logo

Channel List
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Newest Members
Jessyyoga, Arash, Ziv Halevy, HectorHernandez, TaraV
57403 Registered Users
Forum Stats
57403 Members
417 Forums
113449 Topics
805467 Posts

Max Online: 537 @ 07/02/12 07:21 AM
Top Posters (30 Days)
"Rosie" 632
Beetlemess 265
Connie - ADD/Sandwiches 168
Jana - Creativity Editor 142
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames 79
Nancy Roussy 62
Susan - Meditation Editor 46
Mona - Astronomy 41
Sandra Investing/HFinance 34
Dianne W - Editor 26
Ad Income Supports Charity
Topic Options
#801124 - 01/17/13 03:03 AM Boss Communications
nola615 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 16
Hello Everyone, I left the Corporate world last year to start my own business, which has done OK, but not enough to pay all of my bills. So, I am now applying for corporate jobs again. This is causing me a lot of anxiety because I loathed working in an office. I have been spending time thinking about how I can change my approach in order to make the next job a bit more pleasant. I realized the other day that I have a pattern of poor communication with my bosses. Over the 7.5 years I worked in an office, I had 5 bosses. One that I really liked and working for him was the best year of the 7.5 years. He liked my work, my personality and he gave me feedback that I had the potential to make several advancements in my career. All of the others I didn't like at all and they didn't like me, either. Looking back, I can see that I avoided meeting with those 4 other bosses. I would initially schedule meetings to go over my work and progress, but I always left the meetings feeling empty, nervous and misunderstood. So, after a few meetings like that, I would stop putting time on their calendars to inform them of my work/progress. All of them left me alone, so I guess they weren't too worried that I could do the job. In reviews, when they did have criticism of my work, I would ask for feedback. But, I also remembered that twice there were instances in which bosses thought that I had tried to get out of doing work or had said something bad about the work group. Both were based on circumstantial evidence and conversations and other people. I didn't even know that the situations were going on until a few weeks later. When confronted, I just sat there and didn't explain or defend myself in either situation. In my mind, because it was all new news and I hadn't done either thing, I was just in shock. But, to them, this must not have been a good way to respond. What is wrong with me? Do I have issues with conflict? Being assertive? Am I just a really bad communicator? I think I am an emotional person and I connected on an emotional level with the one boss that I liked. It was easy for me to walk into his office, even without a meeting on his calendar, and keep him up-to-date on what was going on. I enjoyed talking to him. My question to everyone is: how can I over come this flaw that I have about regularly communicating with bosses that I do not have an emotional connection to?

Top

Add Boss Communications to Twitter Add Boss Communications to Facebook Add Boss Communications to MySpace Add Boss Communications to Del.icio.us Digg Boss Communications Add Boss Communications to Yahoo My Web Add Boss Communications to Google Bookmarks Add Boss Communications to Stumbleupon Add Boss Communications to Reddit
#801252 - 01/17/13 03:32 PM Re: Boss Communications [Re: nola615]
Dianne W - Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf

Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 5081
Loc: Virginia
Hi Nola,
Thanks for your post. It definitely sounds like you've got a lot going on. Not to sound sexist, but I noticed that you kept talking about the one boss, where the others all male, female or mix? Was there an age difference?
It seems like you developed quite a rapport with the one manager. I would also be concerned when you talk about being "emotional" and connecting with him on an "emotional" level, which is a concern on the professional level. As a supervisor, I hate to generalize, but I do find that staff who operate on an emotional level, may have a harder time at work.

It does sound like this was a great leader who definitely understood how to bring out the best in employees. You were very fortunate, too bad not all supervisors act in the leadership capacity - which means unless you want to keep changing jobs, which is difficult to do in the economy, you may need to make some changes.

Actually seeking to build emotional bonds with an employee or a supervisor is often times a set up for failure, which it seems you have experienced to a certain degree. Employees should seek a professional relationship in the workplace. I think as long as you seek to bring deep emotions into the workplace you will probably have a difficult time no matter where you go. Sure there will be supervisors who operate at the emotional level, but they also have a difficult time writing performance evaluations based on skills rather than being subjective. The problem with that is once you get on their bad side, they can't separate the professional from the emotional and the employee loses out.

I would also say that sometimes removing ourselves from the role of the victim, which it seems like you really want to do, helps.
I will say that these are just my experiences and opinions with over 25 years as a manager and the last 20 in HR. I would love to hear what others think.
_________________________
Dianne Walker
Job Search Editor, Action Movie Editor, Launch Manager
Job Search Site

The secret to a perfect interview? Know your story and practice it!

How do I relax? I run!
Grandma to Half Marathon

Top

Add Re: Boss Communications to Twitter Add Re: Boss Communications to Facebook Add Re: Boss Communications to MySpace Add Re: Boss Communications to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Boss Communications Add Re: Boss Communications to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Boss Communications to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Boss Communications to Stumbleupon Add Re: Boss Communications to Reddit



Want to reply? Register as a Forum Member - it's quick, free and fun!
Brand New Posts
A Photo A Day
by Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames
Photography
Today at 08:13 PM
Beer-Kissed Cranberry Bread Recipe
by Carolyn-Beer & Brewing Editor
Beer & Brewing
Today at 08:00 PM
Relief For Men With Unwanted Body Hair
by Nancy Roussy
Beauty Basics
Today at 03:32 PM
How often do you cut your hair?
by Nancy Roussy
Beauty Basics
Today at 03:26 PM
Stress Reduction is a Beauty Basic
by Nancy Roussy
Beauty Basics
Today at 03:21 PM
Using Nail Decals for Easy Nail Design
by Nancy Roussy
Beauty Basics
Today at 03:14 PM
Teaching Moon Phases and Eclipses
by Mona - Astronomy
Astronomy
Today at 01:13 PM
Why You Should Brush Your Tongue
by Nancy Roussy
Beauty Basics
Today at 12:06 PM
The Best Way to Condition Your Hair
by Nancy Roussy
Beauty Basics
Today at 11:54 AM
How to get rid of dark circles in 2 weeks?
by Nancy Roussy
Beauty Basics
Today at 11:45 AM
Register to Post!
Want to post? For security reasons you need to Register as a Forum Member. It's quick, easy and free!
Forum Activities
Book Clubs
Trivia Contests
Who's Online
0 registered (), 55 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Ad Income Supports Charity



| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.