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#805789 - 02/13/13 01:21 AM Re: The Goddess [Re: Linda, Tarot Editor]
ancientflaxman Offline

Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 965
Loc: in the middle of Minnesota
Debbie, you never have to apologize for your human side. Our seeming “flaws” are our strengths. By opening yourself up in this way in such beautiful transparency and honesty you will receive healing from sources that you may not even understand or be able to comprehend. Deb, I an in no wise saying that you are ignorant of anything, I am just saying that mankind recognizes only very limited resources in spiritual matters.

Grief is a spirit that we learn how to move out of the way. We can be taught about how to do this in dreams, day visions, or by another person with that particular gift of healing. It is the same with the spirit of sickness. It can be disallowed and removed from the human condition. Who has taught us how to do these things in this modern culture?? This has been hidden from us for centuries for obvious reasons. NO MORE.

First we must recognize these things as being of a spirit form. Then we restrict its affect and eventually move it away completely.

The fact that we don’t believe in them gives them their power. The great Mother has shown this to our family centuries ago. We were truly hated because the spirits that mankind conjured and sent towards us had no power over us as we saw them coming. I hope that this helps you and through the process of healing keep in mind that the thing that would hurt you is a very real thing that you have ultimate power over.

Your trust on here will be met with love and healing energy. My love to you Deb “HUG” ,,,dave

#805809 - 02/13/13 01:47 AM Re: The Goddess [Re: ancientflaxman]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4789
Dave....thank you for your kind words. I am comforted by them.

I don't open up this deeply very often here, because I don't want to be a downer to others. Everyone has their own burdens of one sort or another. Grief is very tough, and I really don't want to portray myself as just a grieving person. But it is always there in varying degrees of intensity.

A little while back I was feeling "tired" of the down feeling inside, and ready to live again. I want to find someone new to share my life with. I just know I am the kind of person meant to be with a partner. With every day my human body gets older, but I really want one more good chance at being in love again. I have so much to give a partner, and I truly enjoy the companionship with another compatible human being. I don't delude myself into thinking that I would have this partner until the day I die, but a few more years of sharing, giving, and receiving would do my soul good.

The one year anniversary of his passing was very tough for me. Since then I have gone a bit backwards in my emotions but I know this is normal. I do meet it head on and face it, feel it, and let go of as much as I can. I know I will get through this, but it just takes me a long time to get through these things. I love very deeply and with every cell of my body. Being highly sensitive is a gift, but at times it can be very painful. Still, I know I will heal and I have hope that I will be happy again. I feel that it is my right and my destiny to find love again.

The right one does not just land on the doorstep though. And that is a bit frightening, because there are many who do not respect honest, giving love, and would take advantage of it. I have already been rejected by one I reached out to, but I don't let that bother me. I only want to be with someone who feels the same for me as I do for him, so there is no need to go after the wrong match.

As for my sweet boyfriend, I feel like he was a once in a lifetime. He was certainly very different than anyone I ever met, man or woman. I won't have that exact relationship again, and I will miss it as long as I live, in some fashion. But I am willing to try again some day to find another caring soul.

To help with my healing I will be visiting a clairvoyant/medium soon. She may be able to facilitate a connection with my boyfriend, and may shed some light on my personal energy. I am looking forward to it, and I may share some of that experience with you all here.

Dave....thank you again for responding. It means a lot to me to find caring support here. When we fall it is nice to see a hand reaching out to help us back up.

The Mother will show compassion to Her children in pain. I am sure of it. Blessed Be.
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

#806033 - 02/14/13 12:53 AM Re: The Goddess [Re: Linda, Tarot Editor]
ancientflaxman Offline

Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 965
Loc: in the middle of Minnesota
Just another silly little dream.

I was not satisfied with the amount of money that I had in my bank account so I got a better job. I worked and worked at the new job but it seemed that the more I worked I found that there were newer and better things out there than what I had. I began to observe my old washing machine and my older car. The washing machine works fine but it is just older and I really like the looks of the new line that I see on T.V. My car works just fine but when I look on the road it seems like everybody has a newer one than me.

My mortgage is high but I have quite a bit of equity in my house. I think that I will sell it and buy a tri or four plex. I can then live in one unit and rent out the rest. I just have this one major problem !!!! I work and work at my new job and I cannot get to where I want to be. It seems like I am just trading X number of hours worked for X number of dollars. That old system just doesn’t cut it anymore.

