. If at the end of the month I am still getting these symptoms with my neck and throat then that will mean that I cannot function normally then I will be open to try something which I have to take daily.

Nancy,
I hope you are feeling better today.
Can you see an ear, nose and throat doctor for your current symptoms of neck pain and feelings of choking?
Just a thought.
Sorry you are going through all this...