I thought we were going to be ok, but i guess he was just in a holding pattern. Just the other day he destroyed his expensive gaming keyboard because he got mad when I said to him, "I feel like all you want me for is a maid." I'm not sure that I can live with someone who is going to destroy things instead of talking things out. I'm not sure how much longer I can continue living with someone who thinks it's stupid to donate time to charity. I asked him if we could do charity walk-a-thons and he said he didn't want to be around any of those kind of people. All of this is compounded by the fact my dad has cancer so i can't really share my situation with him. Is it time to start planning my escape?

Your post has given me lots to think about.

I would say yes. My abuser would destroy my things all time when he would get set off, rarely did he destroy his things. I had clothes ripped up, books torn apart, journals burned in front of me, dishes destroyed, etc. It escalates and will rarely get better.

I know it's hard but take the advice from other experienced wives like Jeanette. By delaying your escape, you are ticking off wasted minutes of your life of freedom.

May I ask: How are you doing on your RN program? Did you decide to go forward with that?

@jeanette, he destroys his things not mine. More accurately he destroys whatever is in reach, which usually happens to be something of his. @Lori, I got all A's in my pre-nursing classes (Microbiology, Anantomy, etc) and was accepted into the RN program at a local community college. It's not very prestigious, but it is convenient (20 mins away). I am waiting for graduation to re-evaluate my relationship, since I cannot really afford to live on my own at the moment. I keep asking him to consider counseling as a present to me for any holiday. Once I graduate, I'll be more secure in issuing an ultimatum: Improve or else! I have already begun to separate out the things I would like to take with me when I leave: my books, my craft supplies, my clothes, etc. so that when I issue that ultimatum I am ready to go and need only put those boxes in a Uhaul and skedaddle. I am a very cognitive person and I like to think things through thoroughly before I act. Graduation will be in 2 years, and I think that is enough time to prepare to leave him and also enough time to see if he will get counseling and straighten up his act.

Smart girl.

Did I mention that, on the advice of his eldest sister, I have my own separate bank account? :)

If a family member gives you advice about there own sibling....believe it!!! I am in worst situation and it only gets worst, then he starts throwing those things at you.....

My ex-BIL is very similar to my husband, so this sister of his knows what she is talking about