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#747708 - 02/23/12 02:09 PM How can I be a Life Coach When My Life Sucks!  
Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 4
TruAffinity Offline
TruAffinity  Offline

Joined: Feb 2012
Posts: 4
For the past 5yrs I have wanted to become a life coach and mentor to young parents who are struggling with drug, alcohol, and or other addictions. I want to be able to assist them in getting their children out of or staying out the care system and this is something that I believe is my life path. However, I feel so pathetic as I know that my own life needs fixing before I can even attempt to help others, please can anyone give any advice whether it is for fixing my life or advice about how to take that first step towards achieving my dream. I dont have any issues with any of the above problems but I am lacking confidence, my self esteem has fallen dramatically due to the break up of a relationship and I just feel very down on myself in general. I have been using this site [url=http://selfimprovement101.ruthlessincome.com]Self Improvment[/url] to help me and I have found some valuable advice, but if anyone has any other suggestions I would be grateful.

Last edited by TruAffinity; 02/23/12 02:29 PM.
#747786 - 02/23/12 10:18 PM Re: How can I be a Life Coach When My Life Sucks! [Re: TruAffinity]  
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 208
Dean - Vision Issues Offline
Dean - Vision Issues  Offline

Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 208
Urbana Illinois
Hello, TruAffinity .
Check out some of the Self Help E-Books in the Bella Online library. You can find the library on your members page if you have the free membership. The library contains E-books on Self-Esteem.
Wishing you all the best!

Dean Ingalls, Vision Issues Editor

vision issues homepage

vision issues forum

Remember to sign-up for the Vision Issues Newsletter to get weekly updates!
#750419 - 03/10/12 11:34 AM Re: How can I be a Life Coach When My Life Sucks! [Re: TruAffinity]  
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 647
gemineye006 Offline
gemineye006  Offline

Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 647
hi truaffinity,
yes you re rightabout that you can t fix others beforeyou ix yourself.so you should start by that.from fixing yourself you ll get the knowledge to fix others.obviously up to a certain point you can t fix others unless they want to,jus like you can t fix yourself if you don t want to.
but fixing others so instead of yourself is going to create bad consequences.
addictive people obviously struggle with thesame issues you do.once you ve overcome yours you can help them too.
low self esteem,no confidence ,can just become an addiction as well.some people are addicted to being in self pity.andsomepeople are addicted to relationships that only take or destroy you.the relationship to drugs is the same relationship you can have with someone that drains you,some people like to be treated badly.
as to drugs some people take them to improve their self confidence but obviously there s a price to pay for that.
drugs also break the relationship has with one self,so ifyou cant overcome the relationship with another and thereby break therelationship with yourself with low confidence or self pity,you can t help those people having a relationship with themselves instead of having one with drugs.cause drugs are a relationship too ,the only thing is that they take and take and take...
i hope it helped,know that if you believe it is your life s path then life gave you the opportunity through your hardshipstoinitiate you in those matters soyou get the knowledge necessary to do your life s work. take care
i might just want to add without having had thoseissues yourself whther with drugs or alcohol you can t really help them as you don t knowwhat drugs are,but you might be of help on a higher level than that.

Last edited by gemineye006; 03/10/12 11:39 AM.
#754626 - 04/01/12 01:04 AM Re: How can I be a Life Coach When My Life Sucks! [Re: TruAffinity]  
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 417
loong Offline
loong  Offline

Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 417
Mt Tremblant,quebec ,can
To TruAffinity,

Just checked your profile.You describe yourself as:Life Coaching, Personal Development, Mentoring .

At the original date you wrote your thread, your life seemed in the dumps.My question is :what is a Life Coacher? To be able to Mentor others,takes a lot of knowledge on human behavior, a very stable life.You seem to mention that you do not have these right now.A dream is a dream is a dream.

Is your present job mentoring,tutoring others?
If it is ,you should know the answers to your questions,and especialy not let yourself go where you are now.

If you are a beleiver in God,maybe he can help!

With compassion and loving kindness
a simple buddhist named

#754739 - 04/02/12 01:56 AM Re: How can I be a Life Coach When My Life Sucks! [Re: TruAffinity]  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 852
leahmullen Offline
BellaOnline Editor
leahmullen  Offline

BellaOnline Editor

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 852
Hi TruAffinity,

In response to your question. YES you can help others tho you are not perfect. Did you know that most life coaches have their own life coaches? Some have more than one! We are all still on the journey.

