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#802125 - 01/23/13 04:13 AM How to become good-tempered?  
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 115
Omily Offline
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Omily  Offline
Jellyfish

Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 115
I'm very easy lose temper, and I don't have patience. How to change it?

#803224 - 01/28/13 08:07 PM Re: How to become good-tempered? [Re: Omily]  
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,605
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
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Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames  Offline
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I'm taking a class on stress management right now, and part of what they talk about is how we train our minds over time in how to deal with stress. The more we do Reaction X, the more our mind gets used to doing that. So if we always snap at someone, we train our mind to snap in anger, and it just does that by default.

So to train our minds to do something else, we have to think about it deliberately for 30 days. We have to "retrain" our mind. Yes, it's hard to retrain a mind smile. But after 30 days, our mind now has a new way it's used to doing and the new way is now its normal way. So it gets easier and easier as it goes. I.e. it'll be hard at first. But soon it gets easy.

So start with just one day. Just today. Just for today, your task is to be patient. Remember that life is 80 years long (or more) - nothing that happens today is that important. Take long, deep breaths. These help to relax you. If something gets you riled, count to ten. Then, before you answer, think, are you really going to care about this in ten years? This event, whatever it is, probably isn't that important in the grand scheme of things. Think about what IS important to you, like your health.

Let us know how it goes!


Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum
#805308 - 02/08/13 08:24 PM Re: How to become good-tempered? [Re: Omily]  
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
Jilly Offline
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Jilly  Offline
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This is advice is similar to my Triggers list. I have a list of things I know get me irritated and anxious. When I am experiencing something that I know sets me off, i can stop, think about how to distract myself/do something on my Wellness Plan. That stops the crazy train from getting faster. If I can find new tracks for the train (ie - my brain patterns), I can train myself to avoid Crazy Town.

I'm definitely getting better at this, but it is a LOT of work.

#806560 - 02/18/13 01:00 AM Re: How to become good-tempered? [Re: Omily]  
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 381
clairehobby Offline
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clairehobby  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 381
when you feel you have lost control, count 10 numbers before yarn at someone. it is a very usedful way.


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#819378 - 05/04/13 07:03 AM Re: How to become good-tempered? [Re: Omily]  
Joined: May 2013
Posts: 7
JessicaAlba Offline
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JessicaAlba  Offline
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Joined: May 2013
Posts: 7
Temper can be controlled by meditation and thinking about happy moments all the time. Patience is the habit that can be achieved by self control only. So having the company of humble people and again regular meditation from proper trainer is necessary to improve your image created by such behavior.

#819381 - 05/04/13 08:20 AM Re: How to become good-tempered? [Re: Omily]  
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 674
Joan541 Offline
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Joan541  Offline
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I've found that exercise really helps me to feel totally unstressed and it's when I'm stressed out that I tend to get snappish with people.

I do tai chi 3 days a week and Bikram yoga 3 days a week. After working out I just feel this big release of bad energy.

You also have to learn to let things go on a minute by minute basis. Forgive people on a daily basis.

Catherine Ponder says if people bother you in any way it's because they are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing so just bless them and move on.

I realize growing older sure helps a lot! I'm not nearly as annoyed by things now as I was years ago.

#820022 - 05/08/13 04:40 PM Re: How to become good-tempered? [Re: Omily]  
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,605
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
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Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames  Offline
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Joan -

I agree completely that daily exercise can make an immense difference in stress levels!


Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum
#821105 - 05/15/13 07:47 PM Re: How to become good-tempered? [Re: Omily]  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 852
leahmullen Offline
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leahmullen  Offline

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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 852

These are great tips! Claire, counting to 10 helps you to gain perspective. Jessica, according to experts, meditation is one of the best stress relievers there is!

Being good tempered takes a loads of practice. As Lisa and Jilly pointed out, you have to know your triggers and retrain yourself.

And exercise helps with just about EVERYTHING as Joan541 pointed out. When you perform even low impact exercise like walking, your body produces Serotonin, the brain chemical responsible for feelings of well being.

But remember we are all human, so if you do lose your cool and say something that is less than nice, immediately apologize and try to do better the next time.


LEAH MULLEN
LIFE COACHING

#830096 - 07/18/13 12:47 AM Re: How to become good-tempered? [Re: Omily]  
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 47
JanetWinslet Offline
Newbie
JanetWinslet  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 47
L.A
when i am going to lose temper,i'll choose to do other things,or just go out for a walk until i calm down.


Moderated by  leahmullen 

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