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#798287 - 12/30/12 03:04 PM Unemployed, Scared and I Hated My Job
nola615 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 16
Hi All, In Jan 2012, I took a leap of faith and quit my job in order to start my own business. I absolutely hated my job and my boss was about to put me on a 60 day performance plan, anyway. He had done that to 4 of the last 11 people that worked for him. My father had just passed away at age 68 and he had never done anything but work, so I took the Company's 10 week severance package instead of the 60 day performance plan and quit. I loathed the entire 5 years that I worked there anyway. It was like a nightmare. I started my own business and I have been able to cover 50% of my bills. Now, my savings are running out and sales aren't growing fast enough to make-up how fast my bank account is shrinking. So, I have to re-enter the workforce. I am sick with worry over not getting a new job before my money runs out and I am EQUALLY worried about hating my next job as much as I hated my last one. I have 7 years of post-MBA work experience. The first 2 years were with a Company that left me with tepid feelings. So, I left and went to the second Company where the 5 years with them were traumatic. I spent 3 years in therapy, was on anti-depressants and sleeping pills and gained about 55 pounds. I am SO scared that the rest of my working life will be either "tepid" or "traumatic". My student loans are $925/month and with the mortage, I know I need to do something that will pay at least $85k. I got a degree in the wrong feild for my outgoing personality and I am just looking for some advice on how to deal. Thanks, all.


Edited by nola615 (12/30/12 03:04 PM)

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#798364 - 12/31/12 08:38 AM Re: Unemployed, Scared and I Hated My Job [Re: nola615]
Dianne W - Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf

Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 5025
Loc: Virginia
Dear Nola,

I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. Staying in a job you hate can be traumatic. It doesn't sound like your work experiences were giving you much satisfaction so you set out on your own. One thing entrprenuers need is definitely an outgoing personality! If you don't mind sharing, what was your self-employed business? You indicated that sales were down. Is there anyway you can modify what it is you sold to a smaller scale until business picks back up?

With this "fiscal" cliff thing looming, jobs may be even a bit harder to find until it's settled.

As far as the degree, my college degree has nothing to do with the field I'm in now (that happens for many, many people, so perhaps changing the mindset if that is what is holding you back from applying to jobs.

I would also say that desperation has a tendency to show whenever we get an interview. Candidates start saying the wrong thing to interviewer in talking about their desperation for a job instead of addressing how the skills they have fit the organization. So if you decide to go back into the corporate world, that's important when you interview.

One other very gentle suggestion, if you walk into your next job with the thought you already are going to hate it, you will. Since it sounds like a job is very important now, you may need to find something that pays the bills, but unfortunatly be something you're not passionate about. If possible can you find something part time and keep your business going?

I do wish you the best of luck!
_________________________
Dianne Walker
Job Search Editor, Action Movie Editor, Launch Manager
Job Search Site

The secret to a perfect interview? Know your story and practice it!

How do I relax? I run!
Grandma to Half Marathon

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#798466 - 12/31/12 02:08 PM Re: Unemployed, Scared and I Hated My Job [Re: Dianne W - Editor]
nola615 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 16
Hi Dianne W, Thank you for your kind reply. I has half expecting to not get a response at all on this forum, since I blame myself entirely for this mess I am in. My business is selling luxury apparel on ebay and I net about $2k/month after expenses on bad months. I am a licensed attorney and I have an MBA in Finance. I never practiced law because my grades in law school were not very good and every law firm asks for transcripts. I just figured no law firm would want me, so I took a job at Ford Motor Company after grad school, which was tepid and then took the position at J and J. J and J was just plain awful. Several of the women in my department saw a therapist, myself included. So much for the family company. I agree that my attitude in an interview is super important and I have the same concerns about coming across as either desperate or totally not interested. Every day for the past month, I have just cried multiple times a day. Cried over lack of money, cried over putting on hold my plans of trying for a baby, and cried over having to go back to the corporate world. I am wondering if I am just a big baby and need to be thankful and try to suck it up.


Edited by nola615 (12/31/12 02:11 PM)

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#799001 - 01/03/13 09:08 PM Re: Unemployed, Scared and I Hated My Job [Re: nola615]
Dianne W - Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf

Registered: 11/10/08
Posts: 5025
Loc: Virginia
Hi,
Sorry for the delay in reply. It does sound like you have a lot going on. My mom actually retired from J&J, she loved it - so I guess it's a case by case basis.

Tough love (cushioned by hugs) would say, you may need to pick yourself up by the "bootsraps" and do what it sounds like you know you need to do. Crying is ok, but then there comes a time when we kinda need to move forward. Is there anyone you can talk to face to face? I'm definitely feeling your pain, but you're stronger then think.

