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#806202 - 02/14/13 04:18 PM Re: Job Offer - Don't Know Whether To Accept [Re: nola615]
loongdragon Offline

Registered: 09/21/12
Posts: 2200
Loc: Mont Tremblant,quebec Can
Dear Nola,
I am now retired ,but worked very hard all my life.In 1983 the first recession happened.At That time I was earning $32,000. a year,that's in 1983.Because of the recession lost my job ,my little house,and since I did not want to move to the city,I started working,as a dishwasher ,janitor ,in a chinese restaurant
for $4.00 an hour.Compare $32,000 to $ 4.00 anhour.I found a shack in the forest built out of plywood,lived there 22 years.
Water froze 7 winters out of 22.The job after the diswashing was
$5,00 an hour gas station attendant.Then started working as an Antique Restaurer,at $ 6.50 an hour,no running water ,almost no heat no toilet ,had to do our #2 on a rag at -30 degess and put it in the container.My boss was not a good person but At least I could work yearound.After 8 years my salary was at $ 14.00 anhour.

Started my own Antique shop.At one point I worked 103 days in a
row 12 hours a day.Got a partner that became my 50/50.We became madly in love.But the good times lasted 6 months then she got
hypertyroidal problems.one morning she says she is wether leaving or buying my share.I had started atherioscloris of the brain.She offered me an amount ,and asked less than she offered.She paid me part of the money,then about 1 year after our separation ,she phones me that she is going bankrupt,putting in what she owed me.So I was left with $800. a month with arent of $ 575. I ate spaguetti sauce for a year going to Food banks.

Did find some work in my business,but for others.Then I reached 65 retirement day .Since then I have been living with about $1,700 net a month.Living like a king.

By your writings you do not seem to be old,and got caught in your
dreams.The dreams of most 25/35 ,big house,big car big job.
Maxed credit card etc. I might seem harder than the others that wrote to you.Why do you need such a big house?


#806219 - 02/14/13 11:52 PM Re: Job Offer - Don't Know Whether To Accept [Re: loongdragon]
nola615 Offline

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 16
Dear Loong, Thank you for writing to me and I really appreciate your input. From what you are saying, I should let the house go and take the job in the big city. Thank you for sharing your experience.

#806244 - 02/15/13 04:26 AM Re: Job Offer - Don't Know Whether To Accept [Re: nola615]
Lori-Dreams Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Registered: 07/27/12
Posts: 1963
Nola, I think that you are so frightened because you don't want to make the "wrong" move but in life, there are few such black-and-white choices. All choices will lead to different experiences. We have a hard time making decisions when the choices are not between good and bad but between good and good, bad and bad.

You are in a hard spot because both choices have drawbacks.

If you move, you will experience some hardships--financially--but have the "security" of having a job that will bring in some immediate money. You won't have the security of a permanent job but no one does until she passes the probation period anyway. You will lose your house and have to come up with extra money just to break even. Talk about pressure! And loss. :*(

If you stay, you will experience some hardships, too. Namely, not knowing when the money will come in again as well as having to let go of your house. However, you will have a lower cost of living.

Both provide serious consequences. Loong is a Buddhist and is not attached to things. I understand that. My suggestion to keep the house was not based in material ownership but the security of having a roof over your head. You'll have to pay rent anyway but when you pay your mortgage, you have a house with which to do as you please including renting out rooms, running a daycare business or whatever.

So, really, the choice is yours. There is no wrong choice here. Both are difficult choices. Both will cause you to continue to work very hard every month.

The good news is that you have degrees in very good fields. Are you looking to be a paralegal? The MBA is fantastic, too. Have you considered consulting out of your home until you get a job? What about small business and start-ups consulting. Helping others who need business advice for starting their own companies?

You are young but it never hurts to have a side business that might turn into a full-time business.

Good luck and let us know what you decide!
Lori Phillips
Dreams editor

Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

Marriage editor
Bellaonline Marriage site
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

#806245 - 02/15/13 04:44 AM Re: Job Offer - Don't Know Whether To Accept [Re: nola615]
loongdragon Offline

Registered: 09/21/12
Posts: 2200
Loc: Mont Tremblant,quebec Can
To all,

what you are saying, I should let the house go and take the job in the big city.

Sorry to say ,please reread my text ,there are no places that I tell you to sell your house or anything.What I was sharing is
life,brings us ,leads us to situations that we have to face.
Each situation that I lived were meant for me.
Buddhism has nothing to do with that.I never (been warned) use
the mentality or phylosophy of Buddhism as soon as I go out of that section .All I did is share my life,period.If in what you read you saw something ,fine.Whom am I to give advice to people.

#806453 - 02/17/13 03:46 AM Re: Job Offer - Don't Know Whether To Accept [Re: nola615]
Maria - Prime Time TV Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Registered: 02/22/09
Posts: 1197
Loc: Stockbridge, GA

I was in a similar situation as yourself. I left corporate America many years ago to work for myself. I loved it. However, a job offer came along that I thought I couldn't refuse and I took it. 10 years later, I'm still working in the same field. While the money I make is great, in many ways I regret going back to corporate America.

If I could do it again, I would definitely have "stuck it out" working for myself. Even if I had to pick up a second job waiting tables or something.

Ultimately only you know which decision is best for you but you sound like you are very intelligent and have already persevered through some hardships. Find resolve in the fact that you will be able to get through the situation, no matter which decision you choose.

**side note: can't you put those student loans on deferment?
Maria Brown, Editor

Prime Time TV Site
Prime Time TV Forum

#806509 - 02/17/13 11:32 AM Re: Job Offer - Don't Know Whether To Accept [Re: nola615]
nola615 Offline

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 16
Hi Maria, Thank you for the positive and support reply. It really heartened me and gave me some food for thought. All I do lately is cry and think about what to do! As for the student loans, Sallie Mae won't budge. I got 3 months deferment - that is the most I can get over the life of the loans. ARGH

#815490 - 04/08/13 01:00 AM Re: Job Offer - Don't Know Whether To Accept [Re: nola615]
Dianne W - Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 5253
Loc: Virginia
Nola, We have not heard from you in awhile. Hoping you're doing ok.
Dianne Walker

Action Movie Editor, Launch Manager
Action Movies Site

How do I relax? I run!
Grandma to Half Marathon

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