Look, if I can maybe start a business of my own I can then have a number of people working for me to where my X units of hours worked is now multiplied and the money is now going into my pocket instead of how it used to be.

Wow, my company is growing. I have 60 or 70 or even 80 people working for me and I am doing very well. My friend has his own company that is not doing so well. I will make him an offer that he cannot refuse and then I will have all of his people now working for me !!!! He needs to get out of the way and let someone else increase the resources that he had. I cannot believe his short-sightedness!!!

I just made a half a billion dollars last year. I now have several large concerns that are even exceeding my expectations !!! My daughter asked me to watch her sing at a school play. NOT when there is another company to purchase!!!

I told my board of directors that I want the company to do one trillion dollars next year. They all snickered at me but I showed them that I could do it.

In a dream within this dream the great Mother asked me what I was doing. I told Her that I was finally doing something for myself, leave me alone!!!! She eagerly backed away. I knew that She would never stand in my way of making my fortune.

I made it, one trillion dollars plus this year !!! “Friends” came out of the woodwork. I never knew that I had so many. I was seeing how COOL that I really was. I bought for myself and a few of my “close” friends some very cool things. Never would I have to worry about money again. I was set !!!!!

My wife asked me the other day if we could have a "date" night once in a while. Whatever, she has no vision.

I was at the top. I bought the finest that there was. Get out of my way !!!!! Every body that I became acquainted with or that I have ever known applauded my accomplishments. Why not, I did it !! One can say whatever they wish behind my backs, it doesn’t matter, I did it and those poor suckers are still at square one !!! I need to feed this thing inside of me!!!!!!

Some of my friends asked me if we could all go to Oktoberfest in Munchen this fall so I bought all of our plane tickets.
Once again the great Mother entered a dream and asked what I was doing. “GET out of my way old woman.” No problem!!!

Ah, it’s the morning of the day of departure to Europe. The sun is out and it is beautiful today. As I was waking outside I noticed a robin that was perched on the banister of the steps. When it looked at me it immediately flew away. Whatever? I guess that that is all that a bird has to do??? Oh well, It is no concern of mine!! I have the world by the a__ and I am going to enjoy myself.

Why am I being so silly? I just can’t get that stupid bird out of my mind. Forget it, Oktoberfest will be great. I am on the plane any yet I am still thinking about that BIRD!!!
Now I get mad. That little fool flew away just as he saw me!!! Me, it was ME and he just flew away. He had no concern for the fact that it was ME. Oh this is bugging me now!!!

All of my friends worship me. Everywhere I go people have smiles and want to assist me or just make sure that I have everything that I need. I am catered to by everyone except that damn BIRD. My shrink is really going to be intrigued by this one!!!! LOL!!!!??????

WOW, the unmitigated gall of that little feathered peckerwood!!!!!!

I had a lousy time at the Hoffbrau even though it is one of the coolest places that a beer drinker could ever visit. I got back to my room and laid down. I hate that d___bird!!!
I have to be out of my mind to be obsessing so much about such stupidity!!

I arrived back home and looked on the porch. Where are you now robin? I guess it doesn’t matter as you would probably just fly away unconcerned again. What was wrong with me??? I sat on the porch and waited for it to return.

“Please come back”, I asked. Where are you?” It did not need me but I now needed it, so very much!!! Then it dawned on me. I will trade all that I have for all that it has.” What a foolish thought, and yet??? It probably just flew away after it saw me to build a nest or raise a family or dig up a worm or do something truly beneficial for its life and the little ones around it.
Blessed Be

#806085 - 02/14/13 04:32 AM Re: The Goddess [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Burt B. Offline

Registered: 09/08/11
Posts: 1855
quote by Debbie-SpiritualityEditor

I am a little hesitant to type this, as I don't like to show my weak side here very often....

Dearest Debbie,

Happy Valentine's Day!

I have been having a hard time with missing my boyfriend, a little worse than usual. It seems that I was getting better with it, and then the one year anniversary of his passing came and went last month.

I know the hunger and the anguish of wanting the intimate human contact... You have no idea the amount of bitterness, anger, emptiness and hatred I have to control.. I'm in a permanent grieving process and this is most likely one of the few places you can vent your hurt and vulnerability and so-called weakness.

He has not visited my dreams since Thanksgiving. I think he is busy watching over his mother, who needs surgery for possible cancer in one of her lungs. I did ask him to go to her. I still talk to him all the time, but I am not sure if he hears me right now. I used to be sure that he heard me.