Sometimes we don't do things or try to do things because we are afraid of failure, once we move past that - it's amazing what we can accomplish. I've got faith in you...
_________________________
Dianne Walker
Job Search Editor, Action Movie Editor, Launch Manager
Job Search Site

The secret to a perfect interview? Know your story and practice it!

How do I relax? I run!
Grandma to Half Marathon

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#799007 - 01/03/13 10:25 PM Re: Unemployed, Scared and I Hated My Job [Re: nola615]
Kathleen - Scrapbooking Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Amoeba

Registered: 09/18/12
Posts: 98
Loc: Michigan
I'm confused. Do you LIKE doing your own business? If it upsets you this much to go back to something you don't want to do, then I would say keep doing what you like but lower your expenses and if you can, increase your income by some other means. 85K seems like a LOT to live on - do you have a fancy home or car(s)? Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't sacrifice my sanity for any job. It may not be what people typically think of, but it sounds like 2k on a bad month is pretty successful, especially if you enjoy it.
_________________________
Kathleen Rensel
Scrapbooking

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#799008 - 01/03/13 11:12 PM Re: Unemployed, Scared and I Hated My Job [Re: nola615]
Alice - Horror Lit Offline
Jellyfish

Registered: 04/23/12
Posts: 181
Loc: Colorado
Maybe there's a place in law for you that doesn't involve being a lawyer? My sister-in-law is a legal aide in the medical industry and loves it. And she makes good money (she was a licensed pharmacist but didn't enjoy that job). Now she spends her day doing internet research (my dream job).
_________________________
Alice Andersen
Horror Literature

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#799010 - 01/03/13 11:24 PM Re: Unemployed, Scared and I Hated My Job [Re: nola615]
Lestie - ContainerGardens Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet

Registered: 03/25/11
Posts: 1028
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hello Nola615 and all,

This is going to be a good year! I am sure of it! And for each all of us!

Nola615 - maybe you would like to go to the JOB SEARCH site, also run by DianneW, and see the latest thread on that site. If you decide to do that exercise you would gain immeasurably and I could also offer a lot of other advice and examples and help and suggestions and ideas etc.

If not, no fuss - but I do wish you luck in playing what seems to be a talented skillful and very nicely rounded hand. It is just that being scared colours everything so; and holds us back.

Jump the 'scaredy' boulder and RUN TOWARDS rather than 'away from' (if that makes sense to you) and I hope it does!

Good luck with your decisions!

Cheers now
_________________________
Lestie Mulholland - Container Gardening Editor

Container Gardening Site

Container Gardening Forum

"Things GARDENING are great ... they are my daily smiles on toast!" - Jennifer St John-Rose, formerly black thumb recently turned green.

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#799093 - 01/04/13 04:49 PM Re: Unemployed, Scared and I Hated My Job [Re: Alice - Horror Lit]
nola615 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 16
Hi Alice, Thank you for the nice reply. I really like your suggestion about findingan alternative career and Ihave been so scared that my thinking has been rigid. I had not allowed room for new and creative ideas like that to come in. Thanks again.

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#799094 - 01/04/13 04:51 PM Re: Unemployed, Scared and I Hated My Job [Re: Lestie - ContainerGardens]
nola615 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 16
Hi Lestie, Thank you for taking the time to send me a post. The advice and replies by everyone on the forum help nourish me and make me stronger. I definitely WILL go check out that thread right now.Thanks for letting me know about it

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#799107 - 01/04/13 08:38 PM Re: Unemployed, Scared and I Hated My Job [Re: nola615]
loongdragon Offline
Koala

Registered: 09/21/12
Posts: 2200
Loc: Mont Tremblant,quebec Can
Dear Nola 615

What ,I have read so far,is "did not like the job.Need a 85k job to be satisfied.You have diplomas that you do not want to use

I worked 8 years for a man that is an exploiter.I was an antique color restaurer.But no water in the shop,no toilets,where I live
it goes down to -40 some days.So imagine doing a# 2 on a rag at minus 40.Why I stayed,I live in a Resort area,where year round jobs are pretty scarce.So I stayed ,Until I started my own Business.You need 3 things to have success if you start abusiness

1-Talent for that business
2-Work like a dog
3-a bit of chance.
The third i did not have.Everything that could go wrong ,happened
to finish it off my ex bought my share and went bankrupt.Left with everything.I lost everything.Went to food shelters ,eating spaguetti sauce for a year.
I survived and learned how to manage my money better.

The Zen Masters say why a $500,00 house ,$200,000 is sufficient
because remember this ,you do not live in the walls of your house,but in the empty space.

Today I am retired .live frugally with my pension.Never ,ever been richer. You should see my apartment a real Oriental Palace
for $475. a month.

You live your life as you wish but never forget that cravings creates stress and stress creates suffering.You and you alone are the master of your life.May your life change into a life of happiness,bliss and abundance.

loong
_________________________
loong


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