Also you don�t have to officially be a life coach in order to help women/children in need. You could volunteer in a domestic abuse shelter under the supervision of a licensed social worker. Then while learning about the population you�d like to serve, you can get your life coach training/credentials together. Also as the other posters suggested, make sure you get the help you need while you are helping others.

Don�t wait! Start moving toward your dreams today!

All the best,


Last edited by leahmullen; 04/02/12 02:02 AM.


#761332 - 05/07/12 07:02 AM Re: How can I be a Life Coach When My Life Sucks! [Re: TruAffinity]  
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 21
Marina_J Offline
Marina_J  Offline

Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 21
Yes this is really appreciated view by Dean. You can read E-Books and also take help on websites. And going to the library for reading about it. Thank for sharing.

#766869 - 06/07/12 10:40 AM Re: How can I be a Life Coach When My Life Sucks! [Re: TruAffinity]  
Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1
Rebxx1 Offline
Rebxx1  Offline

Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1
Hi TruAffinity, Being human means that we are all impacted upon in some way by the challenges, stresses and tribulations of life. As a coach or with an intention to become a coach, the most important thing is to take responsibility for personal self-care and well being. That you have identified there is something you want to change about your life is good. The next step is to perhaps get the support of your own Life Coach, carry out some personal development tasks and do the necessary work that will bring you into a more centred space. You will feel and know when you are on the way, which will contribute to your increasing confidence and self-esteem. It's normal to feel off centre. Congratualtions on being human! It's what we do to raise our vibration that matters. As a life coach myself, I find that having empathy with 'real life issues' due to my own past experiences, means that I can remain objective and not get caught up in a coachees situation. This is important. Therefore, know who we are and working through our stuff, helps us with confidence - I call it 'being rooted'. To re-iterate: if you would like to become a life coach - walk the talk. Start with having your own life coach / mentor!! Kind regards Rebbx

#766908 - 06/07/12 03:17 PM Re: How can I be a Life Coach When My Life Sucks! [Re: TruAffinity]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 4,906
ExerciseEditor Offline
ExerciseEditor  Offline

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 4,906
The title of this post is so funny. I actually see this a lot in personal training. Overweight, out of shape, trainers trying to teach clients how to lose weight or get fit. How does that work? It doesn't. You gotta help yourself first in order to be able to help others. When you do this the lack of confidence and low self esteem just vanishes and is replaced by skills based on both coaching courses and experience getting your life together.

Monica Neave ISSA Certified Fitness Therapist

Get Your Best Female Figure with the most overlooked workout strategy.

Burn more fat with Fatloss Workouts that work!

#797634 - 12/24/12 04:40 PM Re: How can I be a Life Coach When My Life Sucks! [Re: TruAffinity]  
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 61
Maria Marsala Offline
Maria Marsala  Offline

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 61
One of the things I realized as I went through coaching school, taking all the assessments I was going to give my clients, was that I can alway use help.
There are ao many different levels of working with others. Sometimes we work on things we need to work on ourselves, other times it's things we've already learned.
When we work with others, we learn about ourselves, too. Thomas Leonard once said "coach, coach theyself" I don't believe that I can exactly coach myself, but when I find an issue that I need help with, I get the help.

See if you can find a Mentor Coach at the program you're attending.

Maria Marsala
Coach to Financial Professionals
#799032 - 01/04/13 02:57 AM Re: You Can>>can I be a Life Coach When My Life Sucks! [Re: TruAffinity]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 753
AKLisa- Knitting Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
AKLisa- Knitting Editor  Offline
BellaOnline Editor

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 753
Fairbanks, Alaska
I saw the post title, and i have to say, that I agree with Monica above. Every mechanic I have ever met has vehicles that need repairs. My Dad was in construction, and some of the work he did around the house was, well, not what he did at work. I suppose that when you spend all day doing an activity, you want to do something else when you get home.
That doesn't really match up with what the OP was saying, though. I think it would be worthwhile to put some time working on yourself and then using that as part of your new found confidence in life coaching. You walked it, and then you talked it kind of thing. I hope TruAffinity has accomplished this in the last year!

Lisa Linnell-Olsen
Knitting Website
Knitting Forum

Moderated by  leahmullen 

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