Spirit is strange and counter-intuitive, and yes.. they are very busy over there from all that I gather and understand.

In addition, I am having a harder time writing articles for this site.....

Earlier tonight was tough. The pain of grief and loneliness overwhelmed me.

Please understand that this gaping whole in our heart, mind and soul is really a hunger a thirst and a quest for God. The original God in the original Bible that we have clearly stated " Let US make THEM in OUR Image and Likeness Male and Female They (Him and Her) created them".

This is the reference to The Elohim whos names colors and vibrations are listed below:

Start calling out to them OUT LOUD as often as you can.

When you call to them Out Loud Properly in your most heart-felt anguish They WILL Respond to you as though it was a literal 911 Call -- Because it is.

I had to go into the bathroom just to get away from my dogs so they would not see me upset. I don't like upsetting them. And one of them always seems to "know" when I am not right. I went in to cry and it felt like my insides were being gutted out.

These little embodied elementals are truly only the very best friends we could ever have. They are loyal to the death. They have no other reason to exist other than to insure our health and balanced wellness thrive body, mind and soul.

They say time heals,

" They " are mucked up. And, I'm Sorry, but they can shove their adages right up their you know what. This, My Dear Debbie is a Very, Very, very, very Sick World.

Problem is that we are not sick, but sane.

Since we are all children of the most high, striving to mature to Sons and Daughters -- we are subject to the projections of sorrow, grief and insanity.

The Via Dolorosa (Latin,"Way of Grief", "Way of Suffering" or simply "Painful Way") --- is real big in our Catholic Roots.

I deal with it everyday.

But, we are dealing in this time with ' the quick and the dead '.

This is a Spiritually-Scientific statement.

Don't you think that God Created and Controls and Allows men and women to discover science ?

Then in their Proud, Vociferous Way they claim that they can academically educate the God out of you ???!!!!

They have a thumb-nail sketch.

Don't you think that God reserves a ' higher science ' for those who are tested and will not profane the child-like nature of The Living God ???!!!!

but it heals ever so slowly.

Maybe, maybe not.

I still live with a gaping hole in my heart and the only way I can survive is to spend a lot of time alone and listen very hard and very carefully to the heart of hearts of our creator who lives in a multidimensional spirit world anchored right within our physical hearts in this octave.

I am not really alone because my boyfriend's parents are right next door in the main part of the house, but I feel alone and lonely. I miss the affection and interaction from my boyfriend. I asked him to come visit me in my dreams before going to bed last night, but instead I dreamed about my ex-husband, a man who broke my heart like nobody ever will again. My heart is certainly broken now, but in a much different way. I think this is truly the worst event I have had to live through in my life so far.

You have to understand that every person we have been intimate with has a very strong psychic bond to us.

And I'm not using the word ' psychic ' in a positive manner here.

You have to be very careful with the psychic because we can make for ourselves a bed of nails to lie on very quickly and manipulated there by forces who are very astute who's only desire is to see us suffer.

I'm not talking through my hat.

I have mated with bona fide high ranking fallen angels and their cohorts in the flesh.

Now then, you sent a signal to be comforted by your boyfriend in your dreams.

As in any warfare that signal was intercepted.

The psychic bond to your ex was placed there to cause you suffering.

Why ?

Because we are not that educated and astute when it comes to spiritual matters.

Our Lord Jesus Christ has been interpreted and re-interpreted and watered down.

We get the husks.

The fallen elites know universal spiritual cosmic law above and beyond the reproach of human reason so well that they have an iron and steel fist on this planet and have had since the mists of antiquity.

I am very spiritual and believe so many things, but now and then my human side takes over and I just sink. I keep praying to God and to the Mother to help me, because I know I am not meant to suffer like this. I certainly have given it it's due. I know help will come in its own good time. Just a bad night....

Not necessarily.

Please let me pay the initial $100 to get you started on clear-cut cosmic law.

It will walk you through until you can get a ' razors edge ' of distinction between the psychic and the truly spiritual.

I'm not playing.

Let's get started now.

(while I still have the $100)


two cat you na versity

#806419 - 02/16/13 02:50 PM Re: The Goddess [Re: ancientflaxman]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4789
Dave.....as usual you've given us food for thought. Love is all that really matters, and all that truly feeds the soul. Great post, my Brother!
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

#806426 - 02/16/13 03:39 PM Re: The Goddess [Re: Burt B.]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4789
Burt....so often you understand my pain because you have been there yourself. I hope your life is better now because you have your dear Connie with you, and I hope you both had a nice Valentine's Day.

