As you can already tell... I chose not to be a parent.
My mother had untreated depression and so did my aunt in Europe as did my grandmother.
I was idolized as a child, which is a form of abuse.
I was hospitalized at the age of 16 yrs. for depression in 1977.
I have been able to hold on to some intelligence and courtesy but was unable to control my emotions and impulses.
I did not want to burden a new life with the possibility of schizophrenia.
It was a painful choice as I had a very loving and supporting family and would have made a great parent.
However, I did not take responsibility early enough in my life, and did not grow up on schedule.
I was an extension of my mother's self-esteem as she was not able to attend college because of an abusive father.
I never left home and could not make it as a responsible adult.
I craved and craved responsibility -- but every effort to become independent from my family and their businesses was met with scorn and contempt.
You are healthy, I'm damaged goods.
I just desire so much to prevent the pain and destitution I have experienced.
Nurture / nature / genetics / environment and / or economics -- I don't know which combination led to my fall.
I do know that I require a regimen of psychotropic medication to prevent entering into psychosis.
But this is best discussed in a mental health forum.
I'm just happy for others who have found their way and are happy and healthy... that's all.
I want for others what I could not have for myself even though my physical needs are met.
Bottom line is that I have done things, seen things, and been around people who have lifestyles -- if you want to call it that -- that no human being should have seen or done.
This has opened me up to a world where honest effort is rebuked and demeaned.
As in the case of derivatives on the stock market.
So my purpose posting here is to give a clarion call to those that have the youth and vibrancy to make a difference.
For the future safety and security of you and your love ones, please take a moment to read, absorb the following pamphlet.
The home was obtained through the rule of law by exposing the fraudulent practices of the banksters.
I can be written off as a mentally ill individual.
However, it is difficult to explain what it is like to be a prisoner of your own mind.
This blessed soul has been able to articulate the foe within and the foe without:
Carry The Torch Tuculia, you have my heartfelt backing.
I just want those who are able to make the world a better place informed of grievous pitfalls.
We just lit the Christmas Tree -- it rhymes... hehe