Yes, this is abuse. Verbal, emotional and psychological abuse. Could it worsen and turn into physical abuse? Yes. Because his behavior is already escalating, such as starting to punch furniture.
Even if it wasn't, it is maltreatment. Why would you stay with a man who treated you like this?
Sometimes the verbal abuse can be just as bad as physical abuse. It will negatively affect how your son sees himself, men, father figures and women. There are scars that may be invisible to the eye but deeply etched upon the heart and mind. I've seen once capable and strong women turn into mentally unstable and pitiful doormats due to the constant whittling away at their esteem from bad men.
This man is mean-spirited.
If you love your son, if you value yourself in any way, if you believe you are a good mother, you have to make plans to get out. I suppose that counseling for him and for both of you *could* be a first step, but if it were me, I'd take my son and create a healthy, safe and peaceful home first. If my husband wanted to work towards reconciliation and if there was love there still, I would attend marriage counseling while living apart until he proved he was serious about making changes. Maybe he is experiencing some emotional problem that is causing him to lash out in mean ways. Maybe he can be taught that words wound. I don't know.
I'm too insecure a woman to put up with that. If I thought for a minute that my husband honestly meant those words, I would free him from having to be married to someone he doesn't like.
But I would never tolerate even the possibility of mistreatment of my son.