I actually understand this (NOTE: Not condone it, merely understand why they don't want police reports).
The military has there own tiers of intervention. It's an internal dispute basically.
None-the-less, that doesn't mean the abuse is any less real and for the spouse maintaning a domestic front, vs. a spouse that faces combatant issues, there's, in my opinion, plausibly, room for discord when the two worlds of perception collide.
The Domestic individual keeps things running on the home- front and is usually dependant on the other spouse financially. Marrying into the mility can have its limitations.
I like the term "Ombudsman" for whatever reason this word just popped in. I had to look it up, actually, when it did...
Ah, gotta love, ADD.
One of the worst strategies of dealing with these types of abrasions/abuse, depending on how severe the issue, is being made to feel culpable in some manner.
We rely on our military to keep us safe! However, we may not know the extent of what it is they have to deal with in regards of what is being asked of them, mentally , spiritually (right and wrong) and physically.
When they come home, sometimes it can be like having to "Depose" adjusting from one atmospher to a more loving.
That's not a justification for abrasive/agressive/abusive behavior, but more an area of recognition, is needed to correct or help resolve this issue.
I feel strongly, this is an area that will manifest itself 10 fold, dismissing it. Spoken freely, however, offers the opportunity for a marital union, if it so desires to stay in tact