logo
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,391
D
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf
D
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,391
Long periods of unemployment are painful and depressing. So much so it's easy to give up on the search when if feels pointless. How do you motivate yourself to keep looking?


Dianne Walker

Action Movie Editor
Action Movies Site

How do I relax? I run!
Grandma to Half Marathon
Sponsored Post Advertisement
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9
T
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
T
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 9
Just keep trying and never let them kick you down. Remember things will get better and in the meantime building business skills, network with others, and take time for yourself.

Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,391
D
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf
D
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,391
Great points Tina!

As the jobless period grows, it's easy to get demotivated to the point of not even wanting to get up or get dressed in the morning. It feels easier to withdraw. It definitely starts with taking care of yourself physcially, then being able to get out there and meet people.

Support groups are good too!


Dianne Walker

Action Movie Editor
Action Movies Site

How do I relax? I run!
Grandma to Half Marathon
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,028
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,028
Hello there!

I am sending this unedited LONG post for advice only in the hope that it will get 'you' up and going again.

It is a self evaluation and starts off with your immediate answers to the questions:

Would you employ you? If so why and if not why not?

Take a whole day. Or two. Or three. NOT LONGER.

Set the alarm. Get up and get dressed and go to your friend's office (as a guest for the 3 days) and pretend this is your office and this is a project that you have been given and only 24 working hours to do it in. If you haven't got a friend who can host you for the day then get to the library. Thing is you HAVE TO get out and away from home so be resourceful and find a 'public' place

Answer the question above by first noting why you WOULD employ you. All the positives. All of your training and skills and talents and abilities and experience should be listed in three columns on one A4 page for as many pages as it takes. Ask your friends,colleagues and family what they think about your skills and talents and abilities. You will be surprised what comes up - they and others see things in you that often you don't see or are not aware of in yourself. Ask yourself what do thin about yourself? ONLY POSITIVES for this part of the exercise. Ask yourself why you were/are good at what you do/did? Then third person it - ask yourself what make a good Nurse? Engineer? Secretary? Builder? Armitage Winder? I don't know, what is it that you are and did or do? Add those positives to your list. Remember that your previous employers had faith in you and your skills, ENOUGH to employ and pay you, so now you should have that faith in yourself to acknowledge how why and etc you are good.

Only ask for positive feedback from outsiders. Add these to your list even if you disagree with them or don't see it. Could be someone will say 'you should have been a teacher Lulu, you are so patient and steady'. EEK you may think, Me? Steady and patient ... is she nuts, I am not steady or patient. Doesn't matter what you think right now, write STEADY and PATIENT on your list of positives.

For this part of the exercise, re-read your list as it grows and think of examples of when you were steady or patient or charming or good at selling or quick thinking or ambitious or etc.

Smile a lot - just smile and breathe deeply.

At the end of the day, put these notes away and go to a movie or visiting or something, but GO OUT and try not to think of your day's work. But I bet if you did what I suggest you will be grinning and feeling good.

DAY TWO
Set the alarm, get up and get dressed and go to the 'Office' NO SHORTCUTS. Get away from your home. Could be you find another venue? Okay, but not home.

Now you are going to do the same thing but write down what YOU ONLY think are your negatives. Start off by answering Why you would not employ you? You may want to hold ff until your list of negatives is finished. Use two columns for this. On the left write down some stuff that you wish you could do, were, could be but can't don't or won't etc Think of previous work examples of where you slipped up? How could you have improved. Don't get into the blame game, BUT there are times when we are let down and negative circumstances happen because of this. Be strict but FAIR. Was it a circumstance or was it you that may have caused the 'bad work outcome' Just use the past two years for examples here unless you can think of too many caused by the same aspect.

For the afternoon of Day two you will use the second column to turn each negative aspect into a possible positive. How?

Well, if you said you were impatient for example, then note down what is good about being IMpatient? Well I know that being IMpatient can save you time so it makes you a good or better time manager. Being IMpatient gets things done. Being IMpatient sometimes clarifies stuff so that you have to slow down and get into pace with others which pulls in other good stuff about you like being steady and courteous and calm and self-disciplined.
Do that with everything you have written down. Think of a positive aspect of everything on your list. Should have gone to college? Couldn't? Didn't? Instead you travelled or learnt valuable practical sills. Missed that promotion? Well, made you move to another company who valued your skills more. Can't speak French? Determine now if learning French is pertinent to your present Career and if it is, then put it on your TO DO LIST which you will work on tomorrow.

