I was very interested when I read Burt's statement, "I am mentally ill." It's been really hard for me to own that. It's so hard because I don't want to be perceived as weak, not good enough, broken, crazy, etc. I don't tell anyone I know about this because I have lost a few friends that way. It feels good to be in this forum and be able to say, "Yes, I am mentally ill." I lost all my friends when unmedicated and couldn't pretend anymore that I didn't have any problems. You all probably know those melt downs and breaking points. Now that I'm medicated and seeing my psychiatrist a couple times a week I have made new friends and I really want to keep them. Everyday I put on my game face (now that I can) and go out in the world to work, to socialize, to volunteer, whatever. The game face is so tiring to wear for 8-10 hours until I can get home. I feel a sense of relief coming to this forum because I can show the real me without fear of reprisals. I thank you all for opening up and sharing. I am grateful. Does anybody have anyway of coping and being real, yet safe out there? The only people who really know me are my shrink and my husband. Even my children don't know the real me. They know I've had breakdowns in the past, but they think I taken care of all that and it's in the past.

Also, Thank you Burt for saying what you said about being mentally ill and thank you Dr. Ilyssa for joining our group. Hi to Jilly, Karen, Rosie, Julie, Melissa, Kitten, Bella, Deb and anyone else who has posted that I didn't catch. I hope we can help each other out and support one another. I know I need every bit of help I can get.

Well Ruby, you have crossed a great threshold reaching out for help. It is difficult, challenging and takes great courage.

Congratulations !! !!!

There is a wide variety of voices here, and hope comes in many forms from the least likely sources.

You will find out a little secret as time passes by.

It comes in the form of as reaching out to ask help for you, you will find your postings and expressing of yourself will help many others who you will find have even greater need than you !

Give it time, but never stop expressing yourself.

It is very healing.

Keep postin' on !



-- Burt B.

Thanks Burt B. I value your response very much. :-) (I don't know how to put emoticons on my posts yet!)

Ruby,
People will start to know the real you when you begin to know the real you! It takes time and you are on the road to healing. I wish you well.

If you haven't already....read my article Therapy Basics. While it does not go into depth on any particular situation/illness, it does speak to some of the benefits of seeking out support as well as some of the myths that people still believe after so many years of knowledge and growth in the area of mental health.

Therapy Basics

Hi Dr. Ilyssa, Thanks for your response. I wasn't able to pull up the article from the link. Then I tried to search the BellaOnline site for it. Is there another way to get it? I would like to read it. It does take time to know the real you (me). And I'm finding it requires some silent time everyday. Lately I have been turning off my car radio, meditating, turning my thoughts inward and contemplating loving-kindness toward myself and others, as encouraged by my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist has given to me the concept that it is not selfish to spend quiet time with or on yourself (myself). So I have been clearing great swaths of time during this period of my life. It really feels great. (I was raised to think idle hands are the devils playground, but fortunatly have been able to let go of that entire belief system). Most of the time I am able to stay present in the moment, but secretly sometimes I look forward to the future with hope. Knock on wood. I know this sounds funny and it's ok to chuckle with me.

Ruby,

Double-click real fast on the blue underlined link Therapy Basics in the doctor's post.

That should get you to the article.

Dr. Ilyssa, I just now was able to read the full article.

It is still taboo in our culture to seek additional tools for emotional well-being.

Self-knowledge, self-awareness and cultural identity issues are something that everyone thinks is automatic, built-in, and you're just supposed to 'get it'.

Economics and socioeconomic status are closely tied to this, and with that in flux so much it is hard to pin down, "where you fit in".

Yeah, I may have been labeled as 'weak' but I have accrued self-knowledge, which is precious in my sight.

Thanks for the cutting edge article doctor.

Ruby, quiet time is essential.

It is a most beautiful way forward.

-- Burt B.

Hmm... The link I received in the e-mail seems to go to Winter Solstice.

The link on this posting board Therapy Basics goes to the right spot.

That could be the problem.

-- Burt B.

Hey Jilly! Please read this. I too suffer from anxiety. Also panick attacks. Sometimes I get a little heart palp here and there that may freak me out. Doc also diagnosed me for fibromyalgia, which ironically is also linked to anxiety. At this point I gave up trying to figure out if it was my thyroid and other things. Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. I am not prescribing anything to you, but sharing my story with you. There is NO guarantee what works for me may work for you or anybody else. I for the most part have been able to keep panick attacks under control, heart palps under control, as well as anxiety. For the most part, you need to pay attention to a few things. 1. What you eat 2. Your physical activity 3. Vitamins (what you may lacking.) So for number one, if you have IBS, are lactose intolerant, are gluten intolerant, this may also play a huuuge role in all of this. What do you eat? Are you drinking/eating caffeine? Stop right there. Try taking out caffeine, processed sugars, lactose and wheat from your diet completely for at least 3 months, and see if that makes any change. I know it sounds hard, but I did it, and confirmed it helped me immensely. I have since went back to eating those things and I am in the same rut again. It's going to take me a month or two to get these things BACK out of my system. But it's doable. Also, any recreational drugs... or alcohol, if any, cut that out. For number two, in addition to changing your diet (if it needs to be changed) are you exercising? You don't need to do anything crazy, a 30 min walk during the week should do the trick. If you are overweight, then maybe consider dropping. I lost 20 pounds and let me tell you, it helped so much. I was sooo sick all the time. Sometimes that extra weight just isn't supposed to be there. And let me tell you, the minute you remove the wheat (bread), cheese, sugars, you are not going to have that much trouble. Lastly, deeply research these vitamins: L-Theanine, Magnesium. If you totally plan to cut out dairy altogether, I'd supplement a Calcium & vit D in there too. OR get some sun! Sun the best form of Vit D, that stuff gets into your skin, it's good for you!! Not sure if you're taking a b-complex vitamin, but that is good for the mind!! Do some research. Now, the reason I started looking for better ways of managing anxiety is because ativan, prozac, xanax (all the [censored] I was prescribed) is just no way to live. It is depressing in itself. Disclaimer: I am not asking you to stop taking those things because I am not your doctor, but you need to keep in mind, the medical industry THRIVES on medication. That is the business. Pushing meds. I do not recommend getting out of your doctors orders without consulting your doctor because if you have been taking these medications for a long time, your body may react to you stopping. So you need to consult your doctor. IMPORTANT! Again please go back to the disclaimer. This is not a prescription for anything. I am soley sharing my experience and story. The last fourth thing you need is patience. It's going to take time. Do not expect to feel better or to change in a day, or a week, or even a month. NOW, relaxation techniques... Get spiritual. Sometimes things that plague us are far beyond everything else you can think of okay. Any strange stuff happening around you, everything falling apart, sage your house. Maybe get a little white candle, pray over it, light it, and ease your mind a bit. Get a box of epsom salt (if you aren't allergic) that and some vinegar, draw a nice warm bath... Do nothing but relax. Unclutter your mind, stop thinking about stuff that is worrying you... Financial problems, let it go, because it'll get better. Somehow find a way to prioritize "YOU" in your life! What makes you happy. If there's something you like, maybe listening to relaxing music, or drawing, or painting.. Maybe go to a massage parlor. Things that take your mind off of your anxiety, depression. It seems you may be a lot older than I am, I am 25. That's all I did that worked for me. The problem is you need to keep it up. It's hard sometimes, who doesn't love warm bread, or a big bowl of spaghettis. Who doesn't love cupcakes... Sometimes the things we might like to indulge can be really harmful to our bodies. Everything within moderation!

I am reading along, but traveling right now. I hope to get some time to chime in in depth. I did want to show my support for this brave and useful thread.