Hi,

As you can already tell... I chose not to be a parent.

My mother had untreated depression and so did my aunt in Europe as did my grandmother.

I was idolized as a child, which is a form of abuse.

I was hospitalized at the age of 16 yrs. for depression in 1977.

I have been able to hold on to some intelligence and courtesy but was unable to control my emotions and impulses.

I did not want to burden a new life with the possibility of schizophrenia.

It was a painful choice as I had a very loving and supporting family and would have made a great parent.

However, I did not take responsibility early enough in my life, and did not grow up on schedule.

I was an extension of my mother's self-esteem as she was not able to attend college because of an abusive father.

I never left home and could not make it as a responsible adult.

I craved and craved responsibility -- but every effort to become independent from my family and their businesses was met with scorn and contempt.

You are healthy, I'm damaged goods.

I just desire so much to prevent the pain and destitution I have experienced.

Nurture / nature / genetics / environment and / or economics -- I don't know which combination led to my fall.

I do know that I require a regimen of psychotropic medication to prevent entering into psychosis.

But this is best discussed in a mental health forum.

I'm just happy for others who have found their way and are happy and healthy... that's all.

I want for others what I could not have for myself even though my physical needs are met.

Bottom line is that I have done things, seen things, and been around people who have lifestyles -- if you want to call it that -- that no human being should have seen or done.

This has opened me up to a world where honest effort is rebuked and demeaned.

As in the case of derivatives on the stock market.

So my purpose posting here is to give a clarion call to those that have the youth and vibrancy to make a difference.


For the future safety and security of you and your love ones, please take a moment to read, absorb the following pamphlet.

The home was obtained through the rule of law by exposing the fraudulent practices of the banksters.

http:
//www.scribd.com/doc/62496633/Gold-Pamphlet

I can be written off as a mentally ill individual.

However, it is difficult to explain what it is like to be a prisoner of your own mind.

This blessed soul has been able to articulate the foe within and the foe without:

http:
//natashatracy.com/

Carry The Torch Tuculia, you have my heartfelt backing.

I just want those who are able to make the world a better place informed of grievous pitfalls.

Sincerely,

Burt B.
We just lit the Christmas Tree -- it rhymes... hehe

Hey Burt,

No one can that I know can write themselves off which includes you. The good part about mental illness is a recovery is wonderful and possible. Your opinion matters at this site. Again drop by for other topics. Your insight into life and it's experiences are welcomed. I am sure that our Mental Health site would love to hear from you as well as the views of the site. Don't forget to drop by and check on me from time to time.

Tuculia Washington

4-10

Thanks,

-- Burt B.

Good Luck!

Tuculia