DO NOT SKIP turning EVERYTHING on your Day two list into a positive. I repeat myself. DO NOT skip anything - turn everything you wrote down into a positive. Do it now, today NOT later, NOW as you come across it.

Oh and by the way, many more positives will arise and show themselves so add these to your day one list all the time. At 5 'o clock leave the office and go home to catch up on any house keeping etc. Ironing is good. Gives you time to reflect and remember and cry and laugh and all those good things that you can do when you are alone. Not alone? Can't be alone because of the kids or the wife/husband/mom etc? Do your best to set up all to give you as much downtime and me time as you can and soldier on. (See another good thing about you is that you are a good planner and family person) P S NO TV please.

DAY THREE
Plan what you are going to do with what you have learnt about yourself. Do you need to get a Drivers licence? Bake a cake? Learn a language? Find out about subscriptions of magazines or publications or clubs and societies and institutes connected to your field of work? Set up some informational inteviews, go and visit some recruiters - I don't know, these are just some things that I think of now - YOU WILL KNOW what to put on your day three lists as you pull all three days together.

Feeling overwhelmed. Probably. AND VERY MENTALLY TIRED. GOOD.

Go to bed early night three. Maybe your mind will be too active for you to sleep easily? Good. Just lie in the dark - all night if you must. Just do this. BUT set the alarm and GET UP and get dressed day four and five and etc.

Now see what you see. Start reading the vacancy colums again with new eyes. Start networking again with a COMPLETELY revised attitude. Start knocking on doors. Start to manage your career again and yourself.

EVERY DAY from now on, (Except Sunday) GET UP. GET DRESSED for the office. Be ready to answer the call for a quick etc meeting/opportunity interview and to get there 'immediately' A-B-R ... Always be Ready.

Go on now - start planning how you are going to get three days to yourself to do this exercise.

And when you have done it and you have questions then come back here and ask and I will/We all will try to help you answer them. But only AFTER you have done your three day boot camp in getting to know you!

I used to be a recruiter and career consultant in my previous life and this formula is magical and produces scary results - like more than one work opportunity when none were dreamed of before. Like tough decisions. Like Who ME? What now? YES you and YES now.

And then I retired sort of and went back to doing stuff and gardening - lucky me!

Thank you for this opportunity Dianne, I KNOW it will help anyone who is willing to work it.

Cheers now





DAY THREE

Set the alarm and get dressed for the office.





Lestie Mulholland - Container Gardening Editor

Container Gardening Site

Container Gardening Forum

"Things GARDENING are great ... they are my daily smiles on toast!" - Jennifer St John-Rose, formerly black thumb recently turned green.
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,028
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,028
Hello Everyone,

Please excuse the typos above - thanks. Can't get in to edit them! Dianne can you help?

Forgot to mention that this exercise should be done at least annually and/or every 6 months or so for those times when you update and adapt your Resume/CV.

Keep your notes private, they are for your interest and use only as honesty is what you work on - being honest about who you are and how operate.

This exercise can be used very well for people starting out on a career search. Note I say CAREER and then by default JOB search.

It is also good for CAREER CHANGERS.

It is also good for enthusiastic RETIREES who seek formal work after age 60 plus.

It is also good for anyone RETURNING to the workplace - like empty-nest ex HOUSEWIVES/HOUSE HUSBANDS, Moms and Dads, returning servicemen/women ... ANYONE who has been out of the formal workplace for a while for whatever reason.

It is also good for anyone contemplating OPENING a business or becoming self-employed in any way.

It is also good for Moms and Dads to use to help children choose school subjects for career orientation.

It is also good if you are working now and seek PROMOTION or lateral career moves in your present company.

IF YOU KNOW WHAT you have to offer then things just do fall into place - trust me

And the last bit of chatter says adapt the situation in terms of where or when you do this evaluation, but do not skip out the steps. They rely on each other and will allow that TO DO LIST to fall into place. Mark these words.

Best regards to us all!

Last edited by Lestie - ContainerGardens; 12/13/12 02:17 AM.

Lestie Mulholland - Container Gardening Editor

Container Gardening Site

Container Gardening Forum

"Things GARDENING are great ... they are my daily smiles on toast!" - Jennifer St John-Rose, formerly black thumb recently turned green.
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,391
D
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf
OP Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Wolf
D
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,391
Lestie,
This is perfect advice, perfect, perfect, perfect! I know it will help people GREATLY!!!