I miss my sweetheart because he was beyond special, and just a joy to be around. But I also miss the physical contact, intimate and otherwise. I have to push away my wants and needs quite often now or I feel like I might go crazy. It is awful to want something so simple and so natural, and to not be able to have it. And I want a deep and meaningful relationship with that physical contact. That can take some time to acquire, if one is so lucky to find a compatible partner.

Maybe it is a desire to know God. I don't really know. I do have a relationship with Him, but I know there is no better feeling I have ever had than to be in the arms of a loving partner. It is truly transcending. Must be all the oxytocin and seratonin flooding my chemically deprived body. Nothing else shuts out the world for me like that and gives me a true feeling of peace, security, and love. I want to love and be loved. I think everybody wants that, but some are content with the love from family, friends, and the higher powers that be, and don't seem to need an intimate partner. Not me.

As for my ex showing up in my dream instead of my sweet boyfriend, I don't know why that even happened. But it was not a bad dream with evil intent. Actually he was trying to take steps to reconcile with me. In real life I know that will never happen, as he and I have changed too much and he married another woman. He is very materialistic now and very concerned with money and status. I am more spiritual and don't care much for money except enough to survive. I have chosen to focus on what is real so I could never go back, but he was once my soulmate.

Burt, thank you for the great information and also the link to the website. I will look into it but I will not take your money. You are a very kind and generous soul, but you need to save your money for a rainy day. Thank you for responding to my post, dear Brother. I found comfort in your words.
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

#806449 - 02/17/13 03:36 AM Re: The Goddess [Re: Linda, Tarot Editor]
Burt B. Offline

Registered: 09/08/11
Posts: 1855
Well, at least I helped some.

I understand your need for tactile intimacy.

Yet, God will fulfill all of your needs when the time is right.

I just don't want you to spend your life ' looking for Mr. Goodbar '.

I have some cousins who did that, and it lead them to all kinds of spiritualist camps and mundane astrology and false tarot readings.

Very, very, very few people upon the entire planet can read tarot correctly.

You're a grown woman, but I just don't want you to go down the oh so many deviant paths out there.

You know the old saying " Do as I say not as I do ".

I went to the spiritualist camps with them -- had lovers that took me to séance -- had readings and the whole nine yards.

It really destroyed me and to this day I have a convoluted love and hatred within my heart.

Basically, what I'm trying to relate to you in the above post is that the material from that organization is very clear-cut and comprehensive.

I hung with them for a while, but they wanted unskilled labor that worked from 5am to 11pm because they were building a ranch that they purchased from The Forbes no less.

I had mystical experiences and a lot of emotional problems and even had some schizophrenic ' hearing voices ' episodes so I really had nowhere to go, and was unable to support myself let alone a wife and children so I stayed with my family's business which was not the environment to bring children into the world.

It's a mom & pop motel 1950's style in a wham bam thank you ma'am beach biker rip off town.

Not the place to raise kids, so I didn't have any.

I'm fairly smart, but I have no worldly credentials because I was off searching for this spirit stuff.

Kinda oil and water sometimes if you have to earn the funds to support a family.

I'm peaceful but pretty bitter because of all the devious ' preacher men ' out there, and then the closer you get to raw truth and the meat of the word, you get even more attacked by well fortified forces that are well entrenched and know very well what the hell they are doing.

One of my girlfriends before Connie up in Michigan took me to a dark room where everyone sat in a circle and they had this huge and heavy cone-shaped metal horn sitting in the middle of the floor -- we were there for the set-up and it was a last-minute rented room and there was not scientifically provable facade for what happened during the séance.

The damn thing levitated in the middle of the room and spun around in mid-air and had a voice come out of it.

A plain piece of metal.

Scary stuff.

Yeah, I got ripped to pieces by spiritual forces beyond my reckoning.

The organization mentioned in my above post has had all kinds of controversy and the children of the leaders became atheists.

But, to heck with the leaders and the organization and their kids.

The material itself is first-rate.

It helped me a lot reading that stuff.

I'm just concerned and I hope that it would help you.

Having a gnawing unfulfilled need and the feeling that you are never good enough leave you wide open to manipulation and spiritual dangers.

That's all I'm really trying to say.

I really meant it about the $100.

But, the better part of wisdom would be to leave it alone and have you make your own determination.

I think they have some freebies as an intro.

