God Love you and keep you.

I do not like the flurry of activity in preparing to go anywhere!

I had my step-daughter and grandchildren here for 10 days.

And the day leading up to departure was not fun.

I pray to all the forces that are good to keep you healthy and balanced while you prepare.

Florida is pretty and maybe somehow the universe will grant you to come back and stay.

But, not right now.

Know that you have my prayers and positive thoughts while you go through the process of preparing for your journey.

May you arrive safely and mentally and physically intact.

I already see the journey as a success and you back home.

-- Burt B.

High anxiety right now and in a swamp of low self esteem. Taking two ativan and a buspar, since I don't remember if i took one earlier today.

Annnd, I just dropped my meds now all over the floor....

The two ativan last night helped tremendously. I was able to finally calm down and feel stable again.

I took an ambien at 4am, when I woke up and couldn't stop ruminating. I was able to sleep very comfortably after that.

I haven't had to take any As Needed meds today (yet), but i am back on my daily meds and that helps a great deal. I need to update this week's progress, but suffice to say right now that two nights ago I had a meltdown.

It was pitiful. I was in a ball on the cold tile kitchen floor, clutching a towel and crying. Nothing important actually instigated this. I was just overstimulated.

But then yesterday and today were nice and peaceful.

Been a bit off my game since I got to CA - just too much going on and not enough personal space. Last night i took an ambien to get to calm my brain enough to sleep, and the night before I took two ativan.

I took an ativan saturday day and sunday day - and the one i took on sunday really didn't do anything for me. I had a bad day. And then Monday I was just anxious and irritated over nothing the entire day. I feel anxious today too, but not as irritable.

I think I've been taking more meds here in So CA than I ever have at once.

I should think about that.

Last night I was able to get to sleep without taking anything for it. It was hard to calm my mind down. I did dream, but it didn't feel like crazy dreams, so I am satisfied.

Today I didn't even need any as-needed meds for anxiety. I was anxious at several points, but was able to relax after and not have a melt-down. While i spent the day in bed mostly, i did enjoy the sunshine and palm trees through my window, and did get a few small things done in the evening.

I tossed and turned for a few hours, but was finally able to get to sleep last night - without ambien. And I woke up feeling rested. No disturbing dreams.

Feels great,doesn't it?
keep on girl

your friend
loong/norm

Thanks, Loong. :-)

I ended up with disturbing dreams this morning, strangely enough. I might be seeing a pattern with sleeping in? I will start noting how late I sleep in on the days when I have disturbing dreams.

Hi Jilly, I wanted to also commend you on your wellness plan. I have one for when I'm beginning to have an episode. My husband and psychiatrist have copies if I can't remember it. It starts with taking Alprazolam, then acknowledging/accepting the situation/day's events, whatever, without judging the event or people (including myself);just observing. Then comes distraction, for which I have several fun activities listed. Then comes self soothing. I have: put on ipod; or take a bath; or buy some flowers, etc. If none of those have helped and I'm still spiraling down, I need to call my psychiatrist and just go sit in his office until he can fit me in. While I'm waiting I continue to the safe-place visualizations and my safe word que. I've been trained to relax my body when I hear, read or speak this word. My safe word is Peace. I have this detailed plan written out so I can utilize it quickly instead of firing up my computer. It has really helped a number of times.