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#791030 - 11/04/12 12:48 PM here we are again ...  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
sad_1 Offline
Amoeba
sad_1  Offline
Amoeba

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
I thought we were going to be ok, but i guess he was just in a holding pattern. Just the other day he destroyed his expensive gaming keyboard because he got mad when I said to him, "I feel like all you want me for is a maid." I'm not sure that I can live with someone who is going to destroy things instead of talking things out. I'm not sure how much longer I can continue living with someone who thinks it's stupid to donate time to charity. I asked him if we could do charity walk-a-thons and he said he didn't want to be around any of those kind of people. All of this is compounded by the fact my dad has cancer so i can't really share my situation with him. Is it time to start planning my escape?

#800384 - 01/13/13 01:08 PM Re: here we are again ... [Re: sad_1]  
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Lori - Marriage Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Lori - Marriage  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Koala

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Orange, CA USA
Your post has given me lots to think about.


Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

BellaOnline.com Marriage
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Dreams editor
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and @flutterby03
#800408 - 01/13/13 03:23 PM Re: here we are again ... [Re: sad_1]  
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,898
Jeanette - Editor Offline
Jeanette - Editor  Offline

Chipmunk

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,898
Cincinnati, Ohio
I would say yes. My abuser would destroy my things all time when he would get set off, rarely did he destroy his things. I had clothes ripped up, books torn apart, journals burned in front of me, dishes destroyed, etc. It escalates and will rarely get better.


Jeanette Stingley - Women's Lit
http://womenslit.bellaonline.com
#800417 - 01/13/13 03:51 PM Re: here we are again ... [Re: sad_1]  
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,963
Lori-Dreams Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Lori-Dreams  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,963
I know it's hard but take the advice from other experienced wives like Jeanette. By delaying your escape, you are ticking off wasted minutes of your life of freedom.

May I ask: How are you doing on your RN program? Did you decide to go forward with that?


Lori Phillips
Dreams editor

Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

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Bellaonline Marriage site
Twitter: @BellaMarriage
#800438 - 01/13/13 07:41 PM Re: here we are again ... [Re: sad_1]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
sad_1 Offline
Amoeba
sad_1  Offline
Amoeba

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
@jeanette, he destroys his things not mine. More accurately he destroys whatever is in reach, which usually happens to be something of his. @Lori, I got all A's in my pre-nursing classes (Microbiology, Anantomy, etc) and was accepted into the RN program at a local community college. It's not very prestigious, but it is convenient (20 mins away). I am waiting for graduation to re-evaluate my relationship, since I cannot really afford to live on my own at the moment. I keep asking him to consider counseling as a present to me for any holiday. Once I graduate, I'll be more secure in issuing an ultimatum: Improve or else! I have already begun to separate out the things I would like to take with me when I leave: my books, my craft supplies, my clothes, etc. so that when I issue that ultimatum I am ready to go and need only put those boxes in a Uhaul and skedaddle. I am a very cognitive person and I like to think things through thoroughly before I act. Graduation will be in 2 years, and I think that is enough time to prepare to leave him and also enough time to see if he will get counseling and straighten up his act.

#800441 - 01/13/13 08:14 PM Re: here we are again ... [Re: sad_1]  
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,963
Lori-Dreams Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Lori-Dreams  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 1,963
Smart girl. smile


Lori Phillips
Dreams editor

Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03

Marriage editor
Bellaonline Marriage site
Twitter: @BellaMarriage
#800893 - 01/16/13 08:22 AM Re: here we are again ... [Re: sad_1]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
sad_1 Offline
Amoeba
sad_1  Offline
Amoeba

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
Did I mention that, on the advice of his eldest sister, I have my own separate bank account? :)

#810775 - 03/11/13 07:11 PM Re: here we are again ... [Re: sad_1]  
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 8
Addictedtoanaddict Offline
Newbie
Addictedtoanaddict  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 8
Florida
If a family member gives you advice about there own sibling....believe it!!! I am in worst situation and it only gets worst, then he starts throwing those things at you.....

#810940 - 03/12/13 09:01 PM Re: here we are again ... [Re: sad_1]  
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
sad_1 Offline
Amoeba
sad_1  Offline
Amoeba

Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 51
My ex-BIL is very similar to my husband, so this sister of his knows what she is talking about


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