Love, Peace and Joy is ours for the asking.

-- Burt B.
P.S. In order to attract the proper mate, you have to be whole within yourself first. If you are broken you will attract broken goods.
two cat you na versity

#806464 - 02/17/13 05:19 AM Re: The Goddess [Re: Burt B.]
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Registered: 01/08/10
Posts: 4789
Burt....I so appreciate your honesty and caring. It means a lot to me.

I am ok, really. Now and then the grief gets to me and I am lonely, I can't lie. I do miss the tactile intimacy. It can be just snuggling on the couch watching a movie. I enjoy the companionship and affection from a partner as well as the physical touch. I am lonely, plain and simple. I have had a partner in my life since I was 21, and I know no other way. I am the happiest with someone.

It does not mean that I do not feel peace. I do. If nothing else this grief has knocked me down to the bare bones where not much matters but survival and feeling peace. I am a quieter and calmer person.

The good news is that I know who I am. I am strong in my belief system and do not need or want someone else dragging me into any type of ritualistic behaviors. So you don't have to worry about me, Burt! And I know what I am made of. I do feel that I am good enough, more than good enough for any caring man. I am different, sure, but I know I am a caring, loyal, and loving person with many wonderful gifts. I have a lot to give the right person, and a man would be crazy to pass me by if he was looking for a good partner.

I know it will all happen when the time is right. In past relationships the next man always came when I needed him the most. I do believe that God and the Great Mother knew what I needed and when, and evidently right now is not the right time for me. It only makes me focus more on myself and what is within, and the healing that continues. I do deserve to be happy, and when the time is right a caring soul will be put in my path. I do have faith that this will happen, even if sometimes my needs become overwhelming and I become impatient. I won't just settle for anyone or anything just because I want to be physically touched.

I am tough even when I am weak.....

Love and service to others gives one's life purpose. I am currently helping my boyfriend's elderly parents with whatever they need. They have no other children and I have become their "adopted" daughter. God wants me to be here. Just as my sweetheart was placed into my life when I needed him the most, at a time when painful rejection almost did me in, I was placed in his life at just the right moment. He would need me shortly down the road, and now that he is gone I am here for his parents, whose world revolved around their always sickly son. If I was not here they would be in much worse shape than they are in now. I am meant to be here. There is a bigger plan.

With that in mind, I do believe better days are ahead. I have confidence in myself and in God's love for me, as well as a knowing that the Mother wants her children happy. I just need to keep the faith. Blessed Be.
Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator

#806484 - 02/17/13 07:42 AM Re: The Goddess [Re: Linda, Tarot Editor]
ancientflaxman Offline

Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 965
Loc: in the middle of Minnesota
Debbie, you are truly amazing!!! I am not trying to give you a big head but you are entering a realm of spirit that is very high in form. When we really hurt inside due to a loss or loneliness we will sometimes linger there and it seems never ending while it is happening. The secret that you are mastering is that when we give of ourselves to others even though we are hurting inside, we automatically build a bridge from their “deliverance” to our own.

I don’t do things for people just because it is the nice thing to do. I am not that nice. I do things for others because I have empirically proven that by doing so all of my desires are met and in a most profound way. The greatest benefit that I have ever known is a deep seated feeling of security, steadfastness, and love that goes beyond the understanding of the rational thinking of mankind. It certainly does not mean that I don’t get really flustered at times. It does mean that despite the fear and heartaches of life that I am in the process, even though small, of rebuilding the lives of myself and others and creating an energy that will benefit every particle of the earth.

Let me ask you a question please. If you were a parent and had a child that sometimes overlooked even his/her own comfort to give life to the other siblings how would you react to that child?? With the utmost respect and love right? Would you not teach that particular child how to heal and protect itself and the others even to a little greater extent than the others that had less concern?

The cosmos is already set up with a like-return affect such as the studies have proven in the theory of the “Law of Attraction.”

Debbie, please re- read what you have written in depth and see how your reaction to negative stimuli is being channeled into a life giving flow. It is out of our lack that we share, not just because we might have abundance. There are many who give out of their abundance due to the fact that they desire no lack in another being. That is also the heart of the great Mother.

There is excellent stuff in you Deb and that is why you lead this site !!! ,,,,dave

#806496 - 02/17/13 10:51 AM Re: The Goddess [Re: Debbie-SpiritualityEditor]
Burt B. Offline

Registered: 09/08/11
Posts: 1855
Blessed Be.
two cat you na versity

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