I don't think anyone would notice any typos (I didn't) because they would be too busy soaking in all the information and motivation!


Dianne Walker

Action Movie Editor
Action Movies Site

How do I relax? I run!
Grandma to Half Marathon
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,028
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,028
Hey to All and Dianne,

Great!

Now just for fun and some good ideas and to test the theory above... I would like to try an experiment which should land up giving a lot of people some good ideas (I hope)

Let's explore the fact that on your I AM GOOD AT list is a seemingly incongruous and unmatched note where you say to yourself I am good at COOKING.

What does a person have to be in order to be a good cook? What does being a good cook have to do with getting a job? What makes you good at cooking? Would you even call yourself a chef? Of course I am talking about a home cook here, not specifically someone who has made their career in hospitality, BUT neither am I excluding you careerists out there; please play along and add your opinions and points.

Also this post could suit several of the groups of people I mentioned in my second post above - YOU YOU and YOU as well as recently retired people, men and women, people in their 20's 30's 40's 50's and all and all, people who have been out of work for a time, people who have just been 'let go' and so on.

So, what does it take to be a good cook?

To start I think you have to be a mixture of the following

** Resourceful
** creative
** likes food
** understands food
** understands basics of good nutrition
** be interested in recipes
** be adventurous in the kitchen
** make a lot from a little - able to stretch a recipe or make a nice enough dish from few ingredients;
** Planner
** can feed hungry people looking at you expectantly two and three times a day!
** be good with budget and making your dollar stretch
** someone who can take chances
** someone who bakes AND cooks?
** able to run a full kitchen...month after month

Okay, now it's your turn - please add your comments even if they are similar. Different too.

Thanks

Last edited by Lestie - ContainerGardens; 12/13/12 07:48 PM.

Lestie Mulholland - Container Gardening Editor

Container Gardening Site

Container Gardening Forum

"Things GARDENING are great ... they are my daily smiles on toast!" - Jennifer St John-Rose, formerly black thumb recently turned green.
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,028
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Parakeet
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,028
Hello All and Everyone-

I can guess only that you are all too busy, this being the end of the yeat and you will be busy with all that the end of the year brings.

The New Year's build-up too is now in full swing so as soon as things settle down, perhaps we will have to wait and see if there are any who will find the time to work on themselves and on these exercises.

New Year's Resolutions. Oh dear, what again!

** Returning to the workplace can be scary but it is hard work.
** Being unemployed and looking for a job is hardwork.
** Being in a job you hate is hard work,
** Managing your career by finding a lateral step to enhance your skills and experience is hard work.
** Keeping yourself up-to-date and current and on track in your career is hard work.
** Getting 'career' fit or learning a new career-necessary language is hard work.
** Etc. Etc. And so on is hard work.

Wish I had something easier to say, but I don't.

Still, I read this recently and thought it very appropriate .. and I shall be using the advice it offers for some of the projects I am being slow to go on myself -

IF YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO START
YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO SUCCEED!

Good luck to you and good luck to me. Smile now.

Cheers


Last edited by Lestie - ContainerGardens; 12/26/12 12:20 PM.

Lestie Mulholland - Container Gardening Editor

Container Gardening Site

Container Gardening Forum

"Things GARDENING are great ... they are my daily smiles on toast!" - Jennifer St John-Rose, formerly black thumb recently turned green.

Moderated by  Dianne W - Editor 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Brand New Posts
MyHeritage & OldNews
by Angie - 03/16/24 09:15 AM
Psalm for the day
by Angie - 03/16/24 08:27 AM
Denmark's Oscar Entry "The Promised Land"
by Angela - Drama Movies - 03/15/24 08:51 PM
Stunning jewelry by Devon Leigh
by sarae - 03/15/24 12:58 PM
From Candlemas to March Equinox
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/14/24 07:35 PM
2024 - on this day in the past ...
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/14/24 07:12 PM
A Lenten Reflection
by Angie - 03/13/24 09:24 PM
Stitching by Hand
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor - 03/13/24 04:21 PM
Lucy Lawless Directs New Documentary
by Angela - Drama Movies - 03/12/24 05:47 PM
Inspiration Quote
by Angie - 03/10/24 03:09 PM
Sponsor
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Privacy
